Kingdoms – The Rusted Idol Saga Book 2: The Island Queen

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The Following is a work of fiction – by it’s very nature, it could never have happened. No Celebrities used within were harmed in the making of this story, even if they were harmed in the story itself – trust me, they’re all still just fine. None of the celebs seen within are meant to be the real person. They are used here as original characters, and are meant to be complimentary in most cases. The author does not mean to imply any of them would do what they are seen doing in this story. There is plenty of sex and violence within, so if that’s not your thing, please go read something else. There is actually some violent sex within this story, so be warned, this may be a little rougher than most TRL stories. If none of that appeals, you know where your back-button is. Everyone else, enjoy!

Kingdoms – The Rusted Idol Saga Book 2: The Island Queen

The seafaring Kingdom of Port, long the most powerful of nations on the seas of Celebria, has been attacked! A devastating sneak attack by Keira Knightley, the Pirate Queen herself, has devastated the Port Fleet, and escaped not only with the new Port Flagship, but Princess Miley Cyrus, royal heir to Queen Natalie Portman’s throne.

At the same time, the deadly assassins Caspar and Memnon have been unleashed within Castle Port itself, intent on killing the Queen before they are caught. Their first attempt was only thwarted by mere chance and the presence of Captain Michael Hayesworth. Were it not for him, the Queen would be dead, and the Kingdom in complete turmoil.

At the same time, a secret cabal of Port’s wealthiest and most important leaders have set their own plans in motion to seize the throne. While the pirate attack has set their plans back, they still have their own assassin in place in the castle, and the will to use it, should the time prove right.

In a last-ditch effort to save the Kingdom, Queen Natalie dispatches the first ship that returns to Port after the attack – the run-down frigate Rusted Idol – with orders to either retrieve Princess Miley, or die trying. For Captain Kelly Clarkson and her crew, these orders might as well be death sentences. But if they don’t succeed, the entire Kingdom could be lost, and darkness may sweep across the lands of Celebria…

* * *

The morning sun kissed the deck of the Rusted Idol as it cut it’s way through the water, heading out to sea as fast as the wind could take it. Aside from Perchy, the man in the crow’s nest, few of the crewmembers even noticed, so concerned were they with what was going to happen next. Or more concerned with how they were avoiding the thought of what was going to happen next.

“Oh, fuck!” Midshipman Jordin Sparks moaned as her heavy breasts bounced in time with Commander Lambert’s thrusts as her superior officer vigorously pounded away inside her. Her mocha colored skin seemed to work like actual coffee for him, as he seemed to be getting more and more awake the more he licked and sucked on her breasts.

On the far side of his cabin, no more than five or six feet away from where the Commander was plowing her, Jordin could see two more crewmembers – Katharine McPhee and Kellie Pickler – actively engaging in a 69, their naked bodies still covered in sweat from their own turns with the commander. Jordin didn’t mind that she was his third woman on the night – the entire night, as sunlight was streaming in through his window now – she was just glad to finally get his rock hard cock within her. She’d had a crush on him since she’d first boarded the ship, and while she knew he had a reputation as being more than happy to fuck every woman on board while ignoring them the rest of the time, she’d held out hope that she’d get her chance with him.

Now she was going to do everything she could possibly do.

“That’s it, keep fucking me, keep fucking me,” she whispered in his ear, trying hard to not let the other two girls glance back over in this direction – they’d each made it clear that they would be more than happy to give the Commander another go when he was ready, and Jordin didn’t want to share right now.

“You have fantastic tits,” Lambert said between a mouthful of her impressive tit flesh.

“They’re yours any time you want them,” Jordin said, running her fingers through his hair. “Anything you want of mine, you can have.”

“Uh-huh,” Lambert said, shoving his cock into her pussy harder. He was using her, she knew that, but she didn’t care. She wanted him inside her. And he felt fantastic inside her. His cock brushed against all the right spots, his hands gripped her with desperate need, and his lips grazed her skin, sending little shivers of added bliss across her body.

On the other side of the small room, Kellie let out with a laugh as Kat rolled her over and started fingering her ass. Jordin let her gaze wander over to the two while Lambert continued to fuck her. Kat and Pickle were notorious for enjoying each other’s bodies, and for sharing their love with other crewmembers. And who could blame them. Kat was a classic beauty, with long dark hair, fantastic breasts, and legs that seemed to go for miles. Pickle was no slouch, either. Her golden hair was mesmerizing in the morning light, and her rear end was to die for. But her best asset were her breasts, impossibly appealing – enough so that some wondered if she’d used magic at some point to enhance them, though no one dared ask about it. Still, she was beautiful, and Jordin had enjoyed both her and her lover more than once since joining the crew.

Still, Lambert had been her goal – Jordin preferred men to women when it came to sex, though like most women, she realized both were fun in bed. Lambert, however, was handsome, daring, and brave. Jordin had wanted him the moment she saw him, and if she had to share him in order to have him, she was fine with that. After all, who turned down sex with the likes of Katharine McPhee and Kellie Pickler?

Jordin suddenly felt her orgasm growing, and she gripped Lambert tight to her.

“Don’t stop, please don’t stop!” she gasped, feeling her ecstasy growing within her. He followed directions well, actually increasing the speed of his thrusts while groping her tits with both hands to hold on. His head came up, and he looked down at her face, and that was exactly what Jordin wanted to see as her climax shattered through her brain, blinding her with the completion of her lust. Her neck went limp and she squeezed her eyes shut, allowing the orgasm to overtake her completely.

She must have blacked out, because when she came to, Lambert was still fucking her, though he had placed both hands upon the bed on either side of Jordin’s head, using that for leverage as he built himself towards reaching climax like Jordin just had.

“Oh, Jason…” Jordin smiled, trailing off as he grunted, clearly close to cumming.

And that was when the door to the Commander’s room swung open. Harsh morning light spilled in on all four naked bodies, and for one terrifying moment, Jordin thought she was going to die.

Then she realized that Captain Clarkson was standing in the doorway, holding it open with one hand, her other on the hilt of her sword at her waist. Jordin once again thought she was going to die.

“There you all are!” Clarkson said, her voice remarkably clear and commanding. “You’ve all got five minutes – be dressed and out on the deck by then, or you’ll all walk the plank.”

“Why?” Lambert asked, still buried inside Jordin’s warmth.

“Because I’m going to save all our lives,” Captain Clarkson said.

“Can we finish here first – if I’m going to die, I’d like to have had as much sex as possible first,” Lambert said, an ironic tone in his voice.

“Don’t let me stop you,” Clarkson said. “Just be on the deck in five minutes.

Lambert started fucking Jordin again before the door even closed behind the captain, and moments later he was blasting his hot load deep inside her.

“Hurry up,” he said, jumping off Jordin. “I can’t wait to see this.”

* * *

Five minutes later, the entire crew of the Rusted Idol stood on the lower deck, looking up at where Captain Clarkson stood, almost ignoring them as she checked a map and her compass.

“You wanted to see all of us, Captain?” Doctor Underwood said after the crew stood there waiting for several long moments.

“Huh? Oh, right!” Clarkson said, folding up the map. “Right, right.” She walked over to the stairwell and stood atop it, smiling.

“As you all know, we’re all marked for death right now. We’ve been charged with either rescuing the captured Princess Miley, or dying at the hands of any other Port ship we ever run across. Now, I don’t know about you, but I don’t care for the idea of being killed by our own people.”

“So what’s your plan, Captain?” Commander Lambert called out. “Flee to the Orient? Scuttle the ship and make our way inland?”

“They might take us in if we made it to Astemia,” Underwood said. “Especially if we bring them the Idol – they’ve always wanted their own sailing vessels.”

“How would we do it?” Katharine McPhee asked. “I mean, we can’t sail the Idol down the Victoria River, can we?”

“Too shallow,” Lambert said at once. “We’d have to hide it somewhere and try to convince the Astemians to mount an expedition to retrieve it later.”

“An expa-what?” Kellie Pickler asked.

“HELLO!!!” Captain Clarkson called out. “I’m trying to explain something up here!”

“Sorry, Captain,” Commander Lambert said.

“No, really, Expa-what?” Pickler asked again.

“My plan doesn’t involve running away or scuttling the ship or anything like that,” The captain went on. “We’re going to find the pirates and rescue the Princess.”

The entire crew was silent for a long moment. Then Lambert turned back towards Underwood.

“What if we stashed the ship somewhere on the Moai Islands – with so few Port ships, they wouldn’t possibly be patrolling that area any time soon.”

“We’d still need some way to get from there to Astemia,” Underwood put in.

The sound of a gunshot going off shut everyone up again.

“We’re going to rescue the Princess,” Captain Clarkson said, still holding the smoking pistol.

“I’m sorry, Captain,” Lambert said. “But that’s impossible!”

“Impossible.” Clarkson said. “Impossible,” she repeated. “I don’t think so. And I have a plan that will insure that not only will we rescue the Princess, but we’ll be able to return home to Port with our heads held high. We’ll be heroes. Saviors.” She smiled wolfishly for a moment. “So great will be our return, the Queen will deny us nothing.”

The crew was silent again.

Finally, little Demi Lovato spoke up. “Uh, can we hear the plan?” she asked.

Captain Clarkson smiled.

“The way I see it, there are two problems with rescuing Princess Miley. The first is that we don’t know where she is. The second is how to get to her. It’s quite obvious that the Pirate Queen will bring her to her home base, but as you know, the Port Fleet has been searching for that base for years now, with no success. We need to find that base of operations first before we can do anything else.”

“And how are we going to do that?” Selena Gomez scoffed. “Find a stray pirate and ask him?”

Captain Clarkson smiled. “Exactly.”

“Exactly,” Selena said. “Oh, good. Sure, we’ll just round up a stray pirate. That should be easy,” she added, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“It is on Isla Sorna.”

The rest of the crew went silent, but Commander Lambert’s eyes went wide, and a broad smile creased his face. “Isla Sorna,” he said, practically laughing. “Brilliant. Just brilliant!”

“What’s Isla Sorna?” Demi Lovato asked.

“It’s one of only two island ports anywhere near Celebria that hold no allegiance to any Kingdom of any kind, the only other one being the Island of Sapphos. It’s run by free traders, merchants, smugglers, bandits, and pirates. The whole island is little more than one small city of bars, cantinas, storehouses, supply shops, and whore houses.”

“Whore houses?” Selena spoke up. “Sounds better already.”

“It’s the ultimate layover spot for any ship,” Captain Clarkson said, taking over the description. “It’s non-aligned, and holds a fierce no fighting policy for any ships docked there, and everyone respects it, because if you start trouble there, you’ll have the entire island and every ship docked there after you. Because of that, crews of different ships commingle all the time, and it’s not uncommon to see a Viking drinking with a Port sailor, or a merchant man playing cards with a couple of pirates.”

“If there was anywhere in the world where we might find a pirate to tell us where the Pirate Queen is, it’s there,” Lambert said, clearly excited now.

“So we find a pirate and learn where they’re holding the Princess,” Jordin Sparks spoke up. “Then what?”

“Then,” Captain Clarkson said, “I was thinking we might just all become pirates ourselves.”

* * *

Back in the Kingdom of Port, the whole Castle Port seemed to be aflutter with people rushing about. The Queen had been attacked last night, and coming so close on the heels of the deadly Pirate attack that had destroyed the bulk of the Port Fleet, the entire realm was close to panic. Guards were searching every room, soldiers from Port’s small army were surrounding the Castle Port itself, and sailors, displaced when their ships were destroyed, were being put to work to help keep the peace as best they could – though they couldn’t stop everything. The night before a bar on the far side of town had burned down to the ground, and some suspected it was deliberately set.

Surprisingly, one of the few places in the castle that wasn’t busy was the baths – everyone was out, hunting for the assassins or trying to repair what was left of the fleet or just trying to keep the peace. No one had time for a relaxing soak and the a well-tended massage. The only ones in the massage room for most of the morning were the two full-time masseuses.

The senior masseuse, an older woman by the name of Greta – just Greta, she had no last name anyone could remember, even herself. Greta had worked in the castle for close to thirty years now, and had seen more naked bodies of all shapes and sizes than any other person in all of Celebria, she figured. She knew how to massage everything, from backs to feet to arms to breasts to cocks, and did so with extreme prejudice – she took her job very seriously, certain that a quality massage was critical to everyone’s well being, especially the important clients she got here in Castle Port.

Besides Greta was Summer Glau, newly appointed apprentice masseuse, a very young looking waif of a girl who seemed scared of everything – and unwilling to speak too much. Greta tried to coax her out of her shell, but it had only been a few days, and one of those days was the Pirate Attack. Now, with the Queen’s life in danger, Greta feared she’d never get the youth to break out of her shell.

Greta normally worked with a gentleman named Marco, a flamboyant old man who clearly desired men over women when it came to sharing a bed, but was tolerated everywhere in the castle because of his incredible skills at manipulating flesh. So talented with his hands and fingers, Marco had been credited as the only man allowed to touch old King Thomas’s naked body and enjoy it. Had King Thomas lived much longer, Marco would’ve not only managed to convince the King that men should be allowed to engage in sex with other men, but allowed to do so as openly as women made love to women in Port.

Then King Thomas had died, and Marco had decided to go on an extended vacation. No one was quite sure when he would be back, but until then, Greta was more than happy to have Summer around to help.

There was a bit of commotion at the door, and Greta was surprised to see two women entering the baths. “Madame Sirtis, Minister Pompeo!” Greta said aloud, surprised to see them.

“Greta, good morning,” Marina said, her voice ringing with her usual false pleasure – Greta had never heard Marina Sirtis sound really happy. Her voice always seemed to have an undertone of displeasure, even pain. As if dealing with anyone but herself bothered her greatly. “How is young Summer doing?”

Marina had brought Summer to the castle, and right to Greta, knowing the old masseuse was looking for help in her daily tasks. Greta had been surprised, but had eagerly accepted the offer to take the girl in, and hoped to make her into her eventual replacement. “Summer is doing well,” Greta said carefully. “The attack shook her, and she’s not spoken much since it, but her work is splendid.”

“Wonderful, then!” Marina said, smiling towards Foreign Minister Ellen Pompeo. “Would you mind, then, if I have her give me and Minister Pompeo here massages today?”

“Not at all,” Greta said, smiling. She glanced over at Summer, who was sitting up alertly. “Summer, do you mind-”

“No. I don’t mind,” Summer said carefully, standing up and heading towards the two.

“If it’s not an issue, Madame, I’ll leave you in Summer’s care,” Greta said. “I’ll go get Summer and I some fresh water from the kitchens.”

“Take your time, Greta,” Marina said as she headed towards one of the two massage tables. “I want Ellen to really get to enjoy Summer’s skills.”

“Of course,” Greta said, smiling – when a woman came in asking to really enjoy a masseuses skills, it generally meant that there would be sexual contact between them. Greta certainly didn’t mind, and if Summer was okay with it, who was she to say no? She glanced over at Summer again, who merely looked back at her inquisitively, then headed out. Maybe she could find something to eat in the kitchens, too – really give the trio time for privacy.

* * *

“It is traditional for female masseuses to be naked while performing massages,” Summer said, matter-of-factly as Ellen Pompeo lowered her towel and laid down on one of the tables.

“Then by all means, get naked, dear,” Marina said. “This will be brief anyway.”

“You don’t want a massage, Mistress?” Summer asked, surprised.

“Not right now. Things have changed,” Marina said sharply.

Summer stood still, half out of her dress, her breasts exposed to the room.

“Is she always this… quiet?” Ellen asked carefully.

“Yes,” Marina said. “Summer, massage Ellen here. I shall give you your new orders as you work.”

“At once, Mistress,” Summer said, continuing to strip. “Does my nudity bother you, Foreign Minister?”

“No,” Ellen said slowly, admiring Summer’s naked body. It had been a while since Ellen herself had engaged in sex with another woman – she generally preferred men, but one didn’t go through life in Port without experimenting with women at some point or another. If Summer was here long enough, perhaps Ellen would experiment with the young girl again.

“You saw the Pirate Attack” Marina said at once, speaking to Summer as she began to knead the flesh of Ellen’s back.

“Yes, Mistress. And I’ve heard that the Pirates kidnapped my target, Princess Miley.” Ellen was surprised at how calmly Summer reported that information. Most of the Kingdom was still up-in-arms about the event, and the kidnapping of the Princess was particularly important to Summer, who had been sent to the Castle specifically to kill her. Summer had been an critical part of a plot to remove Queen Natalie from the throne, and put Ellen there in her place, with Marina and a small cabal of backers becoming her chief advisors/supporters. The Pirate Attack, happening mere days before Summer was to strike, had ruined all those plans – and almost instantly made Summer a possible problem for Ellen’s ambitions.

Still, there’s always uses for a highly trained assassin, Ellen mused as the willowy brunette released the stress from her shoulders.

“You weren’t behind the attack on the Queen last night, were you?” Marina demanded at once.

“No,” Summer answered at once. “My orders were to get close to the Princess – but she’s been kidnapped-”

“We know,” Marina snapped. “You orders will change. Get to know Minister Pompeo well, Summer. She will inform you when your time to strike has come. Any orders from her are to be considered equal to orders from me.”

“Of course, Mistress,” Summer said, kneading the flesh of Ellen’s ass as she followed Marina’s every word.

“Now, hurry up and finish Ellen’s massage,” Marina said. “The Kingdom cannot wait for us for long.”

* * *

Almost the entire morning had passed before Captain Michael Hayesworth, commander of the Queen’s Royal Guards, had awoken, and by that time the entire Castle Port had been searched with no sign of the two killers to be found. Hayesworth received this report as he groggily rolled out of bed, still naked, and reached for the mug of water Stana Katic offered him. Stana was rapidly becoming one of Hayesworth’s most trusted aides, and the fact that she was here, waiting for him to wake up after the disastrous night before calmed him somewhat.

“How’s the Queen?” he asked.

“Been up for a couple hours now – she’s fine, and already about her work. I’ve got ten men around her, and I was leading the detail myself until the Doctor told me you were due to wake up.”

“How’d she wake up before me?” Hayesworth muttered.

“She, apparently, knows not to drink the entire mug of sleeping draught,” Stana said with a smirk.

“Funny. Where are my clothes? I need to get going.”

“No, you don’t,” Stana said, raising a hand to stop Hayesworth from getting up. “The Queen has said you are not to report to her until she comes for you, and that her Ladies in Waiting will see to your every need between now and then.”

Hayesworth frowned, looking around the room. “If that’s true, where are they?”

“Here! We’re here!” a new voice called out. A heartbeat later, Ginnifer Goodwin and Molly Quinn came rushing into the room, both carrying large platters of food, most of it still steaming warm. They both stopped dead in their tracks for a second as they realized Hayesworth was still naked, but then pressed forward.

“Back into bed with you,” Molly said, putting her tray down and pressing her hands against the Guard’s chest to lay him back down. “You aren’t to get out of that bed until it’s time for your bath.”

“Bath?” Hayesworth asked.

“Eat first,” Ginnifer said, offering him a grape by practically stuffing it in his mouth. He gagged for a second – Hayesworth didn’t like grapes – but managed to chew and swallow the little fruit without choking to death.

“Breakfast in bed comes first,” Molly said, handing him a large glass of apple juice. “Then Ginnifer and I are to take you to the Queen’s private bath chamber, where we’re to bathe you and see to all your needs until the Queen comes for you.”

“But I have-” Hayesworth started to speak, but Ginnifer cut him off by handing him a slice of toasted bread with a large heaping of honey upon it.

“Queen’s orders,” Ginnifer said. “Now eat up.”

* * *

A half hour later, Hayesworth lowered himself into the steaming pool of warm water in the Queen’s private bath chambers. As much as he hated to admit it, the sensation felt wonderful on his skin, and he felt the stiffness in his body starting to melt away. Even though every fiber of his body wanted to rush to the Queen’s side and see to her protection, the bath felt wonderful.

Suddenly, both Ginnifer and Molly appeared behind him, both clad only in white silken robes that clung to their nubile bodies in most pleasing ways. Each sat on the side of the pool, dipping their legs into the water but moving no further in.

“Let us know when you want us to start washing you,” Ginnifer said.

“I can wash myself,” Hayesworth said.

“But you aren’t supposed to,” Molly said, her voice eager. “The Queen wants us to handle that for you. And anything else you need.”

“What else could I need?” Hayesworth sighed, relaxing back into the water.

“Anything,” Ginnifer said.

“Or anyone,” Molly added.

“Anyone?” Hayesworth asked.

“Well, maybe not anyone, but someone,” Ginnifer said. “Like, you know, one of us.”

“Or even both of us,” Molly put in.

“What?” Hayesworth asked.

“We’re here for you, if you want us,” Ginnifer said, gently playing her foot along Hayesworth’s arm under the water.

“And the Queen told you to…” he trailed off, unsure of what to say.

“To offer ourselves to you?” Molly offered.

“Uh, yeah,” Hayesworth said.

“Yeah, she made it a point to say that we were to see to all your needs, even you most basic, manly needs.”


“You can ask her yourself when you see her, if you’d like,” Ginnifer said, still playing her foot along Hayesworth’s arm.

“But until then, just let us know if we can help you,” Molly added.

“By washing me?” Hayesworth asked.

“If that’s what you’d like.”

Hayesworth glanced between the two girls once, gave a little mental shrug, then nodded. “Sure, I’d like that.”

Both girls smiled like Cheshire cats, and as Hayesworth tried to settle back into the bathwater, the two Ladies in Waiting slid out of their robes. Naked, they slid into the water beside the surprised guard, grabbing wash cloths as they went. Molly reached for soap while Ginnifer started to soak Hayesworth’s arms, which had yet to go beneath the surface of the water.

As Ginnifer allowed the warm water to slide down over Hayesworth’s shoulders and upper arms, Molly was working up a lather with the soap and her own wash cloth. When Ginnifer had finished wetting down all of Hayesworth’s skin above the waterline, Molly moved in with the soap, running her cloth firmly but gently across his skin, back and forth to generate a lather. Hayesworth closed his eyes and let out an easy sigh as quietly as he could. This, this felt good. Better than he had in a long time. Here were two young, nubile, naked women, caressing his body, washing away all the dirty and grime he’d accumulated, and practically massaging his skin back into a shape it hadn’t been in for years.

As if thinking that thought made it happen, Ginnifer climbed out of the water, and sat behind Hayesworth, dipping her feet in behind him on either side now. Before he could ask what she was doing, she started to knead the flesh of his shoulders through the soap and water Molly had left behind. Hayesworth felt his neck go weak as Ginnifer massaged his back and neck like a pro – he’d had professional masseuses give his neck less attention than this.

While Ginnifer worked, Molly had moved around to Hayesworth’s front, and was now washing circles around his chest, lathering up his front quite a bit, while fondling his chest with her free hand. Hayesworth knew what the young girl was doing, but said nothing. Let her feel him up, he figured. What could it hurt? And if what the girls said was true, and Natalie had sent them to see to his every need…

As that thought crossed his mind, a new part of his body came alive, growing beneath the water. He sighed as Molly dipped her hands under the waterline to run the cloth over his lower chest, worried for a moment that she’d discover his looming erection, but the teen merely washed his sides before returning her hands above the water.

“You two wash the Queen like this?” Hayesworth asked, trying to think of something other than Molly’s young, naked body pressing against his skin.

“Every day,” Ginnifer said, still kneading his flesh from behind. “Push away from the wall please.”

“W-what?” Hayesworth asked, surprised.

“Push away from the wall,” Molly echoed her fellow Lady in Waiting. “We need to wash your back.” The way she said that last, with a twinkle of lusty mischief in her eyes, made it clear to Hayesworth that while his body might be clean when he left this bath, his thoughts would most certainly be dirty.

Still, he stood up, pulling more of his chest out of the water, and took three quick steps into the middle of the pool – the bath was far too large to be called a tub, set into the very floor as it was. As he moved, Ginnifer slid off the side and entered the water again, still keeping her hands on his shoulders, though now they were above her as Hayesworth was a couple of full inches taller. So, to compensate, she moved her fingers lower, working under the water at the small of his back.

“When you’re clean, we’ll have to get you to a proper massage table,” She said, her voice a husky whisper in his ear.

“But not before you’re clean,” Molly added.

“Of course not,” Hayesworth said, smiling at the young girl. She blushed again, her cheeks almost as red as her hair. It was a good look on her, and Hayesworth felt his erection move of it’s own accord at the sight.

“You are just filled with stress back here,” Ginnifer said, tempering her fingers along Hayesworth’s spine.

“I have a stressful job.”

“Then we’ll just have to get all that stress out of you,” Molly said, her hands dipping down to his stomach, running her washcloth across it. For half a second, it tickled, but then Molly drew closer to his crotch, and he reflexively flinched away.

“Oh!” Molly said, laughter in her voice and eyes. “Is there something down here that needs some extra special cleaning?”

“You don’t have to-”

“We want to,” Ginnifer said, again whispering in his ear. As she spoke, her hands danced down onto Hayesworth’s ass, gripping the cheeks playfully for a moment. Hayesworth flinched forward, and his cock landed right in the waiting hands of Molly Quinn.

Hayesworth gasped, but Molly gently wrapped his manhood with her washcloth and stroked it, as if cleaning it under the water. Behind him, Ginnifer’s hands were back on his ass, kneading the flesh there like she was making bread, her lips lingering near his neck so close that he could feel her breath on his skin.

It was only then that he realized that both girls were stark naked. He could feel Ginnifer’s bare breasts pressed against his back now, and as he looked down at Molly, he saw past her red hair and smiling face to her breasts, floating just below the water, the nipples erect and playfully bobbing up and down in the water as she stroked his cock.

He swallowed hard, and hoped like hell that the two girls were telling the truth about Natalie sending them to him. Otherwise, he was going to be in some Royal trouble later.

“You’re here to see to all my needs?” He asked carefully.

“Yes,” Molly said, standing on her tiptoes to allow her tits to rise above the water, rivulets of the soapy bath rolling down off her skin.

“Is there something else we can do for you?” Ginnifer asked from behind him, her hands moving around his waist to rest at the base of his cock. Now both girls were stroking him, although gently, and each could claim they were only cleaning or massaging him.

“T-there is,” Hayesworth said, unable to take his eyes off of Molly’s breasts.

“What?” the young redhead asked, innocently.

“I have a need,” he said, moving his hands for the first time since getting in the bath.

“A need for what?” Ginnifer asked in his ear.

“You,” Hayesworth said, grabbing Molly by the shoulders and pulling her naked body to him. As he did so, he turned his head towards the sound of Ginnifer’s voice, and catching her by surprise, planted a hungry kiss on her lips. As the kiss broke, both girls cried out and giggled aloud.

They’d broken him, and now he was theirs to do with as they pleased.

Until the Queen showed up anyway.

* * *

The Queen’s Council for the morning had been tedious, and it was already only an hour in, with many more reports to come. Still, Queen Natalie sat through them all, feeling much better after her medically assisted rest and knowing that when it came time for her to call a recess, no one would argue with her, after what had happened the night before.

As she sat through a report from Intelligence Chief Robert Duncan McNeill about the current affairs of all neighboring Kingdoms around Port, the Queen spotted Stana Katic approaching slyly from the back of her newly increased retinue of guards. She held up a hand to silence McNeill for a moment, and motioned for Stana to approach.

“Well?” The queen whispered as Stana drew close.

“He’s finally given in, My Queen,” Stana whispered back. “He’s doing both girls as we speak.”

“Good,” Natalie smiled. Michael deserved a reward for all he’d done for her, and Natalie had seen how her two Ladies in Waiting salivated over him. The only real problem there was getting Hayesworth to give in to the two hungry girls, who he’d ignored almost completely since taking the job – of course, he was in love with the Queen, so his ignorance of them was to be expected. And, truth be told, Natalie had been ignoring them somewhat, too – her own lusts were being met by Hayesworth, but the two Ladies in Waiting were there to attend to her needs, including her sexual ones.

The Queen preferred men. Strong, handsome men like Hayesworth, or that Lambert fellow she’d sent to his death aboard the Rusted Idol – a shame she hadn’t been able to take advantage of him once or twice before sending him off, but he deserved his fate. And she had Michael, who more than met her needs. But Natalie had enjoyed women in the past, before becoming Queen. And while they weren’t her first choice of bed partners, she’d never turned a woman down before. As an unmarried Queen, it was expected of her to use her Ladies in Waiting to meet those needs, instead of fucking the head of her Royal Guard. So far, Natalie had flouted that tradition, and she worried that her Ladies in Waiting would grow jealous. By letting them have Hayesworth themselves every now and then, Natalie could kill two birds with one stone. Maybe, just maybe, one of the girls would get pregnant by him – that would be the perfect cover for the Queen to keep her illicit relationship with Hayesworth, if he was the father of one of her Ladies’ child, he would be expected to spend his nights close to the Royal Chambers.

“Thank you, Sergeant,” Natalie told Katic in a whisper. “Please inform me when another half hour has passed. I should like to visit the baths myself then.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Stana said, saluting smartly before marching off back behind the rest of the guards.

Yes, it was good to be Queen some days.

“You may continue, Chief McNeill,” she said, smiling despite herself.

* * *

“I’ve never been with a man before,” Molly Quinn said, innocently just moments before Hayesworth lowered her wet, naked body onto his rock hard cock.

“W-what?” he croaked, trying to speak past the flurry of kisses Ginnifer Goodwin was layering upon him. They were out of the water, all pretense of cleaning gone now, though Hayesworth’s knees still dangled over the edge of the pool, his feet in the warm water.

“I’m a Virgin,” she said. “I just thought you should know.”

“Should I stop?” Hayesworth asked.

“No!” Ginnifer said. “She wants you to be her first.”

Hayesworth shot Molly a look, but she nodded quickly. “I do,” she said.

“You’re sure?”

To answer that, Molly laid down on the floor and spread her legs wide. “I’m sure.

Carefully, Hayesworth climbed in-between Molly’s legs, marveling at the tiny patch of red hair that marked her as having some Caradnor blood in her. Carefully, he placed his fully erect cock at the entrance to her pussy, then looked at her one more time.

“This could hurt,” he said.

“It will,” Ginnifer said, suddenly appearing beside them. For a second, Hayesworth thought she was going to stop them, but instead she gently kissed him, then kissed Molly a little more passionately, and took the younger girl’s hand. “I’ve got you,” she told her fellow Lady in Waiting.

“Thanks,” Molly whispered, then turned back to the guard hovering above her. “I’m ready.”

Gently, but firmly, Hayesworth started to ease his way into the young girl – he had to remind himself that while only 16, she could’ve easily been married off years ago, and her body was certainly that of a full-grown woman. She stiffened a bit as he entered, and then went rigid as his cock head found her inner wall, the one that marked her as a virgin. Hayesworth paused for a long moment, letting her get used to the sensation of him inside her, and to steel herself for the pain to come. Then, when she nodded at him, he quickly pushed his way inside.

“Aaah!” Molly gasped, grimacing. She squeezed Ginnifer’s hand tightly. Hayesworth stopped where he was, again letting her get used to his manhood inside her.

“Give it a moment, just a moment,” Ginnifer said, stroking Molly’s red hair. “You’ll be fine.”

Molly smiled up at her. “Told you I could get him before you,” she said.

“You little bitch,” Ginnifer said, swatting Molly on the arm. She turned to Hayesworth and scowled. “Well, what are you waiting for? Fuck her, for cryin’ out loud!”

Hayesworth shot a look at Molly, who nodded towards him, and he started moving in and out of the girl again.

“Oh!” She gasped. He almost stopped, but she begged him to keep going.

“Please,” she said. “Please, fuck me. Be my first!”

That phrase set Hayesworth off – Molly wasn’t the first virgin he’d had, but she was the first who was begging him to take her virginity. And as much as he hated himself for thinking it, that was a major turn on for him.

So he started fucking her. Slowly at first, but with building intensity. She was clearly in pain to start with, but slowly came through, and after a few minutes, and with some gentle coaxing from Ginnifer, Molly was clearly starting to enjoy her deflowering. Hayesworth took one of her breasts in each hand and groped them as he fucked, allowing himself to revel in the tightness of the young Lady, forgetting all the various problems that came with what he was doing. At this point, he was just enjoying the sex.

Molly must have been enjoying the sex, too, because she started to moan in pleasure a moment later, her arms coming up to grip Hayesworth by the shoulders. Her hips started to meet his with every thrust, and she kept licking her lips, as if she couldn’t keep them wet, despite the moisture in the bath room.

“She’s getting close,” Ginnifer said.

“How do you-” Hayesworth caught himself too late.

“We’ve fucked,” Ginnifer said, kissing Molly again real quick, before throwing him a wink. “She’s great at eating pussy.”

The image of Molly’s red-haired head between Ginnifer’s wide open legs was enough to start Hayesworth down to road to his own orgasm. He sped up his thrusts and gripped Molly’s waist.

“I’m close,” he managed to get out.

“Cum inside me,” Molly begged. “Please!”

Hayesworth wasn’t sure he would be able to pull out in time anyway, but he was glad to hear her say that – it meant that when he shot his load mere seconds later, he didn’t have to feel guilty about filling the young girl’s womb with his seed.

“Oh, fuck,” he moaned as the pleasure of his climax washed over him, relaxing him at another level that the bath and massage hadn’t reached yet.

“Wow,” Molly said moments later, when he came around enough to realize he was still inside her. “It’s so warm,” she said, sounding surprised.

“Yeah, manseed can be pretty hot some times,” Ginnifer said, pulling Hayesworth slowly off the other girl. “In more ways than one,” she said, winking at him.

“Are you okay?” Hayesworth asked.

“Okay?” Molly responded. “I’m wonderful! That was wonderful! I mean, it hurt at first, but I always knew it would – that’s what they all say. But the feeling of you inside me was wonderful, just wonderful. You were even more wonderful than I thought you’d be. Am I saying wonderful too much?”

“A bit, sweetie,” Ginnifer said. “Why don’t you lay back and rest for a minute, while I see if our hero here can get his sword back to fighting trim again?”

“W-what?” Hayesworth asked as Ginnifer laid him back on the ground again.

“My turn, hero,” Ginnifer said, dropping her head down to his naked crotch. She came up short when she saw the blood on his cock – he had just taken Molly’s virginity, after all.

“Maybe I should clean that off first-” He started to say, but she smiled at him.

“I’ll do it,” she said, reaching for one of the wash cloths. “Get back into the bath, please.”

Hayesworth followed directions and slid his body back into the blissfully warm water of the baths. Ginnifer slid her naked body in beside him, wash cloth and soap in hand. Off to the side, Molly sat up and hugged her knees to her bare chest, but made no move to join them, content to watch.

Ginnifer immediately moved to wash Hayesworth’s cock, using soap, hot water, and her tender finger work to get the blood of Molly’s innocence off of him without mistreating his flaccid penis. As she did so, his own blood returned to his manhood, swelling it again, which also made the job of cleaning it easier for Ginnifer.

“I so want this inside me,” she said as she lightly washed the underside of it. “Will you fuck me with this when we’re done?”

“Well, it clearly needs more attention,” Hayesworth said with a smile. “And you seem like the best person to attend to those needs right now.”

“I was hoping you’d say that,” Ginnifer said, standing up on her tip-toes to give him a kiss on the cheek. “I promise you’ll love it.”

“If you insist,” Hayesworth said.

In response, and to Hayesworth’s utter surprise, Ginnifer dove down beneath the water. Before he could so much as take a step backwards, he felt her mouth wrap around his now-clean cock, her tongue playing along the underside of it and making the reanimated shaft come to full attention again.

Ginnifer’s mouth was almost as tight as Molly’s virginal pussy had been, and had the added benefit of having a talented, experienced tongue inside it, capable of twisting and sliding up and down Hayesworth in ways only a woman’s tongue could. The fact that she was underwater, doing all this while holding her breath and keeping herself from floating up to the surface again was amazing.

Hayesworth had doubted earlier if he’d be able to reclaim enough strength to fuck Ginnifer in the way she so clearly wanted. Now he was wondering if fucking the second Lady in Waiting would be enough to sate HIS needs.

The underwater blowjob ended moments later, as Ginnifer reached the limit of her ability to hold her breath, and she came splashing up out of the water, her hair plastered to her head and face, rivulets of the mildly soapy water cascading down her perfect breasts and skin like torrents of rain. If Hayesworth hadn’t already been turned on, the sight of Ginnifer rising from the bath like a water nymph would’ve been more than enough to get him going. That she was as eager to feel his cock inside her as he was to slam it into her only added to the appeal.

Ginnifer was still gasping for breath when Hayesworth grabbed her and pulled her to him, splashing the water between them.

“Oh my!” She cried out as he pulled her to him and kissed her hard. She responded at once, kissing him back and wrapping her arms around him in order to grab his ass, a cheek in each hand. His erection was trapped between their bodies now, throbbing against the wet skin of her stomach, clearly wishing to be a few inches lower inside her pussy, but neither of them moved to break the kiss. Their tongues tangled amid their mouths, and his hands ran up into her wet hair, pulling her closer to him.

“Wow,” Molly said from the sidelines. “That’s so hot.”

That broke the kiss, and both Hayesworth and Ginnifer found themselves laughing at the younger girl’s statement. When their laughter died away, however, they were both still ready to go at it. And now there was no excuse.

Hayesworth leapt for her, taking the Lady Goodwin and spinning her around, pushing her towards the stairs leading into the far side of the bathing pool. Once there, in shallower water, he bent her slightly at the waist, and rammed his stiff cock into her from behind, penetrating her pussy like a thrown spear hitting it’s target.

“Oh, fuck, YES!” Ginnifer cried out as he entered her – no pain for her, as she’d had more than a few cocks in her lifetime. “Fuck, yes, Michael,” she said, using his name for the first time. “Fuck me, fuck me hard!”

And he did.

He had gone slow and steady with Molly, not really going at her even as he approached his orgasm, but he needed hold himself back with Ginnifer. Fucking her like rutting animals, Hayesworth slammed his cock into her again and again. She grabbed the stairs for support, and the two of them churned up the water like angry fish drawn to fresh meat. Neither one of the lovers seemed to care.

They were still going at it a few minutes later when a new voice spoke up in the bath.

“They seem to be enjoying themselves.”

Molly spun around, making no effort to hide her own nudity, and saw Queen Natalie Portman herself enter the bath, already tugging at her robes.

“My Queen!” Molly said, surprised.

THAT brought an end to the fucking in the bath, as both Hayesworth and Ginnifer broke off what they were doing and spun to bow towards their ruler.

“As you were,” Natalie said, smiling. “Molly can help me undress – I find I’m suddenly in need of a mid-day bath.”

“My Queen, are you-” Hayesworth started to say, but she cut him off with a wave. Molly was already on her feet and fighting to get the laces and hooks of the Queen’s robes undone.

“Have you enjoyed this special treat, my love?” she asked him, smiling warmly.

He blushed, a remarkable sight on the usually stoic Captain of the Guard. “Yes, my Queen, I have.”

“Then continue to enjoy it. Finish with Ginnifer, but save some strength for me. When young Molly and I have finished, I shall be coming for you.”

“You’re joining us?” Molly asked, a look of surprise on her face.

“I have been neglecting my sexual needs of late – at least, officially,” she said, winking at the young redhead. “As my two Ladies in Waiting, I expect you and Ginnifer to help me meet those needs. That my most trusted guard is in the room as well is just a requirement the most recent attempt on my life has forced upon us.” Natalie smiled at all three in turn. “Now, are you going to get me naked, or not?”

Molly redoubled her efforts to get the Queen undressed, and Hayesworth finished fucking Ginnifer, blowing a massive load into her pussy from behind just before the Queen started to come down the steps into the pool, clad in all her naked glory.

Queen Natalie glided into the warm bath water, young Molly trailing in her wake, making her way directly over to her lover. Hayesworth stood up, leaning back against the side of the pool a bit to catch his breath. Ginnifer stood up beside him, water once again dripping down off her boobs. The four joined together where Hayesworth stood, the Queen pulling him into an embrace and a deep kiss.

No one said a word for ages, as the two Ladies in Waiting began rubbing and fondling the Queen and her guard, who were linked at the hip, slowly fucking each other amid the water and the ministrations of the other women. Eventually, they made their way to the side of the tub again, and as Hayesworth laid on his back, the Queen rode him like a stallion, her two loyal Ladies in Waiting servicing her tits as she did so.

The afternoon was half over before any of them left the bath, and Hayesworth had shot his seed into all three women more than once. All four left sexually content and happy, though Hayesworth still worried about the assassins sent against the Queen.

He was certain they would attempt to strike again.

* * *

Isla Sorna hadn’t belonged to any particular Kingdom for more than five hundred years, since it was settled by the shipwrecked crews of a merchantman and some Berber Sailors. The crews had been shipwrecked together for more than five years before they were discovered by a Port vessel, which itself had run afoul of bad weather and come in search of shelter. The community that had grown there in that time had no desire to leave, and so it became a regular layover for far traveling ships from all four corners of the known world.

Over time, the community had changed, and grown, until it survived almost entirely on the passing ships, which eventually lead to the unique status Isla Sorna held today. A completely independent community on the seas, surviving on the money made off ships laying over in it’s harbor.

The Rusted Idol sailed into the main harbor of Isla Sorna, and was at once met by the ringing of bells, announcing a new arrival. There were easily two dozen smaller ships already amidst the docks, and one more ship wouldn’t be noticed, even one the size of a Port Frigate. The locals would be mostly just happy for a chance to get and the purse strings of the Idol’s crew.

“Isla Sorna,” Captain Clarkson muttered as the Idol slowed and laid anchor. “You’ll never find a more retched hive of scum and villainy. We should be careful.”

“Uh, excuse me?” Demi Lovato spoke up from behind the Captain. “Wouldn’t the Pirate Base we’re looking for be even MORE retched and have even MORE scum and villainy?”

“What?” The captain asked, spinning around to look at the little girl.

“I mean, the place will be filled with Pirates, right? I would think that would make it much worse than this little island.” The young woman paused. “But, then again, the Pirate base also has a Princess – ours. This place probably doesn’t even have any royalty at all.”

“Demi?” Selena Gomez said, looking at her friend and frequent lover. “Maybe you should just shut up now.”

Looking Sheepish, Demi slinked further back into the crowd. “Maybe I should.”

“We’ll split up into two groups,” Clarkson said, turning towards Commander Lambert and ignoring the two little girls trying to hide behind the rest of the group. “You take McPhee and Pickler and check out the Brothels. I’ll take Doctor Underwood and Sparks, and we’ll investigate the bars. We’ll leave the rest of the crew to watch the ship.”

“What about those two?” Lambert asked, jerking his thumb towards Gomez and Lovato. “You really think they’ll stay with the ship?”

Clarkson frowned. “No, you’re right – they’ll be off getting into trouble as soon as our backs are turned. We better bring them with us.”

“You’re welcome to them, Captain,” Lambert muttered.

“Oh, no. I’m not taking them both – that’s just asking for trouble. Pick one, I’ll take the other.”

“Fine, I’ll take Lovato.”

“Damn it, I knew you’d take her,” Clarkson muttered.

“You want me to take Gomez into a bunch of Brothels?”

“No,” Clarkson admitted. “She’d be turning tricks five minutes in.” The captain sighed. “Fine, I’ll take her with me to the bars – if she get’s drunk, at least her pants will stay on.”

“I wouldn’t count on that,” Lambert muttered.

* * *

“I’m so excited – I’ve never been to a Brothel before,” Demi Lovato said a half hour later, as Lambert lead his team into the first likely spot to find a disgraced pirate – hopefully one who’d be willing to lead them to the Pirate Queen and the kidnapped Princess Miley.

“Why do they call them Brothels?” Kellie Pickler asked as the group walked up to a rusty looking door that had clearly seen better days. “You can’t get broth here, can you?”

“Pickle, Sweetie, just be quiet,” Katharine McPhee said.

“Why DO they call them brothels?” Demi Lovato asked.

“Don’t know, don’t care,” Lambert said. He opened the door to find a grimy looking man standing there.

“Uh, hi!” Pickler said, surprised. “Do you have any pirates in your Brothel?”

“Got girls who’ll dress like pirates,” the man said.

“No, real pirates,” Lambert said, stepping in front of Pickler.

“Pirate whores? No.”

“No, real Pirates.”

“We got Butt Pirates out back,” he said, giving Lambert a suspicious look. “If you’re into that sort of-”

“No!” Lambert said quickly. “We’re looking for actual Pirates.”

“As customers,” Kat McPhee added quickly.

“Yes!” Lambert said. “Do you have any Pirates as customers right now?”

“Don’t know, don’t care,” the man said.

“Can we go in and look?” Demi Lovato asked.

“Sure – buy a girl – EACH – and you can go in all you want.”

“EACH?!” Lambert shouted, shocked.

“Yeah, each. Take it or leave it.”

Lambert scowled, but turned around. “We’re leaving,” he muttered.

“But we’ll be back!” Demi said defiantly.

“No, we won’t,” Lambert snarled, grabbing the girl by the scruff of her collar and yanking her after him.

“Maybe the next place will have broth,” Kellie Pickler said as they walked away.

* * *

“No Pirates yet?” Captain Clarkson asked over the noise of the fourth bar her group had entered so far. They’d struck out at the previous three, and it was getting harder to understand why – Clarkson had never heard of Isla Sorna being without at least a shipload of pirates somewhere, half of them disgraced or as close to retirement as Pirates get. She’d honestly expected to find one by now.

“No, but I did have two different Vikings offer to buy me some mead,” Dr. Underwood replied.

“You’re blonde, Vikings love you.”

“They do – too much” Underwood complained. “Where are the others?”

“Sparks is getting free drinks over by the bar, and I locked Selena in the closet.”

“Oh,” Underwood said. “Wait, what?”

“She’s using her boobs – Sparks has got a set of melons on her that could float a Ship of the Line. Men are buying her drinks left and right.”

“No, no – about Selena.”

“Oh,” Clarkson said, shaking her head. “I locked her in the closet over there. She was trying to seduce the bar tender.”

“You’re kidding.”

“I wish.”

Underwood sighed, gripping her temples. “Maybe it’s time we moved on to another bar,” she suggested.

“Maybe,” Clarkson agreed, scanning the crowd one last time. Outside of a fair number of Vikings, she couldn’t see anything that would distinguish this bar from any bar in Port or anywhere else in all of Celebria. And not one Pirate to be found. “I’ll go let Selena out of the closet.”

“I’ll go get Sparks – hopefully, she’s not drunk yet.”

“Wish I was,” Clarkson muttered.

* * *

“Could we get some broth while we wait?” Kellie Pickler asked as she and Commander Lambert sat down in the waiting area of one of the more up-class brothels on Isla Sorna. Up-class being subjective. This place at least had different rooms for waiting and fucking, and the chairs they were sitting in didn’t look like someone had thrown up all over them. Yet.

“I’ll see if we have any, sweetheart,” the scantily clad female greeter told her before walking off.

“Would you shut up about the broth already?” Lambert asked when they were alone.

“When we get home and are out of the Fleet, I’m going to open a brothel that serves real broth while you wait for your whore. Think how awesome that would be?!”

Lambert shot her a look, but decided not to say anything. Pickler was either way dumber than she acted, or way smarter than she acted, and he didn’t want to spend time thinking about which was the case.

This current idea belonged to Katharine McPhee, who came up with it after they were turned away from six consecutive whore houses without even getting inside. McPhee had suggested that one of the girls pose as a whore looking to be hired. Once inside the premises, Lambert would come in looking for a very specific whore – the plant – and “buy” her time. The plan wasn’t a bad one, save that it still required Lambert to buy a whore, and that all three girls couldn’t do it all at once. Still, it was the only idea any of them had come up with so far, so they went with it.

McPhee had taken Demi with her on the first run, to serve as a lookout, leaving Pickler behind with Lambert to act like they were a couple looking to spice up their lovemaking. Lambert and Pickler had given her fifteen minutes – which had stretched well past half an hour that they wasted trying to convince the bouncer at the door that they were, indeed, interesting in sharing a girl, and come in looking for her.

Right away, however, things went wrong. McPhee came out looking for them before the scantily clad girl who’d taken their order could possibly have found her. “Okay,” she said without preamble. “Don’t get mad, but we have a problem.”

Lambert felt his temples pound. “What?”

“They didn’t want me as a whore – too many brunettes already.”

“Aww. I’m sorry, sweetie,” Pickler said, standing up to hug her lover. “I still love you.”

Lambert wasn’t as forgiving. “You’re kidding,” he said.

“It gets worse,” McPhee said.

“Oh, no.”

“Oh, yes.”

“What?” he asked.

“They wanted Demi.”

“Demi?!” Lambert shouted.

“That’s ridiculous, sweetie – Demi’s a brunette too,” Pickler said.

Lambert and McPhee ignored the blonde. “What on earth did they want her for?” he demanded.

“They had a client who thought she was cute – she accepted before I could stop her.”

“Has she even been with a man before? Or just Selena?” Kellie asked.

Lambert suddenly had a horrid vision of Captain Clarkson gutting him for getting Demi turned into a whore. “All right,” he said. “We’ve got to go in and get her.”

“That could be hard,” McPhee said.


“They took her downstairs.”

“What’s downstairs?”

* * *

Demi Lovato was alone on the bed, naked save for a strategically placed blanket that smelled like it had been in this room since before Demi had been born. She would have removed it, were her hands not tied directly over her head, held in place with heavy chains, the key to which sat on a peg far across the room.

“Selena will never believe this,” Demi mused. She had always thought that one of her best traits was that she could find something humorous in every situation. This situation, however, was difficult to find humor in, now that she was alone. Demi had never been chained to a bed before, and this wasn’t exactly drawing her to repeating the process again in the future.

As Demi tried again to adjust her position into something more comfortable without letting the blanket slide off her body, the door to the room opened and a beautiful woman with shoulder length red hair entered. Clad only in a silken black robe, the woman walked right over to Demi and pulled off the blanket.

“Oh, very nice. Very nice indeed. Lovely little teenage breasts,” the redhead said, reaching down to fondle one of Demi’s tits. “You’ll do just fine.”

“Ah, I’m sorry,” Demi said, blushing a bit. “Are you my client?”

“Client?” the redhead said. “You think you’re going to be paid for this?”

“Well, I thought that was how being a whore worked,” Demi said, crossing her legs to hide her bare crotch.

“Silly girl – you’re never leaving this room again.”

“No, no,” Demi said, getting worried. “That’s not how this is supposed to go. I’m supposed to sleep with you, get some money, hopefully find a talkative Pirate or two we can get to lead us to-”

“Well, you got the sleeping with someone part right,” the Redhead said, dropping her robe to reveal her extremely attractive body. “But then you’re going to die. That’s how I relax, and I really need to relax today. It’s nothing personal.”

“Seems kinda personal to me,” Demi said, squirming as the redhead climbed onto her body and began to suck on her naked nipples.

* * *

“Vikings?” Lambert muttered. “What are Vikings doing here?”

“Getting laid?” Kat McPhee asked.

“Or maybe they know where to get broth,” Kellie Pickler added.

“Not helping, either one of you,” Lambert snapped. “I meant, what are they doing standing outside the door downstairs? Viking Territory is a long way from Isla Sorna.”

“Vikings have been traveling the seas longer than even Port has been,” Kat said. “They must know about Isla Sorna.”

“I’m not saying they don’t know about – I’m wondering why they seem to be guarding Demi’s door instead of going inside to have her.”

“Maybe the Viking leader is in there with Demi,” McPhee said.

“Could be,” Lambert said. “And in that case, this could be more troublesome than we thought – the last thing we need now is a running battle with angry Vikings while trying to hunt down the Pirate Queen.”

“Maybe that’s not the Viking leader in there,” Pickler suggested. “Maybe that’s some beautiful local woman who hired the Vikings to protect her while she explores her sexuality in secret with a gorgeous young whore no one’s ever seen before.”

Both Lambert and McPhee looked at her for a long moment. She looked at them with a hopefully look, but the other two just rolled their eyes and ignored her again.

“So, how do we avoid a running battle with Vikings?” McPhee asked, turning back to Lambert.

“Well, we either distract the Vikings guarding the door long enough to get Demi out, or we kill them as quickly as we can, get Demi out, and hope no one else sees us do it.”

“I don’t like either plan,” McPhee said.

“Me either, but we don’t have time for another one. You two think you can distract two burly Vikings?”

“We do have tits,” Pickler spoke up. “Those are usually pretty good at distracting men.”

“I don’t want to have to rescue you two after I rescue Demi,” Lambert said.

“Then I guess you’d better kill them,” McPhee said.

Lambet sighed. “All right, I don’t see another option. I’ll kill the Vikings, you get the door opened.”

“What about me?” Pickler asked.

“Kellie, sweetie, you watch the door up here,” Katharine said. “Don’t let anyone else down here.”

“Right,” Picker said.

Lambert took one last look around the corner, seeing the two inattentive Vikings standing at the door in the basement, chatting with each other casually in their strange Viking tongue. They didn’t so much as glance up towards him. He glanced back at McPhee and smiled.

“Take your top off,” he said, reaching into his boot to pull out the small dagger he kept sheathed there.

“What?” Katharine asked.

“Your top, take it off. You’re going to be my whore after all.”

“Wait, you guys get to have sex while I watch a door?” Kellie Pickler said, pouting. “No fair!”

* * *

“I would drink mead right off your tits.”

“Aww, you’re sweet. You sure you haven’t seen any Pirates around?” Jordin Sparks asked the very drunk man who was practically drooling over her tits.

“Nah, ain’t been any Pirates on Isla Sorna for six months. They all pulled out and left.”

“Why?” Jordin asked.

“Who knows?” the drunk man said. “Now, if you’d like, I gotta room at the hostel two streets over. We can go there and I can show you what I can do with my-”

“That’s okay,” Captain Clarkson said, grabbing Jordin by the arm and rescuing her from the drunkard. “She’s got a place to sleep tonight.”

“Thanks, Captain,” Jordin said as the two walked away into the crowded bar. “He did mention that the Pirates all pulled out about six months ago.”

“Yeah, I got a similar story from the two whores working the stairs. There hasn’t been a Pirate Ship in the Harbor in at least that long.”

“That seems odd – Pirates are just as welcome here as anyone else. They even let Vikings walk around like they own the place.”

“Maybe the Pirate Queen pulled all the Pirates together for the attack on Port,” Clarkson mused. “Still, that doesn’t seem right somehow.” The two stopped at the table nearest the door, where they’d agreed to meet with Dr. Underwood and Selena when they were done in this bar.

“You think the Pirates are gearing up for something else? More attacks?” Sparks asked.

“Pirates?!” A voice said from the table next to them. “Bah, the Pirates are runnin’,” an old man, clearly six sheets to the wind and with two full mugs of grog before him, a third in his hand and enough spilled on his shirt to account for a full forth.

“I’m sorry, this is a private conversation,” Captain Clarkson muttered at him.

“Don’t matter – you ain’t finding’ any Pirates on Isla Sorna. They’re all running. Getting as far away as they can!”

“Running from what?” Jordin asked.

“The Black Ships.”

“The what?” Clarkson asked, suspicious.

“They started showin’ up ‘bout a year ago. Giant black ships on the Horizon. All black wood, with black sails. Giant ships, larger than anything even Port has ever sailed,” The drunkard said. “Any ship that’s ever gotten closer than an on-the-horizon look at ‘em been sunk, their crews all killed.”

“If they’ve all been sunk and the crews dead, how do you know these black ships are responsible?”

“Bah!” the man said, then bleched. “’Tis beside the point. These ships, they say they’re crewed by ghosts and captained by demons.”

“You’ve got to be kidding,” Sparks said.

“Have you ever seen one of these ships?” Clarkson asked.

“Aye, on a Merchantman running out to the Island of Sapphos. Me an’ the rest of the men were stuck on the ship while the women ran the supplies ashore – ain’t no men allowed on Sapphos, you know.”

“I’ve been there,” Clarkson said quickly.

“Anyway, we was waiting there for the Captain and her women to return when one of these ships appeared on the horizon – Poor McFallow up in the Crow’s Nest nearly had a heart attack when he saw it. Damn thing was clearly heading for us, too. Thankfully, the Cap’n got back-” he paused long enough to burp again, “-and as soon as she saw it, she had us cast anchor and get out of there was fast as we could. She knew better than to let that demon ship get any closer.”

“You sure there’s more than one ship?” Sparks asked.

“Oh, aye – some people seen as many as six on the Horizon at the same time. Had a crew of Vikings in the other day, sayin’ they saw three of the damn things not far from their homeland.”

“That far north?” Sparks asked.

“Aye, and some others have seen ‘em as far South as the Berber lands in Af-Rui-Ka. The seas, they ain’t safe any more. If’n yer Smart, ye’d be heading east. Ain’t none of them ships seen yet in the Far Easternlands. Them Orients know how to cast out demons, they say.”

“We’ll have to keep that in mind,” Clarkson muttered. Carrie Underwood and Selena Gomez were approaching, Underwood’s hand firmly latched onto the younger girl’s shoulder.

“We need to go,” the Doctor said, shoving Selena at Sparks. “Before this one starts stealing drinks.”

Clarkson sighed. “All right, there’s a few more bars on this side of the island anyway we haven’t hit yet. Let’s go.”

* * *

The first Viking never saw what hit him. The two lovers stumbled down the stairs, the man clearly a bit drunk, the gorgeous brunette’s hair flying about, her shirt wide open to expose two extremely impressive tits. So intent on making out with each other, they almost missed the last stair and stumbled a bit as they reached the floor. Still, that didn’t stop the man from stuffing as much of the woman’s left breast into his mouth, nor her from reaching into the back of his pants to grope his ass.

The two Vikings watched, half expecting to get a free show – after all, where else would these two go? The only room downstairs was behind the guards, and they weren’t getting in there. So either they went upstairs to continue what they were doing, or they fucked right there on the floor. And they looked like they just might be willing to do it right there on the floor.

Then they stumbled past the Vikings, both guard’s eyes riveted on the naked breast flesh of the gorgeous young woman, and that was when the man struck.

Spinning away from his apparent lover, the man shoved a small dagger right into the throat of the first guard, yanking it free and leaping at the second before either one knew what happened. The first guard was already dead when he hit the floor, and by then the man was already plunging his dagger up under the breast plate of the second guard, right into his lung. As the Viking struggled to draw air, the man slashed his throat and dropped him to the ground.

“Can I put my shirt back on now?” Katharine McPhee asked.

“If you must,” Commander Jason Lambert replied. He raced over to the door, it’s guards now dead.

* * *

If the commotion outside could’ve been heard inside the room, Demi Lovato never heard it. Her head was buried deep between the creamy thighs of the redheaded woman, licking away as best she could while struggling to breathe. With Demi’s arms chained above her head, the woman had to sit oddly to get her crotch onto Demi’s face. Slipping her lean legs between Demi’s arms and sliding them under the shoulders, the woman was able to lower her crotch to Demi’s mouth while resting her ass on Demi’s chest. This added to Demi’s breathing issues.

Demi knew her way around a woman’s pussy – one didn’t bunk with Selena Gomez and not learn all the intimate details of cunnilingus. And while Demi could still count her female companions on one hand – Selena, Captain Clarkson, Doctor Underwood, and now this redheaded woman – she knew enough to know that every woman was different, and every different woman reacts differently to different things. The redheaded woman seemed to get off more on nearly suffocating Demi than on Demi’s lips or tongue on either her clit of her slit.

Still, Demi kept going – this woman was not someone you wanted mad at you, especially when she could smother you with her pussy.

“Good little slut,” the woman said, pushing her crotch down hard against Demi’s face. “Oh, you’re such a sweet little thing, aren’t you? Lick my pussy, slut. Lick it like your life depends on it!”

Demi licked like her life depended on it.

Suddenly, the redhead went stiff and twisted about above Demi. For a moment, the former street urchin wondered if perhaps she’d managed to get the woman off, but for the moment the only thing that mattered was that Demi could breathe through her nose again.

“Who the fuck are you? How’d you get past my guards?” the redhead demanded.

“Get off the girl,” Commander Lambert’s voice filled the room. Demi’s heart swelled! She was being rescued!

“Do you have any idea who I am?” the redhead said, climbing off of Demi’s head. Demi gasped for air through her mouth, looking up to find Lambert holding his sword at woman’s throat, and Kat McPhee rushing over to Demi.

“You okay?” McPhee asked.

“The key is on the wall,” Demi said, pointing with her toe. Lambert grabbed it with his free hand and tossed it to McPhee, who quickly undid the chains holding Demi to the bed.

“I could use some clothes,” Demi added, sitting up. “And maybe something warm to drink. Coffee. Soup. Broth, even.”

“SHUT UP ABOUT THE DAMN BROTH!!!” Lambert shouted. “Where are your clothes?”

“Upstairs somewhere,” Demi said.


“It’s worse than you think,” The redhead said. “You really don’t know who I am, do you?”

“Right now, you’re Naked Talky Lady who’s making my life troublesome,” Lambert said.

“I’m about to be Naked Talky Lady who’s going to make your life miserable – for what little of it you have left.”

“I think that’s a good cue for us to leave,” McPhee said, wrapping the old blanket around Demi and pushing her out the room.

“You don’t make an enemy of Dina Meyer and just get away like nothing happened.”

“Who’s Dina Meyer?” Demi asked.

“I am!” The redhead shouted.

“Oh,” Demi said. “Well, uh, sorry I couldn’t be the whore you wanted, but I think I’m going to leave with my friends now.”

“And don’t try and follow us,” Lambert said.

“You’d better run right for your ship, then, boy!” Dina said as Lambert backed out of the room. “’Cause there’s nowhere on this Island you can hide from me! You hear me? This whole place belongs to me!”

The three just ran up the stairs, grabbing Pickler as they went by.

* * *

“This is getting ridiculous,” Captain Clarkson muttered as she sat down at a table in yet another bar, Dr. Underwood and Midshipman Sparks already there waiting for her. “I’m beginning to think all the Pirates really did run off in fear of those black ships.”

“I don’t know – you’d think a Port ship would’ve spotted one of these mystery ships by now,” Carrie muttered. “I mean, one rumor I heard had those ships lurking around four years ago! If they’re really out there, some Fleet ship MUST have seen them by now.”

“Well, the Idol’s never been at the top of the list for prime intelligence,” Clarkson muttered.

“Hey, where’s Selena?” Jordin asked.

Clarkson felt her heart go cold. “She’s not with you guys?”

“We thought you were watching her,” Underwood said, standing up to look about the bar. The other two shot up, looking as well.

“Anyone see her?”

“Not yet,” Underwood replied.

“Damn it!” Clarkson swore. “Split up and search the bar. Find her before she gets into trouble.”

Suddenly, there was a crash on the far side of the room, and angry voices started shouting.

“Why do I think we’re already too late?” Sparks muttered.

* * *

The Viking stood up fast, sending the table crashing before him. Spinning around, he was already pulling out a wicked looking battle ax that still had blood stains on it from the last battle it had been in. Before him, a trio of shorter men – two crewers off a merchantman and a local town smuggler – also stood up, drawing various knives they had hidden on themselves. If they hadn’t already been angry, the fact that the Viking’s rapid ascent had spilled their drinks would’ve made them so – now it only added to their fury.

And standing just off to the side, holding out her hands in appeasement, stood little Selena Gomez, her uniform shirt open to expose her suckable teenaged tits. Her shirt was wet from where one of the Merchantmen had accidentally spilled grog all down the front – though if that was an accident, Selena was the Queen of Hollywoods – and until just a few minutes before, she’d been happily sitting on the laps of one of the men now getting ready to fight.

“Now, now, boys,” Selena said, trying to get between the armed men. “Let’s not fight over who spilled who’s drink – especially if it was me.”

The men all looked at her like she’d grown a second head.

“If you HAVE to fight over something, fight over how cute my butt is in these pants.”

With that, the Viking roared and swung his Ax, forcing Selena to duck to avoid it.

And just like that, the entire bar seemed to erupt into madness.

* * *

Kelly Clarkson ducked as a bottle of wine flew above her head, smashing into the face of the Viking running at her, his meaty fists ready to pummel the much smaller Port Captain. As he flew back, she found herself facing a nasty looking Berber warrior with two barbed knives, one in each hand.

“Little help!” the Captain hollered over her back as she used her forearm to block one of the Berber’s arms, then twisted out of the way of his other knife.

“Busy!” Underwood called back, smashing a discarded chair over the head of a pair of smugglers, one of which had been armed with a nasty looking little pistol.

“Sparks?” Clarkson called out.


The Captain leaned back to avoid a slash at her throat. “Quickly!” she hollered, landing a solid punch to the man’s face. He blinked once, then flashed her a smile filled with bloody teeth.

Suddenly his eyes rolled up into his head, and he fell to the floor, retching. Behind him, her leg coming down from a decidedly well placed kick to the groin, stood Jordin Sparks.

“Quick enough for you Captain?” she asked playfully.

“No,” Clarkson muttered, deadpan.

“Anyone seen Selena yet?” Underwood asked, popping up next to them.

“Over there!” Sparks yelled, pointing to where the teenager was standing up on a table in the corner, trying to use the discard leg of a bar stool to keep people from grabbing her and hauling her back down into the fight.

“Is her shirt open?” Underwood asked.

“She better hope we get to her before some of the creeps in this bar do,” Sparks muttered as the trio of Sailors attempted to move through the fight towards their young companion.

“She better hope some of those creeps get to her before I do,” Clarkson growled, punching a man in the nose hard enough to hear bone crack, dropping him out of her way.

* * *

Across the room, Selena Gomez was just starting to get scared. She’d just wanted to do a little harmless flirting, maybe score herself something strong to drink, and if the Captain and her cronies stayed away long enough, maybe even get laid quickly in the back. Unlike her friend and frequent bed partner, Demi Lovato, Selena craved cock just as much as she craved pussy, and this had been her best chance to get some in a long time.

But now things had gotten out of hand, and if Selena was going to get any today, it wasn’t going to be a friendly little fuck from some half-drunk merchantman with cute hair. No, any sex that happened to Selena now would be hard and nasty, rapey-type sex, and she wasn’t into that. Well, at least, not when she was the one getting raped.

“You look like you could use a hand,” a voice said, coming from beside Selena. She looked down from where she was perched atop a table to see a rough looking woman holding a nasty knife in an underhanded grip and wearing a pair of blood-colored pants and a vest that did very little to hide her ample cleavage, and very little else. She had almond colored skin and dark hair that she had pulled back in a severe ponytail, and as Selena watched, she cold cocked a Viking trying to get the drop on her.

“You could say that,” Selena said.

“C’mon, I’ll get you out of here,” the woman said.

“I’ve got friends looking for me,” Selena said, ducking as a stray bottle flew past her head to shatter against the wall.

“They can look for you outside.”

Selena ducked again, this time as a knife just barely missed her.

“They can look for me outside,” Selena agreed.

* * *

“I swear, she was just here!” Carrie Underwood cried over the noise of the growing riot.

“I saw her, too,” Clarkson muttered, kneeing a guy in the gut, then shoving him away from her. “Where’d she go?!”

“I think I just saw her go out the back door!” Jordin Sparks said, clubbing a dangerous looking woman over the head with a mug of ale, spilling the drink all over the woman as she collapsed to the floor.

“The back door? The front door’s right over there!” Clarkson screamed, elbowing a guy right in the throat, dropping him to the floor, struggling to breathe.

“I’m just telling you what I saw!” Sparks claimed.

“I’m going to string that little twerp up by her toenails and whip her ass so hard, she’ll never sit again…” Clarkson muttered as the trio started to fight their way back in the other direction.

* * *

The woman – who’d told Selena her name was Michelle Rodriguez – lead the young Port sailor through a back room, then out a small door in the side of the bar, which lead out into a small alley between the bar and whatever the building next to it was. Once there, Michelle pushed Selena roughly against the wall of the bar, and checked to see if they were being followed.

“Seems we got out unnoticed.”

“I hope my friends can find us,” Selena said, trying to rebutton her shirt finally.

“Don’t do that,” Michelle said.

“Don’t do what?”

“Don’t cover up.”

Selena looked down at her bare breasts. “Why?”

“Just don’t.” Michelle took Selena by the arm again and started pushing her down the ally, away from the front of the bar.

“Where are we going? I have to wait for-”

“We aren’t waiting,” Michelle said, shoving Selena harder.


“Just shut up and come with me,” Michelle said.

* * *

“Hurry up!” Carrie Underwood said as she and Captain Clarkson finally managed to get out the back door.

“Trying, but someone’s got my boobs!” Jordin Sparks cried out, trying to back out the door while a slobbering man had muckled on to the neckline of her uniform, a knife in his free hand.

“I got this,” Clarkson muttered, slamming the butt of his pistol into the man’s face, forcing him to drop back into the bar. He did manage to tear open the front of Jordin’s shirt as he fell, however, exposing her ample chocolate tits.

“Sorry,” the Captain muttered.

“Where’d she go now?” Underwood asked, looking back and forth down the ally.

“Check that way, I’ll go this way,” Clarkson said, rushing down the ally towards the far street. Underwood went the other way, leaving Sparks to mumble something about having to patch up her shirt when she got back to the ship.

Reaching the end of the ally, Kelly came to a dead stop and quickly glanced in both directions. As she did so, a man came flying through one of the windows, thrown from someone back inside the bar. Clarkson ducked away from the flying glass for a moment, then pointed her pistol at the man – only to see that he was out cold and not going anywhere any time soon.

“CAPTAIN!” Selena’s voice cut through the crowded street. Kelly spun to face away from the bar and saw Selena being dragged into another ally further up the street.

“Ally, six houses down!” Clarkson hollered back to Underwood and Sparks, who were running towards her now. They stopped, spun around, and headed back the way they came. Clarkson took off at a dead run, trying to catch up with Selena – who was clearly now in even more trouble than they’d first thought.

“I’m going to kick that girl’s ass all the way back to Port,” Clarkson muttered, breathing hard now. How long had she been fighting? And how long had it been since she’d run like this? She was going to have to start working out more often – assuming she survived this insane quest.

Kelly reached the corner where Selena had disappeared, skidding to a stop on the cobblestones before turning in and running down the ally.

Kelly made it just beyond the halfway point when she ran headlong into Carrie and Jordin, coming from the other direction.

“Did you pass any doors?” Kelly asked, knowing she hadn‘t.

“No,” Underwood said, looking about. “You sure this was the ally?”

“Not any more,” Clarkson muttered.

“SELENA?!” Jordin called out. “Selena, where are you?!”

“She wasn’t on her own – she was being dragged by someone,” Clarkson muttered.

“Typical – we lose sight of her for one minute, and that girl goes and starts a brawl, then gets kidnapped and disappears,” Sparks muttered.

“This is so not our day,” Clarkson muttered. “I hope the others are having better luck than we are.”

* * *

The musket shot bounced off the wall beside Lambert’s head, forcing him to duck back into the ally, cursing his luck, his crew, his life, and this whole stupid situation.

“Who knew when she said she owned this island that she really meant it?” Demi Lovato asked, still clutching the blanket around her otherwise naked body.

“Not helping,” Lambert muttered. “How the hell did we get into this mess, anyway?”

“Well,” Kellie Pickler spoke up, “We were looking for Pirates in brothels – and I was looking for some broth – and when we couldn’t find any-”

“Shut her up or so help me…” Lambert growled.

“Shutting her up,” Katharine McPhee said, placing a hand over Pickler’s mouth. “Quiet, Pickle.”

“Where is she getting all these Vikings? And how is she getting them to work for her? Vikings don’t work for ANYONE?!” Lambert cried. “Not even other Vikings!”

“Can we just get back to the ship?” Demi asked. “If we’re going to have to fight to the death, I’d like to be wearing pants. Or, you know, a shirt even. Something to cover my crotch.”

Two more shots ricocheted off the wall. “Move, move!” Lambert said, shoving the others back down the ally. “This is so not our day. I hope the others are having better luck than we are.”

* * *

“Listen, I really appreciate you saving me and all, and I get that you’re attracted to me – who isn’t? I’m a total babe – but, uh, I really do need to find my friends right now, and then we should probably run – oh, unless you know any pirates. We need to find a pirate.”

Michelle Rodriguez looked over at Selena Gomez and scowled. “Take off your pants or I’ll come rip them off you.”

“Oh, but these are my good pants!” Selena said. “They really make my butt look good.”

“Then take them off!” Rodriguez barked.

“All right, all right,” Selena muttered, undoing her belt and sliding her pants down her legs.

They were up on the second floor of a building, in a room barely furnished with a small bed, a chair, and a table, which ominously had a knife sticking up out of it. Selena didn’t know if this was where Michelle hung out, or if she’d broken in to escape Captain Clarkson and the others, but she was suddenly worried that she was going to need help to get out of here.

“Damn it, Demi, you’re never around when I need you,” Selena muttered, carefully folding her pants and laying them over the back of one of the chairs.

“Shirt, too,” Michelle growled, looking out the window, down to the street below. Selena got the distinct impression that she was watching Captain Clarkson and the others running back and forth looking for them. Michelle had actually been pretty clever, sneaking them into the building through a door literally hidden in the bricks of the ally wall, and then forcing Selena upstairs. But if this was just about raping her, Selena was starting to wonder why she hadn’t just gotten on with it already.

“So, uh, should I lay down on the bed, or what?” Selena asked as she stripped off her still-soaked shirt.

“Look under the bed,” Michelle demanded. “You’ll find a chest there.”

“Is it a treasure chest?” Selena asked, half joking.

“Just pull it out.”

“You have no sense of humor, you know that?” Selena muttered, reaching under the bed. Sure enough, there was a modest sized chest down there, complete with lock and chain upon it. She pulled it out and turned back towards Michelle, who was only now leaving the window to come over to Selena.

Without a word, Michelle dropped down to her knees and pulled out a chain from around her neck. On it was a small key, just the right size for the lock on the chest. With a quick flick of her wrist, Michelle unlocked it and returned the key to around her neck.

With almost a sense of reverence, Michelle opened the chest to reveal a strap-on dildo, almost pure white in color, and with a seemingly extra-detailed penis upon it. Made of polished ivory and with hempen rope for straps, it was different from any strap-on Selena had ever seen before – not that she’d seen many – and that somehow made it more special. And more frightening.

“Whoa, not what I was expecting,” the young sailor whispered.

“Lay down on the bed,” Michelle ordered, pulling out the strap-on out of the chest carefully, spreading the straps as she did so.

“Uh, listen, I can, uh, lick your pussy if you’d like, but I’d really rather not have that thing inside me just now. And, really, my friends are looking for me right now and-”

Michelle grabbed Selena’s discarded pants and chucked them violently across the room, sending them slapping against the window, where they half pushed open the glass before landing on the windowsill. “Lay on the bed, NOW!” Michelle ordered.

Selena gulped. “Okay. But, uh, can you please be gentle?” she asked.

Michelle merely glared at her.

Slowly, Selena got down on the bed, trying hard to think of a way out of this. Michelle didn’t give her much of a chance, strapping the leather around her waist as she approached the bed. “Don’t fight me, my little bitch, and you won’t get hurt.”

“I won’t fight,” Selena said carefully as Michelle climbed on top of the bed, hovering over Selena like a dark cloud.

“Too bad,” Michelle laughed. “I like hurting little girls like you.”

Selena’s eyes went wide, and at that moment, Michelle placed the head of the ivory dildo to Selena’s lower lips, and shoved inside.

* * *

It was Selena’s scream that alerted Captain Clarkson that she was still close by.

“Fuck, where is she?” Clarkson demanded, spinning about, looking across the street.

“You sure that was her?” Sparks asked, trying to catch her breath.

“That was her,” Kelly insisted.

“Wait, THERE!” Doctor Underwood cried out, pointing up at a house. Sure enough, a pair of pants were half hanging out of the window. There was no mistaking the fact that they belonged to the missing Selena Gomez.

The three women raced towards the front door of the place, crashing into it with all their might.

All three bounced right off.

“Locked, of course,” Carrie muttered as the three got back up on their feet.

“Try the windows!” Clarkson ordered.

“Didn’t we run past this house already?” Jordin muttered.

* * *

“Didn’t we run past this building already?” Demi Lovato asked as Commander Lambert shoved her bare ass behind a bunch of barrels.

“That’s what happens when you have to double back more than once,” Lambert complained, shoving Pickler in after her. “Keep your heads down and don’t move,” he told them.

“Now what?” Katharine McPhee asked, stopping next to him. They’d managed to avoid the small crowd of angry Vikings chasing after them so far, but the rowdy mob they’d stirred up so far could still be heard in the distance.

“You and I are going to go scout ahead, see if we can find a way back to the ship,” Lambert replied.

“If you find any pants along the way, please grab them,” Demi said quickly.

“I think you look cute without pants,” Kellie said, gently caressing Demi’s bare ass.

“Mind on task, Pickle,” Kat told her.

“Sorry,” Pickler said.

“For the love of might, you two just stay here and be quiet,” Lambert snarled. “C’mon,” he said, grabbing McPhee by the arm and dragging her off.

“What are we looking for?”

“Angry mobs, armed Vikings, and hopefully, a clear shot to the harbor,” Lambert said as the two eased around the corner of the building.

“What about Captain Clarkson and her group?”

“If we see them, we’ll get them – but it might be better for them if they weren’t seen with us – after all, the Vikings don’t know they’re with us.”

“Yet,” McPhee said.

“Yet,” Lambert agreed, a sour note in his voice.

* * *

Selena Gomez wasn’t a virgin – she’d slept with boys before, and regularly engaged in lesbian sex with Demi Lovato and other members of the Idol’s crew. And while boys weren’t her first choice, she had to admit that sometimes, it just felt right to have a cock pounding into her pussy.

Selena had even had the chance to have a woman fuck her with a dildo before, too, though that had been the more common lacquered wood version than this carved ivory beast that was now spreading Selena’s tight little pussy under Michelle Rodriguez’s continued fucking.

“Oww!” Selena cried out as Michelle roughly squeezed one of Sleena’s teenaged tits. “That hurt!”

“Shut up and take it like a slut,” Michelle hissed in Selena’s ear before returning to her fucking.

“Okay, I’m totally not a slut,” Selena said. A moment later, she gasped in pleasure as Michelle dropped her lips over nipple and began sucking. “Oh, fuck,” Selena moaned. “I’m such a slut.”

“Do you ever shut up?” Michelle demanded.

“Only when licking pussy?” Selena asked, hopefully. Michelle didn’t take the hint, and continued to brutally fuck Selena’s pussy with the ivory dildo.

“Your body is delicious,” Michelle said, licking Selena’s face. “I might have to keep you when I’m done with you?”

“Keep me?” Selena asked. “Can’t you just let me go?”

“You aren’t going anywhere, slut. You’re mine now.”

With that, Michelle flipped Selena over onto her stomach, and reentered her pussy from behind.

“Oh, Fuck,” Selena moaned, only partly in dismay.

* * *

It took a “borrowed” hammer from a near-by smithy to bash through one of the ground-floor windows – “what kind of glass IS this?” Sparks had asked – before Captain Clarkson could get inside the building where Selena’s pants were hanging out the top window. Moments later and four undone locks, the door was open and Dr. Underwood and Sparks were in, too. They each drew their swords, and then raced up the stairs.

“Fuck, Fuck, OH FUCK ME!” Selena screamed out as the trio reached the top of the stairs. Her cries – a mixture of pain and orgasmic pleasure – were coming from behind the only door at the top of the stairs. Carefully, Kelly edged forward and tried the handle. To her surprise, especially after the locked door downstairs, this one opened with a sight push.

All three women who burst into the room were not only acknowledged bisexuals, but they’d all at least fooled around a bit with little Selena Gomez at some point or another during their travels together. They’d known she was without her pants, and probably being raped from the sounds they’d heard earlier. Even with all that knowledge, all three stopped dead in their tracks, slack jawed, at what they saw on the bed before them.

Selena was pinned under a gorgeous woman with long dark hair, bronze skin, and a startlingly white dildo strapped between her legs, pounding into Selena’s sopping wet pussy. The room reeked of sex, and considering how little time had passed between when they’d last seen Selena and now, that was saying something.

“Wow,” Jordin Sparks said.

“Do you mind?” The woman fucking Selena asked. “I’m trying to get some here.”

“HELP!” Selena cried out.

“Let her go,” Captain Clarkson said, leveling her sword at the woman.

“Oh, you so don’t want to do that,” the woman replied, sliding her strap-on out of Selena with a plopping sound.

“Just stand against the wall,” Clarkson said as Carrie Underwood rushed to where Selena lay on the bed, checking her for wounds.

“You okay?” the ship’s doctor asked.

“I would’ve been better if you guys had waited another minute,” Selena said, flush and clearly frustrated.

“We’ll get you back to the ship, and you can totally fuck Demi senseless,” Underwood promised, helping Selena to her feet.

“What ship are you fools off of?” the naked woman asked.

“The Rusted Idol,” Sparks said before Clarkson could silence her. “The biggest ship in port.”

“The frigate?” the rapist asked. “Huh. Well, for now I guess.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Clarkson asked.

“You’ll find out soon enough,” the woman replied, crossing her arms just below her breasts.

“C’mon, grab Selena’s clothes – let’s get out of here.”

“Where’s your shirt?” Underwood asked as Sparks grabbed Selena’s pants hanging in the window.

“Who knows?” Selena asked, pulling her pants on. “I was more worried about the scary girl trying to rape me. Which she did, by the way!”

“I’ll check you out when we get back to the ship,” Underwood said, wrapping the blanket off the cot around Selena’s shoulders.

“We’ll be leaving now,” Captain Clarkson replied, keeping an eye on the rapist.

“Oh, you might leave this building, but you’ll never leave this island – alive, anyway,” the woman said.

“Wow, you really take this scary rapist stuff seriously,” Jordin Sparks said, backing out of the door. Carrie lead Selena next, and the Captain backed out slowly, her sword still pointed at the rapist.

“Do you have any idea who I am?” the woman asked, taking a step forward, ignoring her nudity and the blade of Kelly’s sword.

“Nope, and I don’t want to,” Kelly said. “Unless you’re a Pirate, that is,” she ventured quickly.

“I’m not, no,” the woman said. “My name is Michelle Rodriguez, and I’m going to kill you.”

Kelly glanced down at the ivory phallus hanging between Michelle’s legs, still coated enough in Selena’s juices to shine in what little light there was in the room. “What, with that?” she asked.

“No, with this!” Michelle said, suddenly lunging over the bed. She did a complete somersault over the length of the cot, coming of at the head of the bed, now armed with a nasty looking rapier. Still naked, save for the strap-on, she dove for Kelly, swinging her blade mercilessly.

“Fuck!” Kelly said, blocking the other sword as hard as she could. A moment later, Michelle slammed her whole body into her, and the two women went flying to the floor.

With one deft kick, Michelle slammed the door closed in the still surprised faces of Carrie, Jordin, and Selena. The lock slid into place with an ominous clank.

“Maybe you won’t get out of this room after all,” Michelle said as she and Kelly got back up on their feet.

* * *

Commander Lambert and Katharine McPhee had hit upon a plan to keep themselves out-of-sight for those hunting them pretty quickly after splitting from Demi Lovato and Kellie Pickler. If they heard a large group approaching them, they quickly found the nearest dark corner, got into it, and started making out. Lambert had found a mostly empty jug of ale, which he clung to as a prop, and Kat walked around with her shirt mostly unbuttoned, her ample breasts ready to pop out at a moments notice.

It worked pretty well, too, most of the crowds that passed them by took one look at them, assumed Lambert was about to get very lucky, and left them alone. After all, those fleeing from Vikings and search parties wouldn’t stop to fuck practically in the street, would they?

And so the two made their way slowly through the town, until they were almost in sight of the harbor. And here, their plan backfired.

“Hol’ up,” a rough voice said as the latest group was walking past Lambert and McPhee. “What do we ‘ave here?”

Lambert glanced back over his should to see five clearly drunk men, all armed with knives, standing in the middle of the street, looking at him and Kat. He willed them to move on as he groped Kat’s breasts, but they didn’t.

“Looks like we got us a show goin’ on here,” the lead guy said. He stuffed his knife back into it’s scabbard at his hip, and leered forcefully at the two apparent lovers.

“Uh-oh,” Kat whispered in Lambert’s ear. “What do we do?”

“There’s five of them – we might be able to take them.”

“Might draw the wrong kind of attention,” she whispered back.

“Look at ‘em!” the lead man said. “Theys just goin’ on, rutting right here in the street, like no one will care!”

“No one will care, Sukko,” another one said. “You fucked that Oriental girl in the middle of the town square two nights ago, and no one so much as blinked.”

“Shut up, Thed,” Sukko snarled. “Warnton, Hauss – grab the fucker! Bill, bring me the girl.”

“Oh, fuck,” Lambert said, spinning around, going for his half-concealed sword – and receiving a nasty punch to the jaw from one of the thugs – either Warnton or Hauss, he guessed. In his effort to stay unnoticed, they’d gotten a lot closer than he realized.

Kat McPhee screamed as Lambert hit the ground, and another of the thugs – Bill, apparently – leapt at her. Kat was no pushover, however, and her knee connected with Bill’s crotch about the same time his hands connected with her exposed breasts. He went down in a lump, groaning.

“Get her!” Sukko commanded. The three other thugs leapt on Kat, who was dragged down to the ground. She tried screaming, but one of the men placed a hand over her mouth.

“Hey, Sukko, ain’t we supposed to be looking for a guy and some girls?” Bill asked as Sukko approached his two new prisoners.

“Bill, you’re stupid,” Sukko replied. “There’s only one girl here. No guy is dumb enough to let two of his chicks go if he’s being chased, right?”

“I guess not,” Bill said, warily.

“Exactly,” Sukko said. He crouched down and reached out to grope one of Katharine’s breasts. “Very nice. You’d catch a fine price in some ports.”

“Let us go,” Katharine said, staring daggers at him.

“Aww, now why should I do that? If I hold on to you for a few days, the next Merchantman heading to the Orient will surely pay a good sum to add you to it’s cargo. They buy beauties like you over there, you know.”

“But I’m used goods,” Katharine said, looking at Lambert. “They like their girls fresh over there, don’t they?”

Sukko paused at that. “Eh, you’re right. Virgins and what not, they wants.”

“She ain’t no virgin,” Warnton muttered.

“Well, maybe we’ll just have to kill you and your boyfriend here – we need money right now, and you’re just slowing us up,” Sukko said.

“You could just let us go and get going,” Katharine offered.

“Aye, we could. But where’s t’ fun in that?” Sukko asked, groping her breast again.

Kat had a sinking feeling she knew where this was headed. The five thugs were dirty, stinky, and probably hadn’t spent so much as ten minutes with a woman in ages. Already, she could see their pants tenting as the realization that she was already half undressed fully hit them.

These guys clearly weren’t the sharpest knives in the drawer.

“Tell you what, boys,” she sighed, getting up on to her knees. “I’ll suck each of you off, if you’ll just leave us alone when you’re done. You might be running late by then anyway, so…” she trailed off, pouting her lips just a bit to add to the invitation.

The five men traded looks, and once again Sukko took charge. “Hold him,” he said, pointing towards Lambert, who was still half out of it on the ground. Hauss and Thed grabbed the Commander by the arms and held him half up as Sukko walked forward, undoing the flap of his pants as he walked.

“Deal, girlie – but you’d better be good.”

‘Forgive me, Pickle,’ Katharine said as she opened her mouth and took Sukko’s cock between her lips.

* * *

There came another thud against the door as Carrie Underwood and Jordin Sparks tried to break through the lock. It wasn’t doing them any good, as the door wasn’t giving, but at least it let Captain Clarkson know they hadn’t abandoned her yet.

She kind wish they had.

Michelle Rodriguez was a talented swordswoman, slashing and riposting, dodging and hacking, stabbing and parrying quickly, expertly, and already Kelly felt like she was only surviving this fight through sheer dumb luck.

Well, if it wasn’t for dumb luck, Kelly wouldn’t have any. And she was a fairly decent swordswoman herself.

Redoubling her attack, she pushed the still mostly naked Michelle across the room, the ringing of their clashing swords almost deafening. There were no taunts, no witty comments, no dares, no exclamations of triumph or shouts of pain. The two women just fought, steel flashing through the air until one or the other made a mistake.

Michelle started to push back, driving Kelly relentlessly back towards the window that was now at her back, each blow sending shockwaves up Kelly’s arms. Michelle was strong – clearly stronger than Kelly was. If this fight went too long, Queen Natalie might get to hear of Kelly’s death after all.

With a strength derived mostly of desperation, Kelly slammed aside Michelle’s blade, and punched her straight in the face. Michelle fell back on to her ass, a look of sheer surprise on her face.

Kelly took the only chance she thought she’d get. She turned her blade around, and leapt at Michelle, hoping to score a killing blow. Down her sword stabbed, stopping just above Michelle’s naked breasts as the rapist’s legs came up and caught Kelly on the stomach.

With a powerful kick, Michelle thrust the ship captain back, sending her tumbling to the room’s window -

-and out Kelly tumbled.

* * *

Katharine McPhee wasn’t the biggest fan of blowjobs, but she gave them when she needed to. Right now, she needed to.

She started off with the lead thug, simply because he stepped forward and practically shoved his cock down her throat. He smelled a bit too much log grog, and the fact that the smell seemed to be coming from his crotch was not a promising sign. Still, Katharine opened up and took him between her lips.

That wasn’t her best idea. Sukko didn’t say a word as he grabbed her dark hair with both hands and shoved his cock as far into her mouth as it could go. Katharine gagged, and spent the next several moments trying hard to just not throw up. Harder and harder he thrust into Kat’s mouth, bringing tears to her eyes as he seemed to want to poke the head of his cock through the back of her throat more than anything else.

“Fuck her face, Sukko!” One of the other thugs called out – Kat couldn’t tell which with her face pressed against the man’s crotch. Sukko seemed to take the advice – probably the first time he’d taken advice from any of these louts – and increased his shoving into Kat’s mouth. She was sorely tempted to bite down, but before she could, Sukko blew his load, filling her mouth with his hot, sticky seed.

“Swallow it, bitch, or we’ll gut your boyfriend,” Sukko said as he grabbed Katharine’s hair and held her to his cock as he continued to spew out. Kat followed orders and swallowed.

“Good girl,” Sukko said, pulling out of her mouth and wiping his cock in Katharine’s hair. “Warnton, your turn.”

One of the guys holding Lambert dropped his arms and moved to stand before Kat. He was still struggling to get his cock out of his pants when he got there. Wanting to hurry things along, Kat reach up and kissed his balls through his pants, which only made him fumble more.

“Damn it, Warnton, don’t you know how to get your pants off?” Sukko asked, laughing.

“Shut it, Sukko.”

“Watch your tone, boy!” Sukko said. Warnton looked like he was about to make an issue of Sukko’s comments when his fly finally came undone, and his cock sprang forth. Kat gave half a second’s thought to seeing if the boys would start fighting with themselves, but Warnton must have really wanted it, because he grabbed Kat’s hair and shoved her face into his crotch, missing her mouth with his cock and smashing her lips against his balls.

This only made Sukko and the others laugh more.

He got it on his second try, and he was bigger than Sukko had been. But he was also clearly in desperate need, because he was quick to blow his load – not a full minute passed before he was pulling out. Kat swallowed his cum, too – just in case.

“Hauss, you’re next,” Sukko said. One of the guys holding Katherine’s arms traded places with Warnton, and he had far less trouble with his pants – they were halfway down his legs before he was even in front of Katherine.

“Suck it good, bitch,” Hauss said, smirking down at her. “I love a good woman’s lips around my shaft.

* * *

“AUGH!” Kelly Clarkson screamed as her shoulder screamed in protest. She’d managed to get a hand on the underside of the window sill and stop herself from plummeting, but her entire left arm wasn’t happy about how she’d chosen to save her life.

“Captain?” a voice called out from below. Kelly looked down to see Selena Gomez looking up at her, her hands covering her bare teenaged tits. “She’s out here!” Selena yelled back into the house.

“So she is,” Michelle’s voice said, looking down from the window above, a nasty look on her face. “You’re a lucky one, Captain.”

“Depends on how you look at it,” Kelly said. She didn’t have that far to fall, and now that she had her feet towards the ground, she should be able to roll as she landed…

“Let’s look at it from my perspective,” Michelle said, idly glancing at her sword as she leaned out the window, her naked nipples going stiff in the cooler air. “You’re clearly going to drop to the ground, where your crew is going to gather you up and race you back to your ship – you’re about halfway across the island from the harbor, I hope you know.”

“Yeah, that had crossed my mind,” Kelly said. She’d dropped her sword as she’d fallen – she could see it laying on the ground not far from Selena. If she’d still had it in her hand, she would have tried to take a swing at the suddenly talkative bitch above her.

“Now, you should know that I have some powerful friends in this town, and as soon as I’m dressed, they’ll totally be out looking for you,” Michelle said next. “You’ll never make it across town.”

“I’d be willing to take my chances,” Kelly snarled.

“Good for you, then. Guess the hunt is on.” With that, Michelle lifted her sword high, preparing to slash it down at Kelly’s arm. The Port Captain let go and fell towards the ground, landing in a pile on top of Carrie Underwood, Jordin Sparks, and Selena Gomez.

“I’ve had dreams like this,” Selena said as they all landed in a thud. “Though usually I’m not the only one half-naked.”

“C’mon,” Kelly growled, reaching for her discarded sword. “Something tells me we’re in more trouble here than we think.”

“What’s new about that?” Jordin asked.

* * *

Hauss didn’t want Katherine McPhee to drink his cum. Instead, he pulled out and shot his load all over her still-exposed tits, practically collapsing as he did so.

“Damn, bitch – best blowjob I’ve had in ages,” He said, wiping his cock in her hair. Katherine snarled at him, but said nothing. She still had two more of these goons to go. Hauss took Thed’s place on the other side of Lambert, and walked up real close in front of Kat before undoing the buttons on his pants.

“Hurry up, bitch,” he said, shoving himself into Kat’s mouth before she could so much as look at his cock. Kat blinked, automatically sucking at the flesh between her lips, but was surprised to find that poor Thed wasn’t even hard.

Taking a gamble, she pulled off his cock long enough to speak. “What’s the matter, baby? Aren’t I sucking your cock right? You aren’t even hard.”

“SHUT UP, BITCH!” Thed screamed, moving to backhand Kat – but was stopped by the last thug around, Bill.

“Don’t hit her – I ain’t had my chance yet!” Bill snarled.

“What’s the matter, Thed? Don’t you like girls?” Lambert said quietly from where hey lay between two of the other thugs.

Thed whirled about, apparently thinking that one of his buddies was making fun of him – true enough, his cock wasn’t hard, and it wasn’t big as he leapt at Sukko, knife in hand.

“Thed, what the fuck-” Were the last word Sukko got out before Thed slashed his throat. The guys holding Lambert leapt at Thed, while Bill dropped Katharine to help in the fight.

Kat had just enough time to wipe some of the cum off her breasts with a hand before Lambert was next to her, hauling her up on her feet and dragging her away.

“C’mon, before they notice we’re gone,” he said.

“Poor Bill,” Katharine muttered. “He didn’t get his blowjob.”

“You wanna go back?” Lambert asked her.

Katharine looked over her shoulder to see Thed stabbing Warnton in the balls. “No, I’m good,” she replied as they ran towards the harbor.

* * *

Captain Kelly Clarkson was still thinking about where she was going to find a pirate – the whole reason for coming to Isla Sorna in the first place – as she lead Dr. Carrie Underwood, Midshipman Jordin Sparks, and the still topless Selena Gomez towards the harbor at a dead run. They desperately needed some sort of clue as to where to find the Pirate Queen, and her prisoner, Princess Miley Cyrus. Isla Sorna was really their only hope.

Maybe they could sail to the Oracles of Sapphos – Kelly’d been there before, and the Oracles might lead them to the Pirate Queen. It would take a long time – time the Princess might not have – but it was starting to look like their only option. Unless they just sailed around the ocean, hoping to stumble upon the Pirate nest by accident.

The four women went running around the corner and came into view of the Harbor just as the giant bells that rung announcing the arrival of a new ship. Night had long ago fallen, but the harbor remained well lit by two large bonfires at the edges of the harbor, and plenty of moonlight filtering in through the skies above. Judging by the height of the moon, Captain Clarkson guessed that it was closing in on Midnight. They ignored the ringing bells for a few more steps until the bow of the new ship came into view behind the Rusted Idol.

It was a Carrack. Specifically, a Pirate Carrack.

Captain Clarkson stopped dead in her tracks, practically skidding on the cobblestones.

“Well, that ought to make finding a pirate before we leave easier,” Selena quipped.

* * *

On the far side of the harbor, Commander Lambert and Katharine McPhee saw the Pirate Ship at the same time the others did, though they were still trying to get Katharine presentable enough to walk through the busy docks to get to the Idol without drawing the attention of every horny sailor between here and there.

“Well, that can’t be good,” Lambert muttered.

“What are the odds that the Pirate Queen’s on that ship?” Kat asked, finally closing her open shirt.

“Slim to none, I bet – how would we have beaten her here when she had a two-day head start on us?” Lambert asked. He climbed up on a barrel next to the ally they were hiding in and peered across the ships to get a better look at the new arrival.

“The ship’s named The Dirrty Rapist,” he said.

“Charming name,” Kat muttered.

“I get the feeling we should go back and get Kellie and Demi now,” Lambert said. “Before it’s too late.”

“Get us for what?” Kellie Pickler asked, appearing behind them suddenly.

“Pickle?!” Kat gasped, surprised.

“We got tired of waiting and decided to follow you,” Demi Lovato said, clad in a very short shirt that didn’t quite hide her naughty bits if she wasn’t standing perfectly still. It was better than the old rag of a blanket they’d been wrapping her in, though.

“Where’d you get that?”

“Took it off a drunk sailor a few streets back,” Demi said. “It was better than the blanket.”

“Why didn’t you steal his pants?” Kat asked.

“He wasn’t wearing any,” Demi said with a shudder.

“Say no more,” Lambert said. “We gotta find a way back to the ship before those Pirates start infesting the entire island.

“What about the Vikings chasing us?” Katharine asked.

“Yeah, we gotta avoid them, too.”

“And what about Captain Clarkson and her bunch?” Demi asked.

“And we gotta find them,” Lambert growled.

“And shouldn’t we try and grab one of these pirates to bring back for more information?” Kat asked.

“Yes, all of that!”

“Can we stop for something to eat, too?” Kellie asked. “I’ve been hungry ever since we started to talk about broth.”

It was all Katharine and Demi could do to keep Lambert from jumping on Pickler and pounding her into the pavement.

* * *

Captain Kelly had lead Carrie, Jordin, and Selena into a small, empty warehouse across from where the pirate ship had finally come to rest. They stood hidden in the shadows, watching as the pirates came down off their ship. Half of them were rushing off like usual sailors eager for the freedom of a port like Isla Sorna provided. But surprisingly, the other half either lounged patiently on the ship, or around the bottom of the gangplank, as if waiting for someone.

“What’s going on?” Jordin asked.

“No clue, but I get the feeling they might be involved somehow,” Clarkson said, pointing towards a small group approaching the docks. At the head was a gorgeous redheaded woman who was fairly older than anyone in Clarkson’s group – maybe late 30’s or early 40’s. Next to her was another older woman who was maybe in her mid-40’s, with frazzled dark hair and a large sack slung over her shoulders. They were flanked by six exceedingly large Vikings in full battle regalia. The pirates didn’t look too happy to see the Vikings, nor vice versa, but despite Kelly’s worst fears, neither group immediately started fighting with each other.

“I didn’t know there were this many Vikings on Isla Sorna,” Carrie Underwood whispered. “I didn’t see a Viking ship in the harbor.”

“Me, either,” Kelly replied.

As they watched, the group stopped right in front of the pirate ship, the dark-haired woman dropping the heavy sack at her feet with a sigh.

“Where is she?” the redhead asked one of the Pirates waiting by the gangplank.

“She’s coming – she had to get dressed first,” the Pirate said, which sent a laugh through the crew, and a scowl across the face of the redhead.

“I don’t have time for this – there are people running all over my island, causing problems.”

“No concern of ours,” the Pirate said.

“Come now, Raul! These are our new partners here on Isla Sorna!” a new voice called out. Kelly’s eyes shot to the top of the gangplank, where a small woman was now descending towards the docks below. She was short – no more than 5’1” tall – with long, curly blonde hair and a tiny frame, she was hardly intimidating – until you got a good look at what she was wearing.

Long leather boots ran from her feet up well past her knees, though they didn’t seem to slow her walking at all. Tiny panties covered her ass – just barely – and left the rest of her legs bare to the world. Her stomach was also bare, though some stunning jewelry seemed to decorate her belly button. She wore a long coat open, revealing a pair of pistol holsters that covered her ample breasts, with no shirt underneath – she seemed to enjoy her skin exposed, and had a few tattoos on that exposed skin. She topped the outfit off with a big pirate hat with a long ostrich feather sticking out of one side, skull and crossbones blatantly displayed in the front of the hat. Her fingers were covered in rings, and her ears had several piercing of various sizes and shapes, from hoops to studs, to one that looked suspiciously like a dangling little dagger.

But none of that made her fearful. It was her signature piece of clothing that truly marked her as fearsome despite her small size and stature. It was the one thing that had made her one of the most feared pirates in all of Celebria, almost as fearful as the Pirate Queen herself. No, her signature item was dangling between her legs, a seven-inch long lacquered wood strap-on dildo that seemed to reflect more light than all of her jewelry put together.

“Is that who I think it is?” Jordin asked, fear in her voice.

“Yes,” Kelly said, trying not to sound as worried as she now was. “Captain Christina ‘Xtina’ Aguilera, captain of the pirate ship Dirrty Rapist – perhaps the only woman on the seas more blood thirsty than the Pirate Queen.”

“Captain Aguilera – “ the redhead started to say, but was cut off by Xtina.

“Calm down, Dina – may I call you Dina?”

“I’d prefer it if you called me Governor Meyer,” the redhead said. “After all, this is to be my island.”

“Yes, yes – under my protection,” Xtina said, running her hand through Dina’s hair. “Very nice. I love redheads.”

“We have some problems,” Dina Meyer started.

“Hold up,” Xtina said, openly groping Dina’s breast through her top. “You haven’t introduced me to this lovely lady next to you.”

“Mary-Louise Parker,” the woman said, extending a hand. Xtina shook it carefully, smiling seductively as she did so.

“Ah, you’re the woman coming up with our crazy new concoction,” Xtina said. “How nasty is it?”

“Thesh is more potent than hashish, more sedative than opium, and lasts half as long as either one,” Parker said formally. “Once it gets out to the world at large, it’ll very quickly become the leading drug out there. Your smugglers will be able to name their price, and people will pay it, once they’ve had their taste.”

“Wonderful, wonderful – tell me, my dear, have you slept with many women?” Xtina asked, approaching Parker.

“Uh, no,” Mary-Louise said, suddenly sounding very timid. “I, uh, I like boys…”

Xtina glanced down at her strap-on. “We’ll get around that. You’re spending the night with me.”

“Excuse me,” Dina Meyer said, getting between Xtina and Parker, “But if you’re done setting up your date for the evening, we’ve got bigger problems.”

“There’s no bigger problem than who I fuck each night,” Xtina said, waltzing past Meyer to admire the Vikings behind them. “Very nice, boys,” she said, looking them up and down. “Any of you ever been fucked up the ass by a girl before?”

Meyer cut back in before any of them could answer. “Rurik’s men aside, captain, the town’s far from under our control yet.”

“What’s to control? You have a bunch of drunk sailors from dozens of ships. Rurik Hengest has promised more Vikings once we officially take control – I’m here to make that official. Rurik can send more Vikings whenever he wants.”

“But we don’t control the town – there are Port sailors running around here!”

“Port Sailors? Some survived the Queen’s attack?” Xtina asked, looking genuinely surprised. “Must not have been at home for Fleet Week.”

“Their ship is right over there,” Dina snarled, pointing over at the Rusted Idol.

“Is it now?” Xtina asked, whirling about to look, her dildo swaying between her legs as she did so. “How many aboard?”

“Enough to put up a fight if we try to take her,” Dina replied. “Horsa refused to lead his Vikings to seize it – says they’ve got their cannons loaded and are waiting to fire if he even tries it.”

“Who’s Horsa?”

“Horsa Vandervoort, Rurik’s representative,” Dina replied. “He’s Rurik’s chosen heir, now that Horsa’s sister has vanished.”

“Needless trivia,” Xtina muttered. “Can they sail the ship?”

“Probably, but they’ve got crewmen ashore – four of whom I want very dead.”

“Ooh, what’d they do?” Xtina asked excitedly.

“Three of them stole the fourth, who was my… entertainment for the night.”

“Was she cute?” Xtina asked, her voice suddenly filled with compassion.

“Yes,” Dina muttered.

“Then we’ll gut them all!” the pirate captain shouted. “Bring me the heads of every Port sailor in this town!” The pirates cheered and started to race off, but Xtina suddenly changed her mind, “WAIT!” She screamed. Somehow used to this, the entire host of pirates stopped dead in their tracks and spun around to face their captain again.

“I want them ALIVE,” Xtina shouted. “I shall introduce each and every one of them to my shaft, and when I’m done, I’ll slit their throats personally!”

The pirates all cheered again, and raced off.

“Nice to feel wanted,” Selena Gomez muttered from the hiding place.

“You think they’re talking about Lambert’s group?” Carrie Underwood asked.

“Who else?” Captain Clarkson muttered. “Seems we weren’t the only ones to run into trouble.”

“Maybe they made it back to the ship already,” Jordin offered.

“Maybe,” Clarkson said. “Either way, we need to get back there and see what’s going on. Perchy must be keeping the locals at bay, but he won’t risk the rest of the crew to come get us.”

“Can we at least get me a shirt?” Selena Gomez asked.

“Selena, maybe you’d better back up and hide somewhere else,” Kelly said. “Those pirates could come in here any second, and you aren’t exactly dressed for-”

“For trouble, yeah, I know,” Selena muttered. “Maybe I’ll go check out that Tailor shop across the street…”

“Just be careful – and come running if we call,” Carrie Underwood suggested.

“Yeah, like THAT’s going to happen,” Selena muttered, moving off as best she could while keeping her breasts covered with her hands.

Xtina and Dina Meyer were still arguing.

“Enough of this,” The pirate spat towards the ground. “You’re talking technicalities – who’s going to complain if we take over a lawless island? We’re in charge here, which means you and I are in charge, Governor Meyer. In fact – what say we change your title?”

“My title?” Dina Meyer asked, surprised.

“Yeah – who wants to be the Governor of an island when you can be the Queen of the island?”

“Queen?” Dina said, sounding dubious.

“Queen Dina Meyer of Isla Sorna – the Island Queen herself. Yes, it’ll work quite well when I throw that bitch Keira to Davy Jones’ locker and become Pirate Queen myself. With your help here, the money Mary-Jane here-”

“Mary-Louise,” Parker put in, forgotten by the other two for most of the conversation.

“Providing the funds for my little insurrection, and Rurik’s Vikings to back me up when it comes to the big fight, there’s nothing that can stop me.”

“You mean nothing that can stop US,” Dina said.

“Of course, your Highness,” Xtina said with a laugh. “Now, where’s that mercenary you hired? The one who was going to be in charge of keeping everything on the island in line?”

“Michelle Rodriguez? No clue,” Meyer said. “She was supposed to meet us here, though it’s possible she just got caught up doing her job. I’m sure she’ll be here any minute.”

“Wait!” Jordin said suddenly. “Michelle Rodriguez? Isn’t that the-”

“The bitch we’ve been running from,” Kelly snarled. “This just keeps getting worse and worse. You two go find Selena now, before-”

“Too late,” a new voice said from behind them. Kelly and Jordin spun around to see Michelle Rodriguez holding Carrie by her arms, the long blade of her sword pressed against the blonde doctor’s throat. “I told you that you’d never make it all the way across town.”

“What, this warehouse doesn’t count?” Kelly said sarcastically. “Let her go.”

“Oh, I don’t think so. Boys?” As she spoke, a half-dozen Vikings entered the warehouse from out the door they’d been watching Xtina’s arrival from. All were armed and angry looking.

“Hello, Horsa,” Michelle said to the tall blonde Viking leading the group. “Thanks for helping out on this. These four are tricky.”

The tall blonde Viking nodded silently, then looked around the room. “I only count three,” he said, his voice thick and gruff.

“Where’s the girl hiding?” Michelle asked, pressing her blade closer to Carrie’s neck.

“She went across the street to the tailor shop,” Jordin said quickly. “But I doubt she’s still there. If she saw you-”

“Hello, what have we here?” a new voice said. The group turned to see Xtina sauntering in, leading Dina Meyer, Mary-Louise Parker, and a few pirates with her. “Michelle, Horsey, we missed you two at the docks. If we’d know you were right next door having a party-”

“Horsa,” the big Viking growled, but said no more.

“Sorry, tying up some loose ends,” Michelle said as the Vikings grabbed Kelly and Jordin and removed their weapons. “These are some Port Sailors off the frigate over there-”

“You found them already?!” Xtina said, clapping her hands together loudly. “Fantastic! Dina, which one did you get to fuck?”

“These aren’t the ones I dealt with,” Dina Meyer said, coming up to look at the three women now being chained together with manacles. “There was a man, a young girl, a brunette and a blonde. None of them looked like this.”

“Male sailors are such trouble,” Xtina said. “Well, the hunt goes on – until then, let’s go celebrate our take over, shall we? Where’s the nearest pub? I’d like to get wasted before I rape some sailors!”

* * *

“Ugh, there’s nothing cute in this whole pile,” Selena Gomez complained aloud as she rifled through what looked like a bunch of clothes that were better used as rags than actual clothes. Selena seriously wondered how these people lived like this – she dressed better when she and Demi were homeless on the streets, picking pockets before Captain Kelly caught them red-handed and brought them aboard the Idol for punishment.

That first night had been punishment, but it had hurt so good…

There were no shirts Selena’s size at all – most of what was here were overalls for people considerably taller than Selena, and a single dress that looked like it had been chewed up by moths for years. She thought about trying it on just to see if maybe it would cover her boobs, but as she thought about it, she glanced out the front window and froze.

There, walking in calmly to the same warehouse that the others were hiding in, sword already out, was the woman who’d tried to rape Selena earlier. Melody, or Megan, or something like that, Selena couldn’t remember. She did remember how she’d really started to like the way she’d been getting fucked, but the woman had made it clear that Selena probably wasn’t going to live to see morning once they finished, so Selena was glad to be out of her clutches.

Except now, Captain Kelly, Carrie, and Jordin were going to be caught.

And here Selena was, without even a shirt to wear, cut off from her ship by pirates, Vikings, and who knows what else, with no one to help her out.

“Damn it, Demi, where are you when I need you?” Selena muttered, heading towards the back of the room. One thing Selena had learned in all the years she’d spent on the streets with only Demi to keep her company was that when trouble shows up, you run.

And when your friends are in trouble, go get help, because trouble’s never something you can handle alone.

If Selena couldn’t get back to the Idol, she’d have to find Commander Lambert – besides, he’d be the only one who’d know how to deal with this kind of crazy shit anyway.

Selena found the back exit to the abandoned tailor shop and into the wee hours of the morning just as she heard people entering the front of the shop – she was getting out just in time. Too bad she hadn’t found a shirt.

She just hoped finding the rest of her friends wouldn’t be as hard as finding enough clothes to wear in this crummy town was…

* * *

Morning reached the Kingdom of Port again, still recovering from the devastating attack the Pirate Queen had launched mere days before. Standing atop one of the taller towers in the castle, the two assassins, Caspar and Memnon glanced out at the efforts to clear the great bay that made the entire Kingdom of Port famous. Things were moving slowly, though a few fishing boats were finally able to get out and gather enough food that the fears of starvation were starting to fade a little bit. When the Pirate Queen, Keira Knightley, had staged her devastating attack, she’d knocked out more than just Port’s military fleet – many of it’s merchantmen and fishing vessels had been destroyed as well. It was quite possible that the kingdom would never really recover from the attack.

Neither assassin cared. They were here to essentially finish the job, paid in part by the Pirate Queen, and in part by some mysterious backers who’d contracted them to eliminate Queen Natalie Portman. They’d already tried to kill Queen Natalie once, but were defeated by mere chance and a particularly troublesome guard who’d kept them at bay long enough for help to arrive.

Clearly, they’d have to change their strategy if they were to kill Queen Natalie before the deadline the mysterious backers had set – though that deadline was still quite a ways off.

“We could try poisoning the food,” Memnon suggested, wiping sweat off his brow beneath his thick mop of wild dark hair. Short, stout, and best described as barrel-shaped, Memnon was the complete opposite of his partner, Caspar. Taller, almost reed thin, and devoid of hair on his body save for eyebrows and eyelashes, Caspar was the more dominant member of the duo, his tanned skin hinting at a more exotic heritage than his pale companion.

“No, the pesky little female guard has people tasting the food before it goes to the Queen, now.”

“Amazing how they managed to find the two guards in all of Celebria who actually care about their jobs,” Memnon muttered. “I really don’t know which is worse, the Hayesworth fellow, or this annoying little Stanic girl.”

“Either way, we can work around them,” Caspar replied. “We could attempt to sneak a poisonous viper into her baths, but there’s no guarantee one of her servants wouldn’t find it before the Queen got in there.”

“And I don’t like snakes anyway,” Memnon shuddered. “Fire powder on the throne?”

“The throne is always guarded,” Caspar reminded him. “Could we lure her out of the Castle?”

“Not without a hundred guards around her,” Memnon replied. “And both Hayesworth and Katic would probably be along.”

“Which would guarantee they’d get in the way,” Caspar said. “Maybe we should remove those two first.”


“Well, Hayesworth is the Queen’s lover – he’ll be hard to snag. But the Katic woman shouldn’t be hard,” Memnon said. “Get her alone sometime, away from her weapons.”

“Like when she takes a bath,” Caspar said. “Women in this castle take an inordinate amount of baths – as if they really get dirty enough every day for a bath.”

“Who can fathom women,” Memnon said. “I gave up a long time ago.”

“Yeah, but you could use a bath,” Caspar muttered.

“I’ll take one when we kill the Katic woman.”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.”

* * *

It was a quiet Council session, the carious advisors and delegates to the Queen decidedly downbeat. Between the attempt to assassinate Queen Natalie and the devastating pirate attack, Port was in bad shape, morale was low, and unrest was growing. And the reports weren’t getting any better.

“We still have thousands of sailors, and nothing for them to sail,” Dominic Keating, the head of Port’s Constubaltory, complained. “They are practically clogging the streets, making my police officer’s jobs next to impossible. Something must be done!”

“I’ve already conscripted as many of them as I can for the work crews building new ships,” Conner Trinner replied. “But even working around the clock, I can only fit so many men into the shipyards.”

“They are trained sailors,” Admiral Stewart scoffed. “Order them to behave, and they will.”

“Or what?” Keating demanded. “You’ll make them walk the plank? You don’t have any planks left for them to walk!”

Stewart began to sputter something, but the Queen cut him off.

“Clearly we must do something,” Queen Natalie Portman replied. “Perhaps they can join the lumber crews.”

“No, you Highness – we have enough wood for the ships we can build right now, and it will be a couple of years before we need more in any great amount,” Trineer replied.

“What about our efforts to arm and armor our merchantmen and transport ships?” Ellen Pompeo asked. “Could we include armed men on each ship as well as cannons?”

“Some, I suppose,” Admiral Stewart said. “But merchant ships cannot hold too many more men aboard them – maybe a dozen apiece.”

“I think, perhaps, we are missing the most obvious solution to two separate problems,” Rachael Leigh Cook, the Secretary of State, said.

“Go on, Rachael,” The Queen said.

“We are worried about our defense, and we have too many men with nothing to do, correct?”

“Indeed,” The Queen replied.

“Then perhaps we should consider using these displaced sailors and turning them into soldiers – raise an army to help defend Port now that the fleet is gone.”

The room went silent for a long moment.

“They would have to be retrained,” Dominic Keating said quietly.

“Fighting on land is completely different from fighting on the seas,” Admiral Stewart said thoughtfully, for once his voice not loud and boisterous.

“Still,” The Queen said. “This matter deserves looking into. Our current Army is very small, but if we used our veteran soldiers to train our sailors, it might just work.” The Queen smiled. “It will be so.” She turned to young Molly Quinn, once again serving as the record keeper for the meeting. “Who’s next?”

“Ambassador Ashley Newbrough has returned from Hollywoods with word on our border dispute,” Molly said, reading from the long list of demands on the Queen’s time.

“Send her in,” Queen Natalie replied. As they waited, she motioned towards Rachael Leigh Cook. “Brilliant idea, Rachael,” The Queen said quietly.

“I have others, if you’d care to hear them – privately, of course,” Rachael offered.

“I always welcome your counsel,” Natalie said, smiling at the other young woman.

Moments later, an impressively tall brunette walked into the room, clad in a long, flowing red cloak that somehow managed to cling to her youthful body in all the right places. Every man and most of the women in the room were automatically drawn to her as she stopped beside one of the door guards and removed her cloak. Underneath, she wore a burgundy and black dress that was cut to emphasis her cleavage, but with an additional cut up the side to show off her legs as well. To say that Ambassador Ashley Newbrough was stunningly gorgeous would’ve been an understatement.

“Your Highness,” Newbrough said, curtseying perfectly.

“Ambassador,” Queen Natalie said warmly. “What news from Hollywoods?”

“Much, though not all of it is good,” Ashley admitted right up front.

“Go on,” the Queen urged.

“The most pressing news is the death of old King Mickey, killed in battle with the roving raiders that have been plaguing Hollywoods for some time now.”

“Raiders?” In Hollywoods?” Financial advisor Armin Shimmerman squeaked. “That’s practically next door!”

“You’re focusing on the wrong news again, Armin,” Natalie chided the little man before turning back to the Ambassador. “Has Princess… Erica, was it? – has she assumed the throne yet?”

“No, My Queen. Prince Brandon was chosen to replace his father.”

“I’m confused. I thought Princess Erica was the elder sibling.”

“She is, by a few years at least. But the Hollywoods Council, in a blatantly sexist move, overrode her claim and named Brandon King over her.”

Ellen Pompeo snorted. “From what I’ve heard of her, that must not have sat well with Erica.”

“Nor does it with me,” Queen Natalie shot back. “Erica Durrance, while no great friend to Port, was a known quality. She could be trusted to look after her own wellbeing over most everything else. I’ve never even met her brother, Brandon, before.”

“I have met with the new King, Highness, and after careful review, he did agree to the treaty proposal we presented his father,” Ambassador Newbrough said.

“The Border dispute?” Shimmerman asked, excitedly.

“Totally in our favor – all fifteen acres of prime woodland, now officially part of Port by way of treaty,” Ashley said, practically beaming.

“And how did you convince the new King to agree to this?” Queen Natalie asked, suspicious.

Ashley gave a wry smile. “I appealed to his more… masculine needs, shall we say?”

“You slept with him,” Natalie said. It wasn’t a question.

“The day after his wedding night,” Ashley replied, not ashamed in the least.

The Queen shook her head. “Well, I cannot fault your success, Ambassador, though your methods are somewhat suspect.”

“If we could send her to Astemia, perhaps she could use her pussy to resolve our problems with King Costigan,” Rachael Leigh Cook joked.

“I’d be willing to try,” Ashley laughed, “But I do think I would be better service to Port by returning to Hollywoods.”

“You fancy someone there,” The Queen said, again not asking. “Not the new King, I hope.”

“Ugh, no – he’s quite the talented lover for a man, but my personal desires run more towards a young woman I’ve know there for years.”

The Queen nodded. “Very well, Ambassador. As a reward for your service in this matter, we shall send you back to Hollywoods, to continue to serve as our Ambassador at large to that Kingdom and it’s new rulers. And, should she consent, we will grant you a legal marriage to this nameless young lady you have fallen for, should she consent to coming to Port and becoming a citizen as you are.”

“I, uh, I thank you, My Queen,” Ashley said, clearly surprised.

“Now, tell me, Ambassador – would you sleep with King Brandon again, even though, as you say, he has a wife?”

“I would, My Queen, if asked to by you or my superiors, or if I thought it in the best interest of Port.. And I would sleep with his wife, who reportedly has even more of an eye for women than he does. Though I don’t know how much my sleeping with either one would influence them – they seem very casual in their sexual relations with other women, and pay little head to any counsel but their own.”

“For now, make yourself available to both, though press neither,” Queen Natalie replied. “If either one takes you into their bed, fight to stay there as often as possible, but do not upset them. See how friendly they are towards Port, and get word back to us here as quickly as possible. In times like these, we need all the allies we can find.”

“As you wish, my Queen,” Ashley said, curtseying again.

“When shall you return?” Ellen Pompeo asked.

“Tomorrow – my traveling party requires a night’s rest.

“Then enjoy your time at home, Ambassador. You are dismissed,” Natalie said, smiling warmly at the intoxicating young woman.

“Thank You, Highness,” Ashley said, backing out of the room and taking her cloak with her.

“Molly, dear, who’s next?” The Queen asked, knowing she had a long agenda ahead of her.

* * *

As was her personal tradition, Ashley Newbrough went immediately from the Queen’s Council to the Reserved Baths. Only surpassed in luxury by the Queen’s Private Royal Baths several floors up, the Reserved Baths were used only by the members of the Queen’s Council, or similarly ranked officers of the Court and their families. As first the daughter of the Ambassador to Hollywoods, and now Ambassador herself, Ashley had been allowed in the baths for years now, and was not challenged by the two guards stationed outside the doors after the attack on the Queen. Ashley walked right into the cubicle area where she proceeded to remove her vaunted dress and strip naked.

Once undressed, the young Ambassador boldly walked into the next room, which was the main bathing area. Empty of people at this hour of the day, save for herself, the room held three large pools, with enough room in each pool to sit well more than a dozen bathers around the edges without any of them touching more than elbows at most. The three pools were filled with different temperature waters. The first was the hot pool, with water so hot that it was just below boiling. Used mostly for quick dips to chock the system and truly heat away some of the dirt and grime that covered the bather, few people stayed in it very long before moving onto the next pool.

The middle pool was the more tepid one, but still warmer than any water one would find in nature, save perhaps at a natural hot spring. The middle pool was where bathers spent most of their time, soaking in the water and steam, and generally relaxing for great periods of time before moving on again.

The last pool was the cold water pool, used mostly to shock people back awake after their time in the middle pool, and to rinse off the warm water before they moved on to the massage rooms. The water was fresh from the nearby Torsolette River before it split into the Corselette river and the Bandeau river to create the V-shaped island that Castle Port rested upon, and was actually heated once to remove any impurities in the water itself before it was chilled down in the cellars for a full week to make it just a bit cooler than the river water itself. Then, finally, it was hauled up into the room and placed in the pool for one day’s use. After that, it was drained away in the middle of the night, and the process started all over again.

Ashley quickly stepped into the hot pool and allowed her body to sink all the way to her neck. The water was almost blisteringly hot, but Ashley remained in it, luxuriating in the way the heat seemed to melt her long journey home out of her skin. She stayed in until she was certain she couldn’t stay any longer – and then stayed in a moment or two longer, just to get the full effect.

Finally, getting out, Ashley quickly made her way over to the middle pool. This time, she dove completely under the water, getting her long, black hair wet in the warm water. Surfacing, she wiped the water from her eyes, then laid back against the rim of the pool and just floated in the water, allowing herself to drift off for a long time, just floating in the wet heat. Here and only here could she really relax. If she ever moved to Hollywoods permanently, she’d have to consider having a pool like this made for herself – though it was probably too costly for her agreeable but modest ambassador’s salary.

Maybe if she seduced King Brandon again, he’d build her a pool like this…

Having enjoyed the warmth, Ashley eventually got out of the middle pool and dove into the cold pool. The nearly icy water was a complete shock to her system, blasting the doziness that had come over her in the other pool completely out of her system, but also revitalizing her in a way the warm water couldn’t. She gasped before quickly getting out and wrapping a warm towel around her waist, making no effort to cover her ample breasts before waking into the massage room next door.

“Marco, I’m going to need you to really work some kinks out of my legs – that damn King Brandon was pretty rough on them – Oh! Hello, you’re not Marco,” Ashley said, coming to a stop in front of a tiny, thin girl with long, straight, dark hair.

“Marco is on an extended leave,” the young woman replied, openly staring at Ashley’s body in an almost clinical way.

“Is he okay?” Ashley asked. Marco had been her masseuse for years now, and she felt like he was a friend, not just someone who lavishly worked over her body.

“I don’t know,” the girl replied, her tone rather emotionless. She approached with her hand extended. “My name is Summer Glau – I’m fully trained to take Marco’s place while he’s away.”

“Well, Summer, can you give me a massage and work some kinks out of my legs?” Ashley asked, shaking the girl’s hand.

“Yes,” Summer said. “I can massage you. Lay down on the table,” she said, motioning towards one of the two main massage tables in the room.

“Wonderful,” Ashley said, dropping her towel and walking nude over to the table, where she quickly laid down face first on the massage table.

“It is traditional for female masseuses to be naked during massages,” Summer said, still emotionless.. “Does my nudity disturb you?”

“Sweetie, you can be as naked as you like, as long as you work out all my kinks,” Ashley replied, not even looking up.

There was the barest rustling of fabric as Summer’s clothing fell to the floor, and then Ashley felt the searing kiss of warm oil being liberally poured onto her back. Moments later, the flow of oil stopped, and Summer’s hands started to work over Ashley’s skin.

“Your muscles are very tight,” Summer said, matter-of-factly. “Have you been stressed?”

“Haven’t we all?” Ashley muttered.

“Yes, we’ve all be stressed,” Summer replied, mechanically. She continued to knead the flesh on Ashley back, working down towards her waist. Summer was quite skilled, and was the eased the stress out of Ashley, the Ambassador found herself wondering if little emotionless Summer Glau here was willing to do more than just massage her clients? She was certainly attractive enough for Ashley, and if she knew how to work her fingers over a clit like she did the rest of Ashley’s skin, than she was certain to be an excellent lover. And since she and Lucy were not yet exclusive, what was the harm?

Suddenly, the door to the massage room opened. Ashley looked up to see Ellen Pompeo enter, followed closely by her servant, Miracle Laurie. As Foreign Minister, Ellen was Ashley’s immediate boss, and could only be countermanded by Queen Natalie herself.

“Minister Pompeo!” Ashley said, moving to get up, but Pompeo waved her back down.

“Relax, Ambassador, you’ve earned it,” Ellen said, moving over towards the empty massage table. Next to Ashley’s.

“I am the only masseuse working right now,” Summer informed them, her voice sounding a bit defensive.

There was a long pause. “That’s okay,” Ellen said. “Miracle here is a talented massage artist herself. She can do me while I talk to the Ambassador.”

“Y-yes, Ma’am,” Miracle said, sounding quite surprised to hear this news.

“It is traditional for female masseuses to be naked,” Summer spoke up again, sounding insistent.”

More silence followed. Ellen sighed, and turned towards Miracle. “Take off your clothes, dear,” she commanded. “You should leave those lovely breasts of yours on display more often anyway.”

“Y-yes, M’lady,” Miracle said., starting to disrobe.

“You did well on your trip, Ambassador,” Ellen said, stripping herself of her robes and quickly laying down on the table. “You brought back vital information, completed an important treaty, and seduced a king. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought you were after my job.” She let that comment hang in the air for a long moment while Miracle finished getting undressed.

“Hardly,” Ashley said, practically snorting. “I prefer to remain Ambassador to Hollywoods.”

“Because you have a love there,” Ellen said as Miracle began gently pouring the massage oil onto her back.

“Something like that,” Ashley agreed, feeling Summer’s hands move from her lower back to the back of her leg.

“No desire at all to remain home, in a powerful position where no one will call on you to sleep with a King?”

“Well, not sleeping with kings to get what I want would be nice, but it’s not like I didn’t enjoy myself.”

“So you admit to enjoying the new Hollywoods King.”

“Sexually, sure. Beyond that, it’s too early to tell.”

“And you are certain his father was killed in battle?”

Ashley was taken aback by that statement. “Of course he was. His own children found his body.”

“Ellen raised a hand to stop the younger woman from continuing. “That’s more than enough, Ashley. You’ve done very well. You should reward yourself.”

“I thought that’s what I was doing,” Ashley replied curtly as Summers hands started to knead the flesh of her buttocks.

“You deserve more,” Ellen said simply. “Summer, darling, pleasure Ambassador Newbrough while you are working right there.”

“Yes, Minister,” Summer replied. Ashley didn’t have time to ask what Ellen was talking about before Summer slid two fingers all the way into Ashley’s pussy. The Ambassador gasped – shocked – but a moment later, Miracle Laurie, acting on unspoken orders, pinned Ashley’s shoulders to the massage table, holding her in place.

“What the hell?!” Ashley cried out as pleasure started to seep up her spine from her pussy.

“Don’t resist, Ambassador – the questioning you’re about to receive is standard when one of our people is seduced by foreign Royalty.”

“I seduced HIM!” Ashley snarled, then moaned. Summer was methodically stroking her fingers in and out of Ashley’s pussy, sending pulses of pleasure through her whole body now.

“If you’ve behaved properly, you’ll earn the orgasm you’re going to get. If not, you’ll be arrested and won’t ever return to Hollywoods.”

“Bitc-oh, FUCK,” Ashley’s curse changed tones midway through as Summer hit a particularly sensitive spot inside her. She started to protest, but Ellen put a finger to her lips.

“Summer will give you an orgasm – don’t fight it. But while she’s doing that, you and I need to cover a few things.”

“A-about what?” Ashley asked, the sensations in her pussy already starting to get to her. “I’ve already told you and the Queen everything I know!”

“And I believe you,” Ellen said, standing before Ashley completely nude and uncaring about her state of dress. “But I need to know where your loyalty lies. You claim that you are loyal to Port, but you’ve got a romance in Hollywoods, and you’ve bedded their King. – their newly married, with a gorgeous wife, King.”

“Oh, fuck,” Ashley moaned as summer added a thumb to her activities, placing it right atop Ashley’s engorged clit.

“So, where does your loyalty lie, Ambassador?” Ellen asked, almost casually.

“Here!” Ashley cried out, the pleasure rocketing her closer and closer to orgasm. “With Port!”

“With the Kingdom, or the Crown?” Ellen asked, suddenly deadly serious.

“W-what?” Ashley asked, confused and distracted by Summer’s ministrations. Her nipples were rock hard now, and her pussy was dripping juices all over Summer’s hands and the massage table.

“Kings and Queens change, Ambassador – both Port and Hollywoods have had changes in rulers lately, in case you hadn’t noticed.” Ellen pointed out, casually reaching down to play with Ashley’s nipples. The Ambassador gasped aloud. “Are you loyal to Queen Natalie, or to Port itself?”

“Both!” Ashley hissed as Summer removed her fingers and replaced them with her mouth. “Both, I swear!”

“But which do you support more?” Pompeo asked, leaning down to give one of Ashley’s nipples a gentle little lick. Below, Summer was proving to be even better with her tongue than she was with her fingers. Ashley’s entire brain was racked with sexual bliss.

The Miracle leaned down to kiss the nipple Ellen hadn’t gotten to yet.

That was the last straw. Ambassador Ashley Newbrough exploded in climax, her whole body shaking as intense pleasure sacked her body. Her breath caught in her throat, her eyes rolled back into her head, and for one long moment, Pompeo feared they were going to lose the tall ambassador to death by sex. But at the last moment, Ashley gasped for more breath, her eyes flying open in a flutter.

“Don’t stop, Summer,” Ellen commanded, standing up. She grabbed Ashley’s head aroud her ears and held it steady, looking right down into the other woman’s eyes. “The Kingdom or the Crown?” Ellen demanded again.

“The Kingdom!” Ashley gasped as Summer continued to eat her out. “The Kingdom, The Kingdom, Oh FUCK ME THE KINGDOM!” Ashley hollered.

“Excellent,” Ellen said, dropping Ashley’s head to the table. She motioned to Miracle, who released Ashley’s shoulders. “I’m glad to hear your priorities are straight. Summer, make her climax again, then finish her massage. She’s earned it.”

“W-wait!” Ashley gasped as Summer redoubled her efforts with her tongue.

“Why?” Ellen asked, suspicious. “You’re clear. I trust you.”

“I want you to fuck me, too!” Ashley cried, practically pleading.

“You’ve already bedded a King, now you want a Minister?” Pompeo asked. “No, I don’t think so, Ambassador. Remember, I’m your boss, you aren’t mine.”

Ashley nodded her head, but said no more. It appeared as if Summer’s tongue work had tied the Ambassador’s.

“Miracle, fetch my clothing.

“At once,” the servant said, grabbing her own clothes and rushing out the door. Summer continued to feast on Ashley’s pussy, the Ambassador holding the masseuses’ head to her crotch, clearly desperate for another orgasm. Ellen watched for a moment, just enjoying herself as she viewed the two women making love to each other. She gave thought to giving in and joining them when the door opened again. Turning, she expected to see Miracle returning with her clothes.

Instead, she found Rachael Leigh Cook entering the room, wet from the pools, and wearing only a towel, clearly surprised at what was going on.

“Oh, my!” Rachael said, her eyes going wide. At that same moment, Ashley reached her second climax as Rachael cried out, and for a long moment, the only sound in the room was young Ambassador Newbrough gasping for breath as she came down.

“I’m sorry,” Miracle said, dodging in past Secretary Cook carrying Ellen’s clothing.

“I didn’t know the new masseuse gave such… personal service,” Rachael said finally.

“I’m sorry, Rachael,” Ellen said quickly. “We got a little… carried away.”

“Understandable,” Rachael said. “Still, I’m afraid I only have time for a massage…”

“I can provide that for you,” Summer said, standing up, her face covered with Ashley’s cum.

“And we’ll be leaving, won’t we, Ambassador?” Ellen said.

“As soon as I can get to my feet,” Ashley muttered.

* * *

Minutes later, both fully dressed, Ellen Pompeo and Ashley Newbrough went their separate ways. Though Ellen didn’t get far.

“Well?” Marina Sirtis asked as Ellen rounded the corner.

“Ambassador Newbrough enjoys sex with women,” Ellen said, poor Miracle still trying to stuff her breasts back into her corset, they’d left so fast. “But she claims to be loyal to Port, and not the crown itself.”

“You believe her?” Marina asked.

“Yes. She seemed quite earnest. We didn’t get much into her relationship with King Brandon, but I think she’ll stay in place should we remove Natalie from the throne,” Ellen said.

“Good. Was that Rachael Leigh Cook I saw entering the baths?”

“Yes, fortunately she soaked long enough for us to finish the inquiry before she could interrupt us. Still, Summer will probably have to have sex with her next time she comes around.”

“I’ll be sure to inform Summer of that – Cook is too powerful to piss off. Shame she’s so loyal to Queen Natalie,” Marina mused.

“Could we turn her?”

“Never – they’ve been friends for too long. It’s personal with them, I think. I’d be surprised if they weren’t lovers.”

“The Queen seems to prefer her guard.”

“Good – the last thing we need is for Rachael Leigh Cook to get in line for the throne through some bizarre lesbian marriage – she’d swat us down like flies before we had a chance to think.”

“Miracle,” Ellen said, turning towards her servant. “Make a note – we need someone to keep tabs on Secretary Cook – someone we can trust.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Miracle said as they continued down the hallways.

* * *

Morning hit Isla Sorna hard. The night had actually been rather bloody. While the shipboard crew of the Rusted Idol managed to keep anyone from boarding her, they were unable to get off the ship themselves to go look for their missing crewmembers. At the same time, many of the crews of other ships docked there were not so lucky.

As part of the deal to seize the island, the Vikings had been promised the loot of any visiting merchant ships, and they moved on them at once. Crewmen rushing back once the news had hit were killed almost out of hand. By morning, three ships had burned, and the death toll was somewhere well over 300.

Commander Lambert had taken the trio of women with him and hidden out in a barn on the far side of the harbor for the remainder of the night, and thankfully went unnoticed by anyone, though none of them slept too well, save Kellie Pickler, who nodded off almost at once, her head on Katharine McPhee’s shoulder as they lay on a pile of forgotten hay.

Selena Gomez managed to get some sleep, too, though not in anywhere nearly as comfortable a place as a barn. She’d fled from where Captain Clarkson and the others had been captured, running almost without thinking – and still without a shirt – until she came across an abandoned alehouse midway through town. Michelle Rodriguez and her hunters weren’t too far behind, so Selena had ducked into a back room, then hid herself in an empty wine barrel, cramped down out of sight until she fell asleep.

Waking up wasn’t fun.

“I’m never going to complain about sleeping on a hammock again,” Selena muttered to herself when she finally woke up and extracted herself from the barrel. “Ah, who am I kidding? I complain about everything.”

The alehouse was free of stray clothing – or ale, sadly, as Selena wouldn’t have minded a good stiff drink at this point. She was in quite a pickle – “Pickle! Ha! I just came out of a barrel.” Captain Clarkson, Dr. Underwood, and Jordin Sparks were captive, probably closer to dead than alive at this point. Somewhere on this island was Commander Lambert, Kat McPhee, Kellie Pickler, and Selena’s one true love, Demi Lovato. Assuming they hadn’t been captured already. Or killed. Or back on the ship, stuck there not knowing where the others were.

That left Selena all alone, with nothing but her cute pants to help her.

“Well, when I die, at least I’ll die cute,” she mused.

She had to find Commander Lambert – he was her only hope, one way or another. All she knew for certain was that Lambert and his crew had gone looking for Pirates in the local brothels and whorehouses – of which there were many on Isla Sorna. Considering her current state of undress, Selena was certain she could get into any one of them – but she was also certain she’d probably not leave again.

“This sucks,” she said aloud. “How am I supposed to find help when I need help to find help?”

“You could try hiding down here, Mister,” a voice suddenly said from the front of the alehouse. “This place has been abandoned for years.”

“An alehouse, you say?” a man’s voice answered. “Any ale left in it?”

“On Isla Sorna? We’re lucky the open alehouses have ale,” the first voice replied.

“Damn it,” Selena said, rushing back to her barrel.

“And you’re sure no one will come looking in here?” the man asked.

“Can’t guarantee that,” the first voice said, now clearly belonging to a young woman. “Everything’s changing. It kinda sucks.”

“Tell me about it,” Selena muttered at the same time the man answered with the same statement.

“What about food?” he asked.

“Uh, there isn’t any,” the girl replied. “I can maybe try and find you some, but it wouldn’t be much. At least you‘ve got your flask, so you have something to drink.”

“Oh, that‘s not for drinking,” the man replied, off-handedly. “Listen, I don’t mean to complain, especially to such cute company, but I can’t hide out here without food and drink. These guys may be here a while.”

“I can’t hide you in my house,” the girl insisted.

“What about your bedroom?” the man asked, mischief in his voice.

“Eww, no!” The girl said. “You’re old enough to be my father.”

“Never stopped me before,” he said.

“I’m trying to HELP you, you dummy,” the girl replied.

“This place isn’t much help, though the company is charming.”

Suddenly, something in Selena’s back spasmed, and she shivered enough to set the barrel rocking.

“What was that?” the girl asked.

“Rats?” the man asked, sounding hopeful.

“Rats?” Selena asked, suddenly worried. She hated those furry little beasts.

“Not unless rats suddenly talk,” the girl said. Selena grimaced – she’d been caught.

“Come out slowly,” the man said. “I have a gun.”

“Okay, okay,” Selena said. “This might take a minute – this barrel’s pretty tight.”

“Hands first,” the man said.

Selena grimaced again, thinking of her lack of a shirt. “Uh, can I talk you out of that?”

“No,” the other two said together.

“Fine,” Selena grumbled, raising her hands and slowly standing up.

To say that the two were surprised to see her coming out of the barrel half naked was an understatement. The man, who was in his early forties, had his eyes wide open, while the girl, no more than sixteen had her hand over her mouth.

“I, uh, I guess you aren’t much of a threat,” the man replied, lowering the pistol he carried, and hanging it on his belt next to a metal flask.

“Only to your sensibilities,” Selena grumbled. “So, you’re hiding from Pirates or Vikings?” she asked.

“Both,” he replied. “You?”

“Both,” she agreed. “I’m on the Port ship.”

“Little young for a sailor, aren’t you?” the girl asked.

“And you’re old enough to tell me not to?” Selena countered. “What’s your deal?”

“I live here on Isla Sorna – well, for now. I’d like to leave, now that the Pirates have taken over.”

“Join the club,” Selena muttered.

“Debby Ryan,” the girl said, offering Selena her hand. Selena shook it, then remembered she was topless, and moved to cover herself. “I, uh, don’t suppose you have a spare shirt somewhere, Debby?”

“The pirates burned my house down last night,” she said, shaking her head. “Only clothes I have are the ones on my back.”

“Wait, if you’re from the Port ship,” the man spoke up, “Why are you still here?”

“My captain got captured last night, and the Vikings have our ship surrounded. I can’t get back,” Selena replied. “Why, what’s your deal?”

“Names Nathan Fillion, and until a few weeks ago, I was a Pirate.”

“What happened a few weeks ago?” Selena asked.

“I stole something from the Pirate Queen, and she didn’t take kindly to it,” he muttered. “I managed to escape here to Isla Sorna, but now the Pirates have shown up, and I need to hide.”

“Wait a second – do you know where the Pirate base is?”

“Hammerhead Atoll?” Fillion asked. “Yeah, that’s where I escaped from.”

“Could you lead a ship back there?” Selena asked.

“I could – I wouldn’t WANT to, but I could,” Fillion replied.

“Nathan, I think it’s time you and I made a deal,” Selena said, grinning wildly.

* * *

“I could dye my hair blonde,” Katharine McPhee said. “Maybe they wouldn’t recognize me.”

“I don’t think changing your hair is going to help matters,” Commander Jason Lambert muttered. “We’re still not going to be able to get past those Vikings just because you don’t look like you anymore.” They were now hidden a few houses down from where the Idol was surrounded, the previous owners of the house were quite dead on the ground floor, but their second floor window made for an excellent view of the small wall of crates, barrels, hay bails, discarded carts, and various other junk items lining the docks near the Idol. It also provided a nice view of the large number of Vikings and Pirates behind the wall, waiting for the crew still on the ship to make a move.

“Maybe we could steal a cart, fill it up with food or something, and pretend we’re going to feed the Vikings guarding the ship?” Demi Lovato suggested. “Then, when we’re close enough, we can make a break for it – I’m sure the rest of the crew would fire the cannons to help us get on board.”

“But what if Captain Clarkson and the others aren’t on board?” Kat asked. “We’d be stuck on the ship, and there’d be no one left in the town to help them.”

“We don’t know for sure they need help,” Lambert muttered.

“Guys?” Kellie Pickler spoke up from behind the group where she was still eating a plate of hastily scrambled eggs they’d managed to whip up downstairs. She was looking out the back window, making sure no one was coming up behind them.

“Not now, Pickler,” Lambert said. “If we could find enough rope, and a bow and arrow, we could shoot a line across to the ship, then slide on the rope over – we’d have to go pretty quickly, though, before they noticed us.”

“Where are we going to find THAT much rope?”

“Ironically, there’s enough on the ship,” Lambert said,

“Guys?” Pickler spoke up again.

“What about swimming from the other side of the harbor to the ship?” Katharine suggested. “They might not notice us…”

“They’re patrolling the entire harbor,” Lambert said. “Though if we found a hole in their pattern…”

“That still doesn’t help Captain Clarkson if she needs help,” Demi pointed out.

“GUYS!” Kellie called.

“What?” Lambert asked. “Pirates? Vikings?”

“Nope,” Kellie said around a mouthful of eggs. “Selena,” she said, jerking a thumb towards her window. “You guys sure you don’t want more eggs?”

“SELENA?” The rest gasped, running towards the window. Peering down, they saw a man and a young girl – not Selena – pushing a cart filled with barrels and some hay down the street.

“Pickle, that’s not Selena,” Katharine said.

“Look in one of the barrels towards the middle of the cart,” Pickle said. “She’s hiding in there. I don’t think she’s wearing a shirt…”

“It’s her!” Demi shouted, pointing towards the cart. Sure enough, hidden down low where anyone on the street wouldn’t see her, and half covered in spare hay, sat Selena Gomez. And, sure enough, if that skin-colored orb sticking out of the hay was one of her perky teenaged breasts, then she wasn’t wearing a shirt.

“We’ve gotta get to her,” Lambert said. “WITHOUT yelling,” he said quickly, looking at Demi and Kellie, who were trying to open the window.

“Demi, come with me. Kat, stay up here and keep an eye out. Pickle, watch the other window, same as you did this one.”

“Yes, sir,” all three girls said. Lambert grabbed Demi by the arm and practically shoved her out the door.

“Where are the others?” Demi asked as she followed Lambert down the stairs.

“Not with Selena, that much is for sure.” Lambert pressed himself against the doorway, gripping his sword as he looked out. There was the cart, just rolling by right now. As best he could tell, the man wasn’t armed, nor was the little girl helping him. But nothing had gone right on this island so far, so he kept his sword out.

“Hold it right there,” he said, stepping out.

“Ugh, fine by me,” the man said. “These barrels are heavy. I knew we should’ve gotten a horse or a mule.”

“You’re an ass,” the girl said.

“No, an ass is a mule – same thing, really.”

“Wasn’t the ass I meant,” the girl said.

Lambert ignored them. “Selena? Are you there?”

“Who?” the man asked. “No one here by that name. Just Debby and, uh, me. I’m not named Selena, that’s for sure.”

“Selena, come out!” Demi called out. “It’s us!”

“What part of ‘without yelling’ don’t you understand,” Lambert snarled at her.

“Demi?!” Selena asked, popping up from the barrel. “Demmers!”

“You know these people?” The girl pushing the cart asked.

“Sel!” Demi said, racing over and climbing up on the cart, ignoring the fact that she still wasn’t wearing pants.

“More little girls without clothes on,” the man said. “I’m guessing she does.”

“It’s my crew!” Selena said, trying to get out of the barrel. “Ugh, stupid barrel! Why won’t you work right?”

“Barrels are supposed to keep things in, Selena,” Lambert said. “And would you two keep it down?” Demi and Selena didn’t need to be told at that point, as Demi had reached Selena, and the two were locked in a passionate kiss.

“Awfully friendly, aren’t they?” the man pushing the car said, coming to stand by Lambert.

“Who the hell are you?” Lambert asked.

“Sorry, no time for introductions,” Selena said, pulling off Demi’s face for a moment. “The Pirates have Captain Clarkson and the others.”

“I should’ve known,” Lambert muttered. “What else can you tell me?”

“The lead pirate is some bitch named Xmas, or Xlash, or something like that,” Selena said, returning her lips to Demi’s.

“Xtina?!” Lambert and the other man said together, both alarmed.

“Yeah, you guys know her?” Selena asked as Demi started to kiss her boobs.

“Uh, would you two like some privacy to catch up?” The little girl asked.

“No time,” Lambert said. “Selena, where’s the captain?”

“I can answer that,” the man said. “Nathan Fillion, ex-pirate at your service.”


“Long story,” Fillion said. “I can take you to your Captain, and I’m willing to help rescue her, but you gotta agree to the deal Selena and I made earlier.”

“Deal?” Lambert asked, dubious.

“You can trust him – he totally helped me find you guys,” Selena said.

“But we found you,” Lambert said.

“Details, details,” Fillion said. “Let’s go rescue your captain and get the hell off this island.”

* * *

Despite the havoc, bloodshed, and looting that had torn the island apart through the night, many of the Pirates had remained close to their captain, who’d holed up in one of the larger bars on Isla Sorna, the Sorna Drinker. Capable of holding upwards of fifty or sixty people at a time, it was vastly overcrowded, especially when one considered the fact that their Captain had ordered a large portion of the first floor left empty save for a long wooden beam and three women tied to said beam. Also adding to the congestion was the fact that one of the upper rooms had been sequestered by Christina Aguilera as a personal bedroom, though she had yet to actually sleep in it.

“Oh, Oh, OH, OH FUCK!” Mary-Louise Parker gasped aloud as the solid, phallic object hammered home into her sopping wet pussy again, penetrating her fuller and deeper than any cock she’d ever had. The former farmer’s daughter who’d grown up to know a little too much about how to mix and match plants for the best results, was currently on her stomach, her pert little ass in the air as her pussy was pounded from behind. Mary-Louise hadn’t worn clothes since Xtina Aguilera had dragged her in to the bedroom and ordered her to strip. That had been hours ago, most of that time spent servicing the fake cock strapped to the Pirate Captain, either with her mouth or with her pussy.

Mary-Louise Parker didn’t particularly care for other women as sex partners – she liked men, with good thick cock and muscular bodies. She could have sex with men for days on end. Women just didn’t come with the right equipment.

That said, she had climaxed on Xtina’s strap-on cock a half-dozen times already. Maybe it was time she rethought the idea.

“Aren’t you done with her yet?” Dina Meyer asked warily from the doorway.

“Why, do you want a turn, Your Highness?” Xtina asked.

“You do have other issues to deal with,” Michelle Rodriguez muttered, looking over her shoulder down to the floor below where the three captive Port Sailors were laying tied to the wooden beam on the floor.

“You have a point, mercenary,” Xtina said, pulling out of Parker’s pussy. “Don’t go anywhere, luv,” she said, smacking Mary-Louise on the ass. “I’m not done with you yet.”

“Is fucking people all you think about?” Dina Meyer demanded as they walked out of the room, around the long walkway above the bar proper, before they could reach the stairs.

“Nah, sometimes I think about killing people and stealing their goods, Your Highness,” Xtina replied. “I am a Pirate, after all.”

“Never would have guessed,” Meyer muttered.

“Now, I’m going to go down there and fuck some Port Sailors, then I’m going to kill them, then I’m going to come back up and fuck your little servant in there, and THEN we can deal with all the little issues you have here,” Xtina said, shooting Meyer a sly look. “Unless you want to fuck me right now. I’ll even let you eat my pussy.”

“Tempting,” Meyer said, deadpanned. “And yet, I’ll turn you down.”

“Why? Don’t you like girls, Your Highness?”

“I like girls more than I like you,” Meyer said.

“Careful, Your Highness,” Xtina said. “I might just decide I don’t like you – and then realize I don’t really need a Queen to run this place.”

Meyer didn’t respond to that – how could she, with several dozen pirates glaring at them as they came down the stairs.

They’d reached the bottom of the stairs by now, passing half drunk Vikings and half unconscious pirates as they went. Xtina lead the way, her hips swaying seductively, her breasts bouncing as she jumped up on the small platform that held the three prisoners above the floor.

“Now, now, now, who do we have here?” Xtina asked, swaggering across the small platform to where the wooden beam kept the three women suspended above the floor while still bent over at the waist. They were on their knees, and as per ordered, all three had their pants around their ankles, leaving their bottoms bare.

Xtina walked up to Jordin Sparks first, and ran her hand over the younger woman’s coco colored skin before spanking her ass hard.

“OUCH!” Jordin gasped.

“Oh, hush, my chocolate colored dream,” Xtina said. “I’m going to do so much worse to you in a bit.”

“Let them go,” Captain Clarkson said.

“Oh, now sweetie, that’s not going to hap-” Xtina stopped dead in her tracks. “Sweetness! Look at your ass! It has to be one of the most perfect examples of a rear end I’ve ever seen! You make me forget about my chocolate colored dream here, and put little blondie here to shame.”

“Blondie? Really?” Carrie Underwood muttered.

“Hush, blondie, I’m busy admiring your captain’s ass.” Xtina dropped to her knees and ran her hands over Kelly’s rear. “This is a work of art – it’s the perfect shape in every way.”

“Gee, thanks – can we go now?” Kelly muttered.

“Not until I’ve had this rear end,” Xtina said, running her tongue gently over one cheek before standing up again. “But alas! I must show restraint!”

“Really?” Dina Meyer asked, surprised.

“Yes, yes – that ass must be savored, feasted upon and lingered over. Treated like the fine meal it truly is – except I won’t be eating it, I’ll be fucking it.”

“Of course,” Michelle Rodriguez said, rolling her eyes.

“Shouldn’t you be, I don’t know, asking them questions about their ship?” Meyer said. “Finding out how we can get their crew to surrender, how many more of them are loose in the city, things like that.”

Xtina turned around and pulled on Carrie Underwood’s head, yanking her head back. “You, blondie, you going to tell us any of that?”

“Go to hell,” Carrie muttered.

“Thought not,” Xtina said, dropping Carrie’s head back before moving on to Jordin. “What about you, Chocolate Dream? You feel like telling me all you ship’s deep, dark secrets?”

“Never!” Jordin said, her voice quivering a bit.

“Hmmm, you might talk eventually. Remind me to try again once I’ve loosened your tongue a bit.” Xtina whirled about theatrically. “There. I asked your questions, got the answers I expected – which was basically none – and now it’s time to move on to my fun!”

“As opposed to all the fun you’ve already been having,” Meyer snorted.

“Exactly! That’s the spirit, Your Highness!” Xtina whirled about again and walked back over to Kelly Clarkson. “Now, Captain Perfect Ass, let me ask you a question. You’re going last – that wonderful specimen of rear end is going to be my greatest conquest ever. But both of your little sailors here are perfectly suitable for an ass fucking. I’ll let you decide which one gets pummeled first.”

“Let them go,” Kelly said firmly.

“Not an option,” Xtina said, pulling Kelly’s hair harshly. “Try again.”

“Let them go,” Kelly said again, “And you can do whatever you want to me.”

“Ooh. Tempting. Very, very tempting,” Xtina said, pausing to consider. “Would you let me fuck your ass until I pass out from exhaustion.”

Kelly grimaced. “Yes.”

“Would you eat my pussy for an entire night, until you fill your belly with my sweet, sweet nectar?”

“Yes,” the captain replied sourly.

“Would you go down on my partners here while I slammed my prized strap-on dildo into your honey pot until you exploded with passionate sex the likes of which you’ve never experienced before, only to have me turn right around and do it all over again?”

“Yes?” Kelly said, sounding a bit confused at that one.

Xtina paused for a moment. “Eh, well, too bad – I’m going to do most of that anyway. But first I’m going to fuck your friends!”

“Nice try, Captain,” Jordin Sparks said.

“We appreciate it,” Carrie Underwood muttered.

“Hush, now, sweet dumplings,” Xtina said. “I shall choose between you the old fashioned way.” She stood before the two women and reached into the panties behind her strap-on. She rummaged around a little bit, mostly for show, then yanked out a gold coin. “Don’t ask where I keep my gold bullion,” she said, winking at the others. She held the coin before Carrie and Jordin, showing them both sides.

“This is heads – I love forcing girls to give head to my strap-on. It’s so demeaning and sexist, don’t you think?” Xtina asked over her shoulder.

No one answered.

“And this is tails – which is where I’ll be fucking you both – in your rear ends. Blondie, you’ll be heads, and Chocolate Dream, you’ll be tails. Everyone ready for the flip?”

Again no one answered.

“HELLO!” Xtina shouted. “Pirate Captain demanding attention!”

The half-drunk pirates around the place raised up long enough to cheer before collapsing back into their stupors.

“Ah, you can’t get good help like that these days,” Xtina said, beaming. She took the coin and flipped it into the air, watching it twist and turn as it flew. It reached it’s arc and started to come down. Xtina took three quick steps back and let the gold piece hit the floor, causing it to bounce one, twice, three times before it came to a stop.

“Heads!” She screamed aloud, laughing like a banshee. “C’mere, Blondie – time for Xtina to feast!”

* * *

The last of the Council Members had left, the major problems had been addressed, and for a moment – just a moment – Queen Natalie Portman had a few quiet moments to herself.

Or as close to “herself” as she could get with two overprotective guards prowling around the room and two Ladies in Waiting hanging on her every word. Sometimes, being Queen sucked.

“I should probably run a perimeter check,” Stana Katic said. “Maybe double check that the guards are all where they should be.”

“You mean like you did ten minutes ago?” Michael Hayesworth muttered. “You’ve done enough, Stana. Go relax. You need your rest too, or you’re body will fail you when we need you most.”

“Are you sure?” Katic asked. “I mean, I can-”

“Go, Stana,” Queen Natalie said. “And don’t come back until tomorrow morning, or I’ll have you thrown in irons. In fact, you won’t be let back in tomorrow morning until I’ve heard that you’ve not only gotten a full night’s sleep, but two good meals and at least an hour in the Reserved Pools and an hour long massage. Molly, write that down and make sure the massage room is alerted.”

“Yes, your Highness,” young Molly Quinn replied.

“As you wish, my Queen – but I’m willing to come back at any time, day or night-”

“If we need you, we’ll call for you,” Hayesworth said, practically shoving the woman out the door. A moment later she was gone, Molly not far behind her, delivering the Queen’s orders.

“You’d like to be alone,” Hayesworth said, smiling up at his Queen.

“I’d like everything to be magically fixed, but right now, alone sounds wonderful.”

“Shouldn’t leave you alone without help, but I can certainly wait outside the door if you and Ginnifer would like to… freshen up, or even get a nap,” he said.

“If I’m in my bed, I hope you are there,” Natalie said, smiling. “What I could use is some quiet time.”

As if on cue, there was a knock at the door. Hayesworth opened it a crack and exchanged words with the guard at the door before turning back to his Queen. “It’s Secretary of State Cook, your Highness.”

Natalie sighed once, then brightened a bit. “Send her in. Maybe she’d like to join me for a quiet tea.”

“I’ll got get the tea started, your Highness,” Ginnifer Goodwin said, bowing slightly before leaving out the side door.

Rachael Leigh Cook entered, and to Natalie’s surprise, Hayesworth slipped out into the hallway, leaving them alone for a moment.

“Rachael, tell me it’s nothing urgent.”

“Not unless unseemly castle gossip and some maple candies is considered urgent,” Rachael said, smiling.

“Maple candies, you say?” Natalie said, her eyes going wide with delight. “What’s the occasion?”

“The occasion is that for the first time since the Pirates attacked, I have unseemly castle gossip to tell, and as your friend, I know that by now you MUST need an hour or so to just sit and gossip like we used to back in school.”

“Before I was Queen,” Natalie sighed at the memories. She stood up and motioned her friend over towards a loveseat off to the side of the room. “Rachael, you are clairvoyant.”

“Something like that,” Rachael said, sitting down next to Natalie and pulling out a small wooden box with a handful of maple candies in it. “Now, you’ll never guess who I walked in on totally having a threesome in the Reserved Massage room…”

* * *

“That’s it, Chocolate Dream – get me nice and wet so I don’t hurt your friend when I fuck her ass,” Christina Aguilera said as she shoved more of her strap-on dildo down Jordin Sparks throat. Jordin started to gag on the lacquered wood, and Xtina pulled out.

“Ah, who am I kidding? I’m going to hurt your friend anyway!” She laughed aloud as she walked around the wooden beam and came up behind Carrie Underwood, who was trying very hard to look calm and stoic before she was raped by one of the nastiest Pirates in all of Celebria.

Xtina got down on her knees – the bar was set up specifically so that each of the three women’s asses were aligned so that they could be easily fucked by the tiny pirate woman. For a moment, Xtina ran the tip of her famous strap-on along Carrie Underwood’s slit, sending a frightened jolt through the blonde before realigning herself with the tiny rosebud of Carrie’s ass.

“Are you ready?” Xtina asked, more to the small crowd of onlookers than to Carrie herself.

“Will you wait if I say no?” Carrie asked.

In response, Xtina shoved the whole seven inches of wood right up Carrie’s rear end.

“AUUUGGHHHHH!!!!” Carrie screamed, though Xtina’s laughter could be heard over her cries.

“Oh, you’ve got a sweet ass here, Blondie,” Xtina said, already pulling out and pushing in. “You’ve been fucked up here before, haven’t you? Eh, no matter – anal virgins aren’t THAT scarce. Except on my boats – probably on my Island before long, too.”

“Your island?” Dina Meyer spoke up, surprised by that comment.

“Bite your tongue, Your Highness, unless you want to be strapped down here and gotten to before I fuck Captain Perfect Ass!”

Meyer fell silent.

Xtina was breathing hard now, actively fucking away at Carrie’s ass. Carrie had tears running down her cheeks, but her nipples were hard and her pussy was wet. She wasn’t the biggest fan of anal sex, but she’d enjoyed it in the past.

She would never have chosen Xtina the Pirate as a lover anyway.

“Oh, fuck, you’re ass is very nice, Blondie. Has Captain Perfect Ass ever fucked it?” Xtina asked, actually slapping Carrie’s rear as she spoke. “Can you cum if I fuck you hard enough? I’d love to see that!”

“Oh, oh FUCK!” Carrie cried out as Xtina shoved particularly hard into her. Suddenly, burried to the hilt, Xtina lay down on Carrie’s back, reaching around with one hand to grab a breast hanging from Carrie’s undone shirt, the other pulling a knife, which was placed at Carrie’s throat.

“You have two chances to live, Blondie,” Xtina said, humping gently as Carrie’s ass. “You can cum before I grow tired of fucking you, then clean my strap-on with your mouth before I do Chocolate Dream over there, or you can pledge your undying loyalty to me, my ship, my crew, and my future crown as Pirate Queen – and then kill your friends when I tell you to. Which will it be?”

“Fuck me, oh Pirate Queen Xtina,” Carrie said quickly. “You make me so hot, fucking my ass like that. I’m your slut whore, and if you keep fucking me, I’m going to cum.”

Xtina shrugged and slid the knife back behind her back. Giving Carrie’s breast one more squeeze, she started thrusting away again.

It didn’t take very long at all before Carrie was writhing in pleasure from the assault, moaning in ecstasy and lust for more. Xtina was merciless, and Carrie took every thrust like a trooper.

And then, to everyone’s surprise, Carrie Underwood climaxed in front of them all.

“OH, FUCK YES, YES, YEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!! FUCK MY TIGHT LITTLE ASS, YOU’RE MAKING ME CUMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!” She bellowed at the top of her lungs. Her body went stiff, and then went slack a moment later, her head hanging down like a rag doll for a long moment.

“Well,” Jordin Sparks said, her voice tinged with awe. “I’m turned on now.”

Even Xtina was surprised. Looking suspicious, she reached down and shoved three fingers into Carrie’s snatch. She pulled them out covered in girl cum.

“Impressive,” Xtina muttered, walking around the beam again, stopping just long enough to wipe her fingers off on Jordin’s ass before standing before Carrie’s face again. Grabbing the mop of blonde hair, Xtina yanked her head up to see Carrie’s dazed expression.

“You still gotta suck, Blondie,” Xtina muttered, popping Carrie’s mouth open with her free hand before shoving the cock in.

Carrie’s eyes went wide as she gagged for a second, but soon she was lavishing attention on the wooden cock, doing her best to treat the thing like a lover’s cock. Xtina tried to make it more punishment, shoving the dildo as far into Carrie’s mouth as she could several times before finally giving up and pulling it out.

To no one’s surprise, the lacquered wood shined brightly with Carrie’s saliva.

“Seems you’re in luck, Chocolate Dream,” Xtina snarled, looking down at Carrie. “Your friend did a much better job lubing me up with her mouth before I fuck your ass. You should thank her later. When you’re both dead.”

Xtina hopped over the beam, nearly landing on Carrie’s foot as she rushed to get behind Jordin. She didn’t even ask the young sailor if she was ready this time, she just shoved all seven inches into Jordin’s ample ass and began fucking.

“OH MY GOD!” Jordin screamed at the penetration.

“Shut it, bitch – your friend’s made me angry, and if you aren’t careful, I’ll take it out on you!”

Jordin bit her lip to keep from saying anything.

“Good bitch,” Xtina said, thrusting even harder into Jordin’s backside. “Now, let’s see if you can cum like Blondie did, or if I’m going to have to slit your throat.”

“Oh, I’ll cum,” Jordin said, her voice already ragged. “I love anal.”

“Do you now?” Xtina muttered, increasing her assault.

“Oh, fuuuckkk,” Jordin moaned, low and soft. She started shoving her ass back to meet each thrust from Xtina, as if begging for more.

“Damn you sailor bitches,” Xtina muttered, slapping Jordin’s ass. Hard. Then she slapped it again. And again. Soon she was slapping and fucking at the same time, wearing herself out. Jordin took it all, grunting and moaning as each thrust brought her closer to climax – and each slap took her a step back.

Finally, Xtina just grabbed Jordin’s hips with both hands and pounded away with her strap-on. The Pirate’s hips were practically a blur, slamming back and forth like a woman possessed until Jordin finally came.

“ohmyGawdI’mCummingI’MCUMMINGFUCKMEFUCKMEFUCKMEYESYESYESYEEESSSSSSSSS FUCK!” Jordin hollered loud enough to make the others in the room grimace with pain in their ears. Caught off guard, Xtina fell back on her own ass and nearly rolled off the platform holding the beam and women up. As she looked up, she could see juices dripping out of Jordin’s pussy, clearly marking her as having cum, too.

With a roar, Xtina leapt up and raced around the beam, dropping to her knees before Jordin and shoving the strap-on that had just been in her own ass into the poor sailor’s mouth.

“Eat it, Chocolate Dream, you whore!” Xtina screamed. “Eat it and like it! It’s going in your Captain’s ass next!” She took both hands and grabbed Jordin’s hair, fucking her face almost as hard as she’d fucked the younger girl’s ass for a solid minute before pulling out and slapping Jordin in the face.

“You two are good, I’ll give you that,” Xtina said, fury in her eyes. She stood up slowly, stalking towards Kelly Clarkson, with only one thing on her mind now. With every slow step, some of the anger seemed to seethe out of the Pirate and the lust slipped back in.

“Captain Perfect Ass – can I just call you Perfect Ass? Your rear end really deserves that title.”

“Call me whatever you want, you sicko,” Kelly muttered. “You just raped two members of my crew – I won’t forget that.”

“Aww, if only you were going to live long enough to do something about it,” Xtina muttered. She dropped down in front of Kelly’s face, reaching beneath her to squeeze her breasts. “My my, these are nice, too. I bet all the boys love getting you into the sack. Do you have a boyfriend? Maybe someone back in Port, hoping you’ll return home soon, victorious in your defeat of us awful pirates?”

“No,” Kelly said darkly.

“Aww, too bad. I’d send him a letter describing everything I’m about to do to you. Sure, he wouldn’t have gotten it until you were dead and feeding the fishes, but I’m sure he would’ve loved reading about all the awful sexy things you and I are going to do before I finally kill you.”

“I’m sure,” Kelly said sourly. “Can we just get on with it?”

“You’re in a hurry? Going somewhere? Important things to do?” Xtina laughed.

“Yeah – I gotta hurry up and kill you for hurting my crew.”

“Aww, you’re so predictable, Captain Perfect Ass.” Xtina leaned in close and kissed Kelly on the lips. It was a slow, tender kiss, and as they kissed, Xtina stared right into Kelly’s eyes.

“I know you hate me, Captain Perfect Ass,” Xtina whispered to Kelly. “But I already love you, and I’m going to love fucking you senseless.”

“Go to hell,” Kelly snarled.

“Awww, sweet nothings in my ears! You really know how to turn a girl on!” Xtina gave Kelly one more quick kiss before jumping up and walking around to come in behind Kelly. There she dropped to her knees, but in a surprise move, she leaned in and kissed each cheek of Kelly’s ass.

“This ass is so perfect, it deserves to be celebrated. Attention should be lavished on it.” With that, she spread the cheeks before her and ran her tongue from the very top all the way down the crack, over the anal bud, down to the base of Kelly’s pussy lips. Kelly shuddered at the unexpected gentleness, surprised the vicious Pirate who’d just raped her two friends was being this soft with her. Xtina reversed directions and went back up, slowing just a bit as she crossed over Kelly’s backdoor again before shooting back up.

“So wonderful. Where has this ass been all my life?” Xtina said, practically giddy. “I could cum just from licking you – I haven’t been this turned on by one woman in ages!”

“Please, just get it over with,” Kelly snarled as Xtina’s tongue returned to her ass.

“You don’t like?” Xtina asked, sounding hurt.

“I hate you!” Kelly shouted. “You whore, just FUCK ME already and be done with it!”

“You’re worried I’m going to hurt you!” Xtina said. “Well, you probably should be. But not for a while, anyway. You really do have the most perfect rear end in the world, Captain Perfect Ass. If I didn’t think you’d run away at the first chance you got, I’d keep you as my pet. Would you like that?” Xtina asked, dipping a finger into Kelly’s pussy, sending a jolt up her spine. “Would you like being my little pet? My naked little sex slave, whose ass I worship every night when I get home.”

“H-how many times do I have to tell you to go to hell?” Kelly stammered as Xtina started to finger fuck her.

“Too bad,” Xtina said, sounding genuinely sorry. “Well, you have until I kill you to change your mind. Maybe if I make you cum enough you’ll reconsider.”

With that, Xtina placed her head back between Kelly’s ass cheek and darted her tongue into Kelly’s rosebud, all while still finger fucking Kelly’s pussy.

“Oh, fuck,” Kelly moaned.

* * *

As Christina Aguilera began to slowly fuck and suck Kelly Clarkson into a lusty stupor, the crowd in the Sorna Drinker grew a bit. Most of the Vikings were ignoring the proceedings, while most of the Pirates were either drunk enough to have passed out, or about a drink or two shy of that.

The first man to enter since the show started got there shortly after Xtina finished forcing her cock into Jordin’s mouth, and had moved on towards Kelly. Face hidden by a hood, he took up position at a free table near the stairs and surreptitiously watched as the Pirate Captain groped, kissed, licked, sucked, fucked, and did every other possible thing to Captain Kelly to try and seduce her. He’d grabbed a mug of ale on his way in, and with every move Xtina made on the other woman, the harder he squeezed the handle of his mug. By the time Kelly had started to moan in pleasure, his knuckles were white.

Next came a pair of bartenders, both charmingly attractive women with ample breasts and cheery smiles. They slid behind the bar and quietly shoved the woman who’d been working there all night out the back door. One was a brunette with long, flowing hair, the other a blonde with a shorter do. What few men took notice of their arrival paid more attention to their chests than what they were doing, and as long as they got their drinks, they were happy. Both women, however, seemed very ill-at-ease with what was going on up on the platform as Kelly Clarkson climaxed on Xtina’s fingers.

Finally, another man entered the room, already swaying like a common drunk. He held an empty bottle in his hands, and he barely made it to the bar without collapsing on his feet. As more than half the patrons were already as bad or worse than him, no one paid him any attention. The brunette bartender got him a large bottle of grog to drink from, and he sauntered off towards the table where the first man was sitting. He collapsed into the chair at about the same moment Xtina lined her strap-on up with Kelly Clarkson’s asshole, which was now more than well treated by Xtina’s own tongue.

Four people had entered the bar, and not one person had really noticed, nor were they likely to anytime soon.

Considering how insane what those four people were trying to do was, they’d been incredibly lucky so far.

* * *

Compared to how she’d violated Carrie Underwood and Jordin Sparks, the slow but steady way Christina Aguilera pushed into Kelly Clarkson’s ass was practically loving. Still, she didn’t stop until all seven inches were deep inside Kelly’s perfect rear end, and for a long moment, Xtina just rested inside it, running her hands down along the perfect skin on the perfect ass cheeks.

“This is wonderful,” Xtina said, leaning forward to nibble on Kelly’s ear a bit. “Do you love it yet? Are you totally willing to be my slave yet?”

Kelly said nothing – it was hard to talk considering she was halfway to her second orgasm of the assault already.

Then Xtina started fucking her ass with the strap-on, and suddenly she was a lot closer than halfway to that orgasm.

Xtina had fucked the asses of men and women all over Celebria, and in doing so, she’d developed an almost supernatural skill to provide pleasure through her strap-on to whatever ass she was fucking. And in all her travels, she’d never met an ass that had impressed her as much as Kelly Clarkson’s had.

Xtina wasn’t a woman who truly believed in love – she’d never really felt the emotion herself. But infatuation she knew quite well, and she’d never been as infatuated with an ass like she was right now.

All this, plus her earlier efforts with Carrie Underwood and Jordin Sparks lead to a decidedly unexpected result. As Xtina fucked Kelly, she started to feel her own orgasm building. And while it wasn’t unheard of for her to cum when fucking other people up the ass, it never happened this fast, and almost never without more traditional sexual stimulation involved somewhere earlier in the night.

But Kelly Clarkson and her perfect ass was just that good – at least to Xtina’s mind.

Finally, she could take no more. Christina “Xtina” Aguilera made one more powerful thrust into Kelly Clarkson’s ass, and orgasmed harder than she ever had in her life.

The room went silent as Xtina’s back arched, and her entire body went stiff. She didn’t scream or cry out, didn’t pant or moan, didn’t even fidget. She just went rigid for a moment. Had anyone been able to look under the strap-on at her panties, they would’ve found a fair amount of pussy juice leaking into Xtina’s panties, but no one could see that.

And then, Xtina just collapsed to the floor, her strap-on falling out of Kelly’s ass with an audible *POP*, leaving the Pirate Captain quivering on the floor, fighting to catch her breath.

“Most perfect ass ever,” Xtina said hoarsely.

And then the entire room exploded into chaos.

* * *

“Don’t you accuse ME of cheating at cards, you scallywag!” A voice hollered out. With everyone’s attention focused on where Xtina lay on the floor panting, the hollering caught everyone by surprise. The fact that a moment later a table and chairs went flying halfway across the room to crash into two of the largest Vikings still in the bar quickly drew attention away from the scene up front.

It also woke up every unconscious Pirate in the building. And like all good drunk pirates, the first thing they did when woken up by shattering furniture and shouts and screams was start fighting with each other.

In the space of three seconds, the entire room became a giant bar fight. Chaos ruled the day.

Which was good, because it had been the plan Jason Lambert and Nathan Fillion had come up with before entering the place to begin with.

Now their only problem was getting back out again.

Fillion ducked a flying dagger, shooting a look across at Lambert. “Maybe this wasn’t my best idea.”

“Too late now! Get to the bar!” Lambert shouted, kicking a pirate between the legs and dropping the man like a stone. Chairs, bottles, knives, even people were flying across the room as Vikings attacked pirates, pirates started punching other pirates, and basically everyone was swinging at anyone else around them. If anyone could see what was going on, they had to be in a good position – like at the bar.

A man grabbed Lambert and kicked him in the ass, sending him reeling across the floor, half bent over until he slammed into another person, who went tumbling with him into a pair of stools next to the bar.

“Get off me, you lout!” Dina Meyer shouted, slapping Lambert in the face, throwing the hood he’d been hiding his face under off his head. She got one good look at him, and her eyes went wide with anger.

“YOU!” She screamed.

“Shut up!” Lambert said, punching her in the face. Her head slammed back against the bar and she slumped to the floor, quiet.

“Remind me not to get you pissed off, Commander.”

Lambert looked up to see Kellie Pickler smiling down at him from over the bar. She held his sword in her hand, giving it to him as he stood up. Next to her, Katharine McPhee was smashing a bottle over the unprotected head of another pirate, who collapsed to the ground next to Lambert. Stooping down, he grabbed the Pirate’s sword out of his scabbard and handed it back to Pickler.

“Are they here yet?” he asked her.

“Just getting in now,” McPhee said, looking up at the stage. Lambert turned around, dodging a punch that got the Viking who’d thrown it skewered by Lambert’s sword in the armpit. As the larger man fell away, Lambert got one good look at the platform where his crewmates were being held. Sure enough, sneaking in through a side window, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, and the Debby Ryan girl were racing to free them, knives ready to cut the ropes holding them in place.

“I love it when a plan comes together!” Fillion said as he stumbled back against the bar, a pair of Pirates coming at him with their bare hands.

“Men,” McPhee snorted, “Can’t do anything without us, can you?“ She threw a bottle at one of the pirates. It thumped hard against his skull, dropping him to the floor, the bottle shattering as it joined him there. The second pirate turned to see what happened to his friend, and turned back just in time to get a roundhouse punch from Fillion to the jaw. The pirate joined his friend on the floor, and Fillion was left cradling his hand.

“Ouch,” he cried. “That hurt!”

“Wuss,” McPhee said, grabbing another bottle.

“Hey, is that Astemian Whiskey?” Fillion asked, looking at the bottle.

“Uh, I guess so?” McPhee asked, wondering why he was asking.

“Got any more?”

“You’re kidding, right?”

“It’s important,” Fillion insisted, taking the first bottle and sliding it into a pocket inside his coat. McPhee grabbed another bottle – again, Astemian Whiskey – and it hit the pocket on the other side of Fillion’s coat, near his closely-guarded flask. Then the next thing either one knew, hands were grabbing Fillion by the shoulders and hauling him back into the fight.

“Men,” McPhee said, chucking another bottle into the fight.

“Can’t live with them, can’t kill them for not being women,” Kellie Pickler giggled next to her.

* * *

“Demi?” Kelly Clarkson asked as the young girl dropped down to her knees before the Captain and started cutting the ropes binding her to the beam.

“Hey Captain. Long time, no see,” Demi said. “Hang on, we’ll get you right out.”

“What happened to your pants?” Kelly asked.

“Lost ‘em,” Demi said, getting one hand free. Next to her, Debby Ryan had Carrie Underwood almost completely free now, while Selena Gomez was stuggling with cutting the ropes on Jordin Sparks.

“I hate rope cutting,” Selena muttered.

“Selena?!” Kelly cried out. “You found the others!”

“Technically, they found us,” Debby Ryan said, helping Carrie to her feet – the doctor immediately dropped back down to pull her pants up.

“Who are you?” Kelly asked as she got loose, too, and Demi raced over to help Selena free Jordin.

“Oh, Hi!” Debby said, offering Kelly her hand. “I’m Debby Ryan. I live here on Isla Sorna – well, I did live here until the pirates burned my house down. Which stinks, because now I don’t have anywhere to live or any clothes – if I had extra clothes, I’d share them with Demi and Selena, who clearly need some, as they’re both half naked, and this really isn’t the sort of situation you want-”

“Nice to meet you, shut up, please,” Kelly said. Jordin was free now, pulling her pants up.

“CAPTAIN!” a voice called out across the room. Kelly turned to see Katharine McPhee tossing a sword in her direction. With years of practiced skill, Kelly snatched it out of the air, suddenly feeling a lot better now that she was armed.

“CAPTAIN!” Kellie Pickler shouted, pointing into the crowd. There, fighting for his life, was Jason Lambert. Outnumbered, out matched, and slowly being backed into a corner. The damn fool had risked his life to come save Kelly, even when the smart thing to do would be to get back to the ship and run for it.

Kelly dove into the fight, sword swinging.

She was a damn fool herself sometimes. And if Xtina happened to get in the way before she was done, well that would just be icing on the cake.

* * *

Michelle Rodriguez had no idea what was going on, but when she finally managed to get her way out of the fight and got a good look at who was on the stage rushing towards a window, she knew instantly what had happened. There, still topless as she’d been last time Michelle had seen her, was the gorgeous young Selena Gomez, trying to run and keep her breasts covered with her hands at the same time.

“You’re mine, bitch,” Michelle swore, pulling her sword and heading for the stage. She didn’t get far. A moment later, she tripped over the still prone form of Christina Aguilera.

“What the hell is going on in here?!” Xtina demanded, finally coming to her senses as Michelle helped her to her feet.

“What do you think’s happening?” Michelle screamed at her. “The missing Port Sailors have come to rescue their captain! They’ve turned the whole bar into a battlefield!” She screamed, turning back towards the stage -

- and right into Jordin Sparks who was holding a chair above her head.

“Guess you better go and get your armor,” Sparks quipped, bringing the chair smashing down across Michelle’s head.

The Mercenary dropped to the floor.

* * *

Kelly Clarkson stabbed a Viking in the throat and managed to elbow a pirate in the back of the head as she yanked her sword free, and then the next thing she knew she was back-to-back with Jason Lambert.

“Some rescue!” She hollered at him as she blocked a sword from slashing her chest. “You got in here, did you have a plan for getting out?”

“He’s the brains, Captain!” Lambert snarled back, jerking a thumb at the man standing behind him, using the discarded limb of a chair to whack people over the head. Clarkson took one look at Nathan Fillion, Fillion looked back, and both their eyes went wide.

“YOU?!?!” They both shouted in angry surprise.

“You two know each other?” Lambert guessed, stabbing a pirate and kicking his body into two more.

“You could say that,” Fillion replied.

“I thought you were dead!” Clarkson shouted at him.

“I was – at least as far as the Port Fleet was concerned,” Fillion said, a touch of bitterness in his voice.

“Can we please fight the guys with swords and axes now, and fight amongst ourselves later?!” Lambert pleaded with them, ducking another thrown bottle.

“Hate to say it, Commander, but we seem to be running out of room here.” Sure enough, they were rapidly being backed into a corner.

“Damn it,” Clarkson said.

“Pickle! Kat! Get out NOW!” Lambert shouted across the bar. He glanced over towards the stage, and saw Demi Lovato flash the entire place as she jumped through the window they’d come in from. Carrie Underwood was right behind her, and the rest of the Idol crewers must have already been outside.

“Believe it or not, everything’s going as planned,” Lambert muttered.

“Except for us,” Fillion pointed out.

“Yeah, well, you get used to that with this crew,” Clarkson muttered.

“Hey, who just started a bar fight to save your ass?”

“You could’ve started it earlier and REALLY saved my ass before I got fucked up it!” Kelly snapped back.

“You two fight like an old married couple,” Fillion muttered. “Stairs.”

“What?” Lambert asked.

“Stairs! Go up!” Fillion said, pointing towards the stairs leading to the second level. Clarkson and Lambert traded looks, shrugged once, and made a break for it.

“Hey! Wait for me!” Fillion hollered after them.

* * *

“They’re getting away!” Dina Meyer shouted as she helped Michelle Rodriguez back up on her feet. The mercenary was checking her head for blood. Meyer had a serious black-and-blue on her chin. Only the Pirate Captain wasn’t injured yet.

“The hell they are,” Xtina snarled, standing on the back of a pirate next to her. “A hundred Gold Coins to the man who brings me those three alive!” She screamed over the crowd, pointing at where Clarkson, Lambert, and Fillion were scrambling up the stairs, dodging thrown bottles, knives, and even an axe as they ran.

Suddenly, the entire crowd stopped fighting with itself and turned towards the stairs, the room going deadly silent.

“Oh, fuck,” Nathan Fillion could be heard to muttered.

Then the room exploded in noise again.

* * *

“Run! Run Faster!” Nathan Fillion hollered as he raced past Clarkson and Lambert towards the far end of the hallway atop the second floor. The two sailors were right behind him, stopping occasionally to stab at one of their pursuers who’d gotten too close, though all that really did was allow more behind them to catch up.

“Where on earth did you find him?!” Clarkson asked Lambert as they raced to catch up with the other man.

“Pushing a cart filled with barrels, hay, and a half naked Selena Gomez,” Lambert replied. “Don’t ask.”

“Hurry, hurry! Hurrying would be good!” Fillion said as he held open the last door at the end of the hallway. The two Port sailors dove into the room, and Fillion slammed the door shut behind them.

“There’s no lock!” He screamed.

“Push something in front of it!” Clarkson said, racing to grab a chair and jam it under the door handle.

“Who are you people?” a new voice asked. All three turned to see a very naked Mary-Louise Parker standing by the window, giving them an odd look.

“Hello,” Fillion said, suddenly all charm. Lambert and Clarkson started to bar the door with whatever they found. “My name’s Nathan. What’s yours?”

“Mary-Louise,” she replied, giving him a small smile.

“Tell me, has there always been a brothel above this bar, or is that something new?” he asked.

There was a large thud at the door as people crashed into it, trying to break it down.

“Brothel?!” Parker exclaimed. “Just who do you think I am? Some kind of whore?”

“I think you’re the naked lady that’s between us and the only other way out,” Fillion said. “And as charming and lovely as you are, we’re in a hurry – though if you’d like to hook up later-”

“Fillion!” Kelly screamed. “Make a love connection on your own time! We’re in a hurry here!”

“Wait, you’re that Port Captain!” Parker said, her eyes going wide. “Captain Aguilera will kill me if I let you go!” She steeled herself in front of the open window.

“Oh, we don’t have time for this,” Fillion said. He reached out and placed a hand on each of Mary-Louise’s breasts-

-and shoved her right out the window.

* * *

Mary-Louise Parker had waited in that room for Xtina to return for what felt like hours. She’d ignored the screams of pain and pleasure that had wafted up from below, and then the sounds of the huge fight. She had a feeling that stuff like this happened a lot with pirates and Vikings. It sorta came with the territory, she suspected.

But then these two men had barged into her room, called her a whore, and shoved her out the window. This was all out of her realm of experiences. If she survived all this, she was never going to work with pirates again. Or Vikings. She was going back to Harvest and starting a farm. No one tried to kill you on a farm.

All this shot through her head as she fell backwards out the window. For a moment, she feared her life would pass before her eyes, but then her back slammed into the roof of the building built next to the Sorna Drinker. She hadn’t fallen more than a foot or two.

Of course, now she was rolling off the roof, which wasn’t much better. She screamed as she tumbled down to the left, and suddenly went airborne again, falling from the roof-

-and landing in a wagon filled with hay and some barrels.

Mary-Louise Parker sat up, thanked her good fortune, then collapsed back down into the hay. She was out cold when the wagon started to slowly roll down the street, moving a few houses down before it came to a stop again.

Well away from where it was supposed to be.

* * *

“Are you MAD?!” Kelly Clarkson screamed at Nathan Fillion. “You just shoved her out the window!”

“There’s another roof RIGHT HERE!” Fillion exclaimed. “She didn’t fall two feet!”

“Again, can we argue later?” Commander Lambert said, pushing them towards the window. They’d thrown everything but the bed in front of the door, but that hadn’t amounted to much – and someone was already using an axe on the door itself. They were rapidly running out of time.

“Time to go,” Fillion said, stepping out the window himself. “Hey, where did naked lady go?”

There was a huge crash behind them, and a large chunk of the door crash inwards, leaving enough space for Clarkson and Lambert to look back and see the snarling face of Xtina Aguilera looking back at them.

“Don’t you DARE run from me!” Xtina hollered, raising the battle axe she’d taken from a Viking and smashing the door some more.

“No, I think that’s exactly what we’re going to do!” Lambert said, shoving his Captain towards the window.

“I’m going, I’m going!” Kelly cried as she practically dove outside. Lambert was right behind her, stopping long enough to slam the window down behind him, as if that would stop anyone for long.

“Problem!” Fillion said, running up the steep roof towards them.

“Other than the huge crowd of people who want to kill us?” Clarkson exclaimed.

“Someone moved the cart!” Fillion said, pointing down towards the street.

“FUCK!” Lambert swore, venturing down enough to look himself. Suddenly, a face jumped up from the street to look at him. It was Kellie Pickler.

“It’s down the street, Commander!” She called. “Do you want to wait for us to go get it?” She asked.

Something heavy crashed into the window behind him, shattering glass.

“NO!” All three of the roof-bound sailors answered.

“Get the others!” Lambert said as he, Clarkson, and Fillion raced towards the next building, a larger warehouse-type from the looks of it. “We’ll meet you there!”

The glass in the window came crashing out, and sure enough, Christina Aguilera and Michelle Rodriguez were the first two out of it, swords in hand.

“This just keeps getting better,” Lambert muttered as he and Fillion raced towards the other building. There was a small entrance there, what looked like a crawl door just big enough for one person to go through at a time. Hopefully that meant there was something on the other side of it for them to stand on. Otherwise, it was going to be a long drop.

“Lambert! Little sword help here!” Kelly screamed at him. A moment later, the sounds of swords clashing together could be heard. Kelly Clarkson had just cross swords with Christina Aguilera.

“Get that thing open!” Lambert ordered Fillion, grabbing his own sword and rushing back to help.

* * *

Selena Gomez had given up trying to hold her breasts as she ran. It was getting ridiculous anyway, and besides – she had great tits. Why was she ashamed to show them off as she ran for her life?

She was the first of the group to come skidding around the corner onto the street, and the first to notice the cart wasn’t where it was supposed to be.

“Who moved the cart?” she asked, arms akimbo, her breasts still bouncing a bit from her running.

“There it is!” Debby Ryan said, pointing down the street.

“Why are we worried about a cart?” Carrie Underwood asked as they raced towards it.

“The commander has a plan,” Demi Lovato said. “But the cart should’ve been up the street a bit.

“Do we move it back?” Jordin Sparks asked as they ran up to it.

“Hey! There’s a naked lady in here!” Selena said, jumping in and finding the still unconscious Mary-Louise Parker inside. “Do we get her out?”

“No time!” Katharine McPhee said as she and Kellie Pickler ran up. “The Commander and the others are coming!”

“Why are we at this cart?” Carrie Underwood asked again.

“There’s a plan,” Kat McPhee answered. “It may not be a good plan, but it’s all we got.”

“This day just keeps getting better,” Jordin Sparks muttered.

* * *

The inside of the next building was practically a maze of scaffolding and support frames holding the large ceiling above them. Fillion was the first inside, still clutching the two bottles of whiskey inside his coat – how they’d not broken so far, no one knew, or cared. He took two steps in, and practically skidded to a halt. There was even less room to move in here as there was out on the roof. The beams were maybe a foot wide at best, and there was no easy way down to the floor below, which aside from some piles of hay, was bare.

“Oh, fuck,” he muttered.

“Don’t stop now!” Clarkson said, shoving her way in behind him. She pushed him along the beam, trying to clear enough room for Lambert to get in. How he managed to do so without being stabbed by either Xtina or Rodriguez, no one would ever know, but he was right behind the two of them, and he came to as much of a stop as they did.

“You said you had a plan,” Clarkson reminded them.

“Wait a minute,” Lambert said. “There’s three of us, and only two of them – why are we running again? We can beat them easily.”

Fillion turned around to look at him, walking backwards as he went. “Uh, I don’t have a sword – an oversight on someone’s part. And, really, there’s only enough room here for one of us to fight at a time, and you’re last in – OUCH!” he cried out as he backed into another beam, smacking his head. He bent forward – and fell down to the ground below. He landed in a pile of hay and vanished from sight.

“So much for outnumbering them,” Clarkson said.

“I’m okay!” They could hear Fillion call up to them. “And so’s the Whiskey.”

“You have the oddest friends,” Lambert quipped.

“You found him,” Clarkson reminded him.

“You knew him first!” Lambert shot back.

“God, you two fight like an old married couple,” Xtina grumbled as she climbed into the room. Rodriguez was right behind her. “I thought you said you didn’t have a boyfriend, Captain Perfect Ass.”

“Captain Perfect Ass?” Lambert asked, his eyes automatically dropping to Kelly’s rear end.

“He’s NOT my boyfriend!” Kelly snarled back.

“I’m her First Officer,” Lambert said, raising his sword to cross blades with Xtina again.

“Same thing – you risked your life to save hers. If you two don’t belong together, I don’t know who does.” She paused for a moment. “Too bad you’re both going to die here.”

“Less talking, more killing!” Rodriguez snarled, grabbing a hanging rope next to her. She kicked off and swung out, barely avoiding other beams as she passed Lambert and Clarkson. She did manage to knock over a gas lantern some fool had left on up here, but she stayed on course and came landing on her feet in front of her prey.

“Nice trick,” Lambert said, admiringly.

“Oh, shut up!” Kelly said. She leapt forward, knocking Michelle’s sword aside with her own, and punched the mercenary right in the face. Rodriguez stumbled backwards, hit her head on the same beam Fillion had fallen foul of earlier, and dropped to the ground not far from where he’d landed.

“You can’t buy good help these days,” Xtina muttered.

“Way out,” Kelly said, pointing towards an area opened to the outside just off to the side. If they could reach the right crossbeam.

“When I get my hands on you, Captain Perfect Ass, I’m going to rape your boyfriend in front of you for a solid day – nothing but me ripping his ass apart, and you’ll be forced to watch. Then I’m going to kill him before I do the exact same thing to you!”

“You are one seriously disturbed woman,” Lambert muttered, taking a swing at Xtina with his sword. She blocked it, thrust with her own, missed, and swore.

“I think it’s time we ran,” Kelly said.

“Can’t argue that,” Lambert replied. As one they turned and ran as fast as they could along the beam. Xtina tried to swipe at Lambert’s back, but he got away just enough to avoid being cut. The pirate roared in anger and took off after them.

“Don’t stop, just jump!” Lambert said as they hit the cross beam and raced towards the open area.

“Are you sure?” Kelly said as she ran towards what had clearly once been a large loading door.

“No time to argue!” He said, giving her an extra shove. Then Kelly was out in the open, leaping through the air, and falling towards the ground.

* * *

“Get out! Get out of the cart!” Nathan Fillion cried as he raced up to where the others were waiting.

“What?” Selena Gomez said. “We were told to wait IN the cart!”

“Well, now you have to be OUT of the cart!” He said. He glanced in and saw Mary-Louise Parker just coming to. “Hey, you found naked lady.”

“You know her?”

“She’s from the brothel above the bar,” he said, pulling Selena out of the cart. The others were already jumping out. Debby and Demi helped Mary-Louise to her feet, and were almost out when there was a scream above them.

“LOOK OUT BELOW!” Lambert hollered as he and Kelly Clarkson dropped from above to land in the hay in the back of the cart. There was a loud thump, and for a second the whole cart seemed to bow towards the street, but it held together.

“In to the cart!” Fillion hollered. “Everyone IN to the cart.”

“In, out, make up your mind already!” Selena Gomez snarled.

“Push first!” Lambert said, pulling himself up to a sitting position and finding himself staring right at Mary-Louise’s pussy. “Who are you?”

“She’s naked lady form upstairs,” Fillion said as he, McPhee, Pickler, Sparks and Underwood started to shove the cart down the street.

“Guess you’re coming with us,” Lambert said, pulling her down and shoving her towards the front of the cart. “Try and hold on.”

“What are we doing?” Kelly demanded as those outside the cart started to jump in. They were already starting to pick up speed, and it was only now that some of them realized they were on a hill of sorts.

“Quickest way to the harbor,” Fillion said. “Pretty ingenious, if I do say so myself.”

“This was your idea?” Sparks asked.

“Yeah, brilliant, right?”

He was answered with the sound of gunfire. The rest of the pirates had finally spilled out onto the streets, and someone had apparently decided that they were no longer worth 100 gold coins alive.

“Don’t worry,” Fillion said. “Muskets have horrible aim at this range,” he said, resting his arm on one of the barrels. “They couldn’t hit us if they tried.”

As if to reply, the barrel he was resting against took three hits and cracked open, falling off the cart behind them.

“Then again…” he said, looking back.

“No time now, here comes the harbor!” Lambert said, pointing ahead of them. Everyone turned as one to see the tall mast of the Rusted Idol looming ahead of them – and all the barrels, crates, hay bails, and angry Vikings between them and the ship.

“Uh, guys, in your brilliant planning, did you happen to figure out how you were going to stop this cart?” Carrie Underwood asked.

“I thought for sure this road lead to the water in FRONT of the ship,” Fillion said, clearly confused.

“Left road, or right road?” Kellie Pickler asked.

“Left,” Fillion answered.

“Your left or my left?” Pickler replied.

“Oh, fuck,” Lambert said.

They plowed into the makeshift blockade and the cart finally gave out. All 11 people onboard went flying as the wood splintered and flew about, smashing into barrels and hay bails, and sending more than a few Vikings flying into the water or against the hull of the boat.

Remarkably, no one inside the cart was hurt. And they ended up pretty much right next to the gangplank leading up onto the deck of the Idol.

“See, I knew this was the right street,” Fillion said, helping Mary-Louise to her feet.

“Left street,” Pickler shot back.

“Uh, guys, we’re not out of this yet,” Demi Lovato said. They all looked up to see several Vikings running towards them, including the tall and fearsome Horsa Vandervoort.

“PEARCHY! HELP!” Lambert screamed out.

And as if on cue, all the Idol’s cannons facing the harbor fired.

If the crashing cart had broken the makeshift wall on the docks, the cannon fire ripped it to shreds and took most of the Vikings with them. Those who weren’t killed were blown into the water or back into the buildings behind them. Only Horsa managed to remain on the docks, and he was covered in blood streaming from a hundred cuts on his skin. Somehow, that only made him look more fearsome as he struggled to get to his feet.

“GO! GOGOGO!” Fillion screamed, pushing everyone near him towards the gang plank.

“If I never see this Island again, it’ll be too soon,” Katharine McPhee said as she followed him up.

“I never got my broth,” Kellie Pickler complained.

“Uh, should I stay here?” Debby Ryan asked. In response, Demi Lovato grabbed one arm, Selena Gomez took the other, and they ran her up the gangplank, too.

“I can’t believe this worked,” Lambert said as he and Clarkson followed the rest up onto the ship.

“Believe later. EVERYONE TO STATIONS! GET US OUT OF HERE!” The gangplank came in behind her, and not ten seconds later, the Rusted Idol cast off from the docks of Isla Sorna.

“Am I good, or am I good?” Nathan Fillion said, pulling out his two unbroken bottles of Whiskey.

“I should shoot you right now,” Clarkson muttered. “But I don’t have a gun.”

“Can I point something out?” Carrie Underwood said, coming up next to them as the ship slowly turned about as the crew below decks used their docking oars to move them out of the harbor. “What’s to stop them from coming after us in their ship?” She pointed towards the Dirrty Rapist now passing them on the same side the cannons had fired earlier.

“Oh, they will,” Fillion said, pulling out a couple of rags and a pack of matches. “And you can’t outrun them once they’re on the water with a good wind behind them. A frigate’s fast, but a Pirate Carrack’s designed to cut through water even faster. Especially this one. Xtina’s boat is one of the fastest there is.”

“Cheery thought,” Lambert muttered. “Good thing there are no pirates aboard it right now.”

“Yeah, but the key is to keep them occupied until we’re out of sight,” Fillion said. He’d opened one of the whiskey bottles now and was pouring some of the alcohol out onto the two rags.

“What are you doing?” Clarkson asked, confused.

“What’s the one thing sailors fear most while onboard wooden ships out in the middle of the ocean?” he asked, sticking one of the damp rags into the neck of the bottle.

“Pirates?” Clarkson asked sarcastically.

“Vikings?” Underwood offered.

“Storms at sea?” Lambert asked, honestly interested.

“Nope,” Fillion said, repeating the task with the other bottle and other rag. He then handed one to Lambert and walked over to the side of the boat. The others followed him. When he got there, he took his matches and lit one.

“It’s fire,” Fillion answered, using the match to light one of the wet rags. As soon as the fire caught, he threw the bottle over the side and onto the deck of the Dirrty Rapist. It smashed against the wood and spread burning alcohol all over. Fillion took the other bottle back from Lambert, repeated the process, and threw the second bottle towards the other end of the Rapist. By the time the Idol was pulling out of the harbor, wind now filling it‘s sails, pirates were already scrambling around the ship, trying to fight the spreading fire.

Fillion turned back towards the others and actually bowed.

“Am I great, or what?” he asked.

* * *

Xtina stood on the docks, her face lit only by the flames lapping at the hull of her ship. Her pirates were already trying to fight the fire. Alcohol fires weren’t that big a deal if caught before they got into the wood. The Dirrty Rapist would sail again soon.

Just not soon enough to catch the Rusted Idol.

“Why are you just standing there!” Dina Meyer screamed at her. “Half the town is on fire, your Pirates keep fighting with my Vikings, and the whole island’s gone to hell!”

“The ship comes first,” Xtina said, not even looking at the other woman.

“Without my island, you’re nothing more than a dirty pirate!” Meyer screamed at her. Xtina looked over. Dina was a full half a foot taller than little Xtina, but when the small blonde whipped out her sword and placed it at the redhead’s throat, it was clear which one was in charge.

“I think your reign as Queen here has ended, Your Highness,” Xtina muttered.

Dina straightened up. “You’re going to kill me?”

Xtina shook her head as two of her more burly pirates stepped up behind her. “No. You just became my slave, Your Highness. Take her to my private quarters and tie her there. Oh, and make sure she’s naked. Use her if you must.”

“WHAT?!” Dina said, fear in her eyes as the two men grabbed her and walked her off towards the still burning ship.

“I’m going to find the Rusted Idol,” Xtina said as Dina was being taken away. “And when I do, I’m going to have my way with that entire crew, and gut each one before I take the next. And when I finish, slitting open Captain Perfect Ass’ stomach to spill her guts across my deck, then I’ll either let you go, or kill you, depending on how I’m feeling.” She smiled sweetly at Dina as the men walked her off. “Hope I’m feeling generous.”

* * *

Queen Natalie Portman fell back on her bed, had naked body immediately pressed there by the weight of her newest lover. Rachael Leigh Cook was atop her, their lips locked in passion as Rachael used her fingers to play with Natalie’s breasts. The two brunettes rolled about on the bed, their bare flesh pressing against each other as they went. Finally, the Queen came out on top, smiling down at her old friend.

“Why haven’t we done this before?” Natalie asked, brushing hair out of Rachael’s face.

“Hush, let’s not talk about it. Let’s just do it.”

The Queen laughed and started to kiss down Rachael’s chest, past her breasts, all the way down her stomach to her slit. Rachael squirmed a bit as the Queen’s tongue entered her, but the hot, wet pussy that greeted Natalie proved her friend was more than a little into the sex that was happening.

“Oh, fuck…” Rachael moaned as Natalie went to work on her, her lips and tongue finding every pleasurable spot in Rachael’s pussy. “Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck!”

“Such language around your Queen!” Natalie joked.

“You aren’t my Queen in here,” Rachael said, sitting up and pulling Natalie up to her. Suddenly, she was in charge, flipping Natalie over onto the bed, face down, and spreading her legs. Rachael got down on her knees and kissed the Queen’s ass.

“Oh, I like this,” Natalie said, still joking. “I should make everyone do this.”

“You don’t really want everyone’s lips on your ass, do you?”

“Oh, I can think of some people. But right now? Just you.” Natalie swooned a bit. “God! I haven’t felt this good in ages. Are you sure that was just maple candy?”

“Absolutely,” Rachael said, sliding two fingers into Natalie’s sopping wet pussy.

“Oh, YES!” Natalie gasped as pleasure shot through her body. Rachael was in complete control now, jack hammering her fingers in and out of Natalie’s pussy like a woman possessed. She dropped her head down to Natalie’s breast and started sucking on the erect nipple she found there. This only added to Natalie’s pleasure, and soon she couldn’t control herself, flailing about as her orgasm came on fast and hard.

“Oh, yes! Yes! YES! YESYESYESYESYEEEEESSSSS!!!!” Natalie screamed aloud, her back arching up high enough to push Rachael off her chest. She was up like that for several long moments before finally her body seemed to collapse, and she fell to the bed, spent.

“Are you okay, Your Highness?” Rachael asked, laying down next to the Queen.

“Oh, yes,” Natalie said, pulling Rachael in for a kiss. “I’m more okay than I’ve been in ages.” She kissed Rachael again and again. “I want more of you,” Natalie said. “All of you! I can’t get enough of you.”

“Calm down, Highness,” Rachael said, laughing and kissing Natalie in return.

Their kisses turned back into sex moments later, and the two women rolled about on the bed like there was nothing else in the world that matter to them than each other.

From the doorway, having come at the sound of the Queen screaming, Michael Hayesworth watched in silence, feeling a bit of his heart breaking.

* * *

The warship Impervious sailed into Hammerhead Atoll to the sounds of horns and trumpets. The new ship had only days before been resting in the shipyards, waiting for the final touches and the royal inspection before becoming the new Flagship of the Port Fleet. Now, after the devastating attack on Port and the destruction of most of Port’s ships, the Impervious was flying under new colors.

Pirate Colors.

“Oh, my! Oh! OhOHOHooooOOOOHHHHHYESSSSSSS!!!!!” Young Princes Miley Cyrus, heir to the throne of Port, came hard all over the tongue and face of the woman who had essentially owned her since she’d been taken prisoner along with the Impervious.

“Good little girl,” Keira Knightley, the self-proclaimed Pirate Queen said, getting off the bed where the former Princess lay. “Did you enjoy that, my dear?”

“Y-yes,” Miley admitted, trying to catch her breath. Ever since being brought to Keira, Miley had essentially been her sex slave. She’d not been let out of Keira’s quarters, not allowed to see her two ladies in waiting, Vanessa Hudgens and Tiffany Thornton, and hadn’t been allowed to wear clothing. She was as far from being a Princess right now as she’d ever been in her life.

And the worst thing was that a small part of her liked it.

Miley had been a complete virgin before Keira had gotten to her. Now, while she’d yet to lay with a man, Miley had been enjoying sex with Keira for days. Keira had penetrated each of her holes with her strap-on, but done so gently, lovingly. Despite the fact that Miley knew she was in very real danger, she felt completely safe when she was in Keira’s arms.

“Get dressed,” Keira said suddenly, throwing a pile of rags at Miley. Miley blinked. She hadn’t worn clothes in days. Why did she need them now.

Keira was already getting dressed herself, paying no attention to Miley as she put on her own clothes. Miley rushed to catch up, as Keira somehow managed to move very quickly to get into her pants, boots, and corset. By the time Miley had thrown on the ripped shirt and barely-fitting pants, Keira was throwing on her coat and heading to the door.

“Come with me,” the Pirate Queen said. Miley rushed to catch up.

She hadn’t been outside since she‘d been thrown in here, and while there were ample windows in Keira’s quarters, Miley was surprised to find it near dusk as she stepped out onto the deck of the ship. The Pirates paid her no mind as she followed Keira one door over, to the slightly smaller first-officer’s quarters. Keira didn’t bother to knock, merely walked right in.

“We’re here, Megan,” Keira said. Miley followed her into the room and gasped.

There on the bed, hands tied to the bedrail, naked save for some gold jewelry around her waist, was Vanessa Hudgens, one of Miley’s Ladies in Waiting.

“Princess!” Vanessa gasped.

“Vanessa!” Miley called out, trying to go to her friend, but Keira held her back. It was only then that Miley noticed the other person in the room.

Megan Fox had been the Pirate who’d actually captured Miley and Vanessa, and she was as rough and tumble as one would expect a Pirate to be. Covered in tattoos, dirt, and grime, she looked as nasty as her reputation was. Except here she was completely naked, and had clearly been doing all sorts of things to poor Vanessa.

“Already?” Megan asked, looking surprised. “We made good time.”

“We did,” Keira said. “Get dressed – and bring your slave. We dock any moment.”

“Right, right. We’ll be right there,” Megan said. She moved to find her clothes.

“I’ll be on deck,” Keira said, walking out. Miley gave Vanessa one last look, then followed Keira outside.

“Welcome to Hammerhead Atoll, Princess,” Keira said as Miley came out on deck. Ahead of them, lit only by the rapidly sinking sun, was a wall of what looked like discarded ships, run aground and joined together with stray wood, bricks, and the occasional heavy rock. The Atoll was easily as big as the island that held Castle Port back home, but was open in the middle, with more than enough water and room for several large ships to dock inside, protected by the walls around them. As the Impervious passed through the opening to go inside, the sun went down, and suddenly a hundred torches lit up, providing just enough light for the crew to bring the warship to a stop.

Moments later, Megan Fox joined Miley and Keira, Vanessa Hudgens trailing after them. Unlike Miley, Vanessa hadn’t been allowed to put on clothes, and she stood behind Megan wearing only the same gold jewelry around his hips that Miley had seen earlier, otherwise naked. Miley grabbed her and held her close, hoping neither of the two pirates would complain.

“Welcome home,” Megan said. “Wasn’t sure we’d make it back this time.”

“I was never worried. Everything worked according to plan,” Keira said. Across the way, a group of pirates were struggling to get a large, heavy gangplank across to the Impervious.

“So we’ve defeated Port and become the only real power on the seas anymore,” Megan said. “Now what?”

“Now, we hit every ship we come across, take whatever we want – whoever we want – sink what we don’t take, and rule the oceans,” Keira said. “Our legends are assured now, what more could we ask for?”

Megan was silent for a long moment. “More money?” she said at last.

Keira laughed. “We’ll get you all the gold you could want, Megan. Soon enough.”

The large, heavy gangplank finally slammed down onto the Impervious’ deck. As they looked across towards the Atoll’s side, there was suddenly a woman standing at the other end of the plank, waiting for them. In the torchlight, they could make out very little of this woman, save for the fact that her skin was almost sickly pale, almost the same shade as moonlight itself. She made no move to introduce herself, but it wasn’t needed. Keira and Megan knew her. Too well.

“It’s time,” Kate Beckinsale said quietly, her voice traveling across the gulf between the Atoll and the ship effortlessly. “Bring me the blonde.”

With that, she turned and vanished into the darkness behind her. Keira and Megan exchanged worried looks, then glanced over at Miley and Vanessa, who were holding each other even tighter now.

“Go get her,” Keira said.

“Yeah,” Megan said. “I don’t want to be the one to keep her waiting.”

* * *

Part of Hammerhead Atoll was an old fort, built long ago by people long forgotten, and abandoned until Pirates had discovered it some 150 years ago. Made of solid stone that had withstood the test of time, the old fort was the center of the base, and just shy of being a castle itself. Hallways were lined with stolen tapestries and statues, some of them older than the fort itself. Paintings and fancy furniture filled the rooms, and the beds were on par with the one Miley had slept in back home in Port.

Everything had been stolen off other ships, or raided from ports and harbors across Celebria, and all of it scurried away here, for the Pirates to enjoy when they weren’t on their ships. The wealth in the Atoll’s fort alone could probably pay for enough food to feed a good sized Kingdom for a year.

Miley and Vanessa were escorted into the very heart of the fort, a large amphitheater, open to the night’s sky above. The two captives were taken to seats down in the front, where they were chained to a pair of seats facing the open area in the middle. That open area contained only a bed and two large torches on poles. There, they were left alone.

“What’s going on?” Miley asked, looking at Vanessa. “Where’s Tiffany?”

“Still on the ship, I think,” Vanessa said. “They never touched her.”

“Thank goodness,” Miley said. “Are you okay? I know they raped you, but-”

“Don’t think of me, Princess,” Vanessa said. “You’re all that matters. Tiffany and I would give our lives for you. Yes, they raped me, and that Fox woman intends to keep me with her when she gets her own ship, but I would go through it all again if it meant saving you.”

“The Pirate Queen’s been raping me, too, Vanessa,” Miley said softly. “You don’t suffer alone, and I will do everything I can to keep you and Tiffany with me.”

“That could be troublesome,” Keira Knightley said softly as she suddenly sat down next to Miley. Megan Fox sat down next to the still naked Vanessa Hudgens, groping a boob playfully as she did so.

“What’s going on?” Miley asked. “Why are we here.”

“You’re here – just like Captain Fox and I are here – to watch. What’s about to happen is not a good thing. It’s an act of evil – pure evil. No living person has seen it in almost a thousand years – at least, no one who has lived to tell the tale.”

As she spoke, two more pirates brought out poor Tiffany Thornton. The beautiful blonde Lady in Waiting was still clad in the same dresses she’d been on when she, Princess Miley, and Vanessa Hudgens had boarded the Impervious, thinking it was just the start of another Fleet Week. That seemed like a lifetime or two ago to Miley, but here was Tiffany, looking only slightly ragged from the experience.

“You need to know that I can’t prevent this,” Keira whispered in Miley’s ear. “There’s power at stake hear beyond any either you or I could imagine – I’ve only seen a fraction of it, and what I’ve seen scares me more than anything I’ve ever seen before.”

“What’s happening?” Miley demanded.

The two pirates – Sara Ramirez and Brenda Song – escorted Tiffany to the bed, and sat her down on it. Quickly, they stripped her of her dress and her underclothes, leaving her naked. This was nothing new to either Miley or Tiffany – Miley had been having Tiffany and Vanessa make love in front of her as she explored her own sexuality back in Port – what seemed like even more lifetimes ago now.

Tiffany was shaking in fear, and for a moment, Miley wanted to call out to her, but a stern look from Keira Knightley was enough to shut her up. The Princess was scared now, but not nearly as scared as poor Tiffany was out on that bed.

Sara Ramirez and Brenda Song finished stripping Tiffany, then laid her down on the bed, tying her hands to the bedposts. She cried a little bit as they quickly got up and left, looking frightful themselves.

“What’s happening?” Miley demanded again. “What are you going to do to her? If you want to rape her, rape me instead! I’ll do whatever you want, just don’t hurt her!”

“It’s not me who’s going to hurt her,” the Pirate Queen said softly, sounding genuinely remorseful.

Suddenly, there was movement in the amphitheater. Miley looked back, and was shocked to see the robed, pale woman suddenly moving towards the bed. She hadn’t seen where she’d come from.

The four women watching went silent as the pale woman approached the naked Tiffany, who was clearly shaking on the bed. The hood came down, revealing a beautiful, if sad looking face with long, dark hair. The robe fell aside next, revealing a nearly form-fitting outfit of pure black leather that was so dark, it seemed to almost vanish in the shadows.

She strode forward and placed a hand on Tiffany’s bare stomach, looking the fearful young girl in the eyes as she did so.

“You’re a virgin, correct?” the woman asked.

“I’ve been with women,” Tiffany said, suddenly going still.

“But no man has ever entered your body?”

“N-never,” Tiffany admitted. “I don’t really like boys.”

The woman nodded and stepped back. “You need never worry about boys again.” With that, she started undoing buttons on her outfit, slowly revealing the pale, almost ghostly skin underneath.

“W-who are you?” Tiffany asked, her voice quivering, her hands gripping her bonds.

The woman looked over at her. “My name is Kate Beckinsale. And for the rest of your life, you belong to me.”

* * *

Tiffany Thornton had been born 23 years ago to a fairly wealthy family of ironsmiths in Port. The men in her family had long toiled to create the metal that held Port ships together, built the cannons that armed those ships, and made the swords that armed her sailors. They had been rich for generations, and would be rich for generations to come, most likely. Tiffany, being a woman, had no interest in smithing, and preferred more womanly tasks. She had grown up learning how to be a member of high society, and when King Thomas had died, Queen Natalie had hand-picked Tiffany to be one of Miley Cyrus’ Ladies in Waiting, one of the most prestigious positions a woman like Tiffany could ever hope to achieve.

Along the way, Tiffany had learned she preferred women to men sexually – no great shock, but not something one of her position went around advertising – so when young Princess Miley asked her to engage in sexual games with her fellow Lady in Waiting, Vanessa Hudgens, Tiffany had reluctantly agreed. Vanessa was gorgeous, and seemed to know much more about sex than Tiffany did, despite being a few years younger. For all of a week, Tiffany and Vanessa had explored each other’s bodies for Miley’s pleasure, and for that one week, Tiffany had felt like everything was right.

Then the Pirates had come, and the whole world had exploded.

Tiffany Thornton was 23 years old when the pale and scary Kate Beckinsale disrobed before her, then climbed onto the bed without a word and started kissing her skin. Kate’s lips and skin were cold – almost unnaturally cold – and every kiss of her lips, every stroke of her fingers sent shivers down Tiffany’s skin. And yet, every kiss and every stroke lit a fire deep inside Tiffany’s body – a fire she hadn’t even felt when having sex with Vanessa. Even the first time she laid with another woman didn’t compare to the extreme sexual lust that was now building in her restrained body.

“The human body is covered in nerves,” Kate Beckinsale said softly as she inched we way up to one of Tiffany’s breasts. “Every inch of skin is potentially a source of pleasure.” She leaned down and licked the underside of Tiffany’s breast. Her skin seemed to come alive, as if brushed with dry ice, only instead of burning her skin, it was like she was being brushed with a swath of electricity. Her skin seemed to come alive, to the point where even the air against it made her hotter, more aroused. Her nipple was already erect from the cold, but now it was sensitive enough to cause Tiffany to catch her breath when one of Kate’s fingers brushed past it.

“Oh!” Tiffany gasped as Kate leaned down to lick the skin of her collar bone. The same sensation from her breast spread here, and seemed to sink down through her skin and into her heart and lungs. The act of breathing or even a beating heart was enough to send a rush of desire and need through Tiffany’s entire body.

Tiffany groaned in delight now, and when Kate straddled her and leaned down to kiss her lips, she didn’t even try to pull away.

The cool skin of Kate’s moth on her own was a shock to Tiffany’s entire body. What the licks had started, the kiss finished. Tiffany’s entire world spun around her like a kaleidoscope, the light from the torches seemingly spinning before her eyes. She couldn’t hear herself think with the rush of air past her ears, and she thought she could feel every thread of fabric from the sheets against her back. She would’ve counted them, had Kate not released the kiss, and started working her way back down Tiffany’s body.

“I’ve made you aware of pleasure now,” Kate whispered, though it sounded like she was speaking right into Tiffany’s mind. “Everything I do will bring you more and more pleasure, until your body can take no more. And then I take you further than any pleasure you’ve ever felt before.”

“Ooohhh,” Tiffany sighed as Kate’s cool fingers trailed slowly down her body, leaving a burning trail of lust in their wake. Already, Tiffany’s crotch felt like a furnace, and she was actively dripping out from between her legs. Kate was barely touching her, and it felt better than any orgasm Tiffany had ever felt before.

“You have wonderful legs,” Kate said, lifting one up effortlessly. Tiffany felt like the appendage was floating until Kate kissed her ankle, and started trailing her tongue up towards her knee.

“Oh, God!” Tiffany gasped. It was as if someone had run a line from her leg right into her crotch, and Kate was doing things to Tiffany’s pussy that no one had ever done before.

“There is no God here,” Kate said, sliding up over the knee and heading up the thigh towards Tiffany’s crotch. With every inch she moved closer, Tiffany felt like her orgasm was moving closer. As Kate’s hair started to brush against her upper thigh, Tiffany felt like she as going to explode. Her best night with Vanessa had never matched this level of excitement. Tiffany was going to climax just from having her leg licked!

And then Kate reached the top of her leg, the crevice between leg and pelvis, and she pulled her tongue away. Tiffany crashed, and crashed hard.

“NO!” She screamed. “I was so close!”

Kate moved quickly, straddling the younger girl’s waist and pressing her own naked crotch against her ribcage, shoving Tiffany’s breasts up in the process. She bent down and took Tiffany’s head in each hand, pulling her up as far as she could go, and then kissed her again.

The feeling returned with the kiss, right at the level it had been when Kate was licking her leg. And it grew the longer the kiss lasted. Well past what Tiffany would have guessed was her limit before orgasm, the pleasure kept increasing.

She couldn’t think straight when Kate broke the kiss, sending Tiffany into another crash. She was dizzy from the sexual ups and downs, and didn’t even notice when Kate laid down flat atop her, lips hovering above one of Tiffany’s breasts. Kate breathed on the nipple, sending a shockwave through Tiffany’s body, then stopped again.

“Please, oh god, Please DON’T STOP!” Tiffany pleaded.

“Surrender to me,” Kate said, sliding her fingers down to Tiffany’s crotch.

“Yes! Yes, oh god YES!” Tiffany bellowed as Kate slid a single finger into her steaming hot snatch. All the pleasure returned at once, shattering Tiffany’s brain. Had she been asked right then and there, her very name would’ve been hard to recall. That she was trapped on a Pirate island, being raped by a woman in front of others, her very life in danger had evaporated out of her mind long ago. All that mattered now was the pleasure.

And then Kate started to fuck her with her finger.

It was as if every cell in Tiffany’s body was shivering with near-orgasmic bliss. A trillion little vibrating pinpricks rolled across her mind, each one screaming for orgasmic release, and yet it wouldn’t come. She didn’t care. She’d live like this forever.

It was as if her entire life had become nothing but pure sexual pleasure, and every stroke Kate made doubled or tripled the levels jolting through Tiffany’s body. It couldn’t be humanly possible to feel this good. It couldn’t be possible even for a god to feel this good.

And then Kate licked one of Tiffany’s nipples, and she felt even better.

Her brain had practically turned to mush, and soon she couldn’t tell what Kate was doing until the woman stopped to change positions or catch her breath. That always brought Tiffany all the way back down to the scared girl on the bed, now crying out for that lack of pleasure. But it always returned right away, as soon as Kate returned.

Tiffany thought for sure she would climax when Kate added a second finger. She knew it had to happen when the woman started rubbing her clit with her thumb. It was impossible for her to keep from exploding when Kate pulled on one of her nipples.

None of that lead to orgasm, though what Tiffany was feeling was so far beyond orgasm right now, she didn’t care. She didn’t care about anything at all right then and there.

And then Kate stopped.

“AAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH! Tiffany bellowed at the loss, which lasted whole seconds while Kate Beckinsale slid down and placed her lips at the entrance to Tiffany’s pussy. Tiffany had time to look up, see what was about to happen, and giggle like a little school girl before her brain melted from the pleasure of one lick against her slit.

At some point between that first lick and the third, Tiffany passed out. At least, she assumed she passed out, because her whole world went black. When she regained some sense of consciousness, she was no longer tied to the bed, but was sitting in Kate’s lap, the other woman kissing her neck while stroking her pussy with her free hand, the other holding Tiffany to her own naked body. The only thought Tiffany had, as her brain was rapidly registering the pleasure blasting her body apart now, was to wrap her arms around Kate and hold on for dear life.

Kate leaned in close and whispered in Tiffany’s ear.

“Cum for me. Release your life to me.”

And finally – FINALLY – Tiffany Thornton climaxed, and for one brief moment, her entire body, the very lifeforce flowing through her veins became nothing BUT pure sexual pleasure and release.

And then Kate Beckinsale bared her fangs and sank them into Tiffany’s neck. Blood spilled out over the two naked bodies as Kate drank like a woman who’d been traveling through the desert for a hundred years without a drop to drink. More and more she consumed.

Tiffany never knew. The last thing her brain registered was her climax.

Tiffany Thornton was 23 when she was killed by the most powerful Lesbian Succubus in the world.

* * *

All four of the women watching were almost as pale as Kate Beckinsale was. Megan Fox got up at once and marched away, unwilling to watch as Kate Beckinsale drained what little life was left out of Tiffany Thornton. Vanessa Hudgens was curled up into a little naked ball, unable to move out of her seat due to her chains.

Princess Miley Cyrus had never seen such evil in her life, and she’d never forget it. She stared daggers over at the Pirate Queen, but Keira Knightley wouldn’t even look at her. Her eyes were staring off through Kate and Tiffany, as if peering into a dark and deadly future.

“There are some evils none of us can stop,” she whispered.


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