…Make Me Feel So Damned Unpretty, Part 7: Hit A Sista Back

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The real people as presented in this story are not

intended to be portrayed as they are in real life. The

fictional characters used are the properties of 3 Arts

Entertainment, Bad Robot, Cameron/Eglee Productions,

Deedle-Dee Productions, Disney Enterprises,

Hanna-Barbera Cartoons, Judgemental Films, Kuzui

Enterprises, Marathon Animation, Mutant Enemy Inc.,

Renaissance Pictures, Sandollar Television, Spelling

Television, TF1, Touchstone Television, Twentieth

Century Fox Film Corporation and Universal Worldwide

Television, and are used here purely for fantasy

purposes. The content here
isn’t meant for under-18s,

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Brittany Murphy says “Previously on ‘…Make Me Feel

So Damned Unpretty’”:

We’ve finally learned that the real world and the

world where the fictional characters live are linked

via dreams and sex (which is how Jennifer, Jessica et

al arrived), and that Sara Hathaway was the creation

of Lisa Thompson. Sara’s doubles – Ellen/Shego and

Tracy/Luanne – nearly send Gabrielle Union down, but

she’s saved by Sydney Bristow; Xena has made our

heroines battle it out to see who’ll prevail; and Lisa

finds out much too late that her lover Holly Marie

Combs is really Evil Piper, who’s in cahoots with

Howard Johnson’s writing friend Velma (now disguised

as Lisa). And something called the Threesome is

coming…

As for the real HMC, read on.

* * * * * * * * * *

The entrance to the Castle was at the end of the

bridge, but the entrance was also closed. Holly

summoned up all her energy and shouted “IS ANYONE OUT

THERE?! I NEED TO GET IN THERE!!!” hoping someone

would hear her and, if not actually open the gates, at

least give her their attention. Nothing.

“I guess I’ll have to climb that thing after all,” she

muttered, and was blown headlong into the air by a

blast from behind her. Holly landed on the bridge, and

whipped her head up to see a little flying speck of

light coming in for the kill. She registered for a

second that it was Tinkerbell, and ran away from her

as Tink waved her wand again; the fairy had been

furious about losing Kim Possible and Jennifer Garner

earlier, and was determined to make up for it.

Holly dodged the blasts as she made for the wall, but

Tinkerbell was fast and dangerous; she finally started

swatting around her as if her enemy was a fly, but

Tink managed to avoid her flailing hands. And Holly

was getting tired…

* * * * * * * * * *

“What do you mean, you can’t find her?!” Ashley

shouted as Phoebe continued scrying for their sister.

“I mean it’s not picking her up!” Phoebe told her.

“Wherever Piper went, it’s not anywhere near here.”

“Well, keep trying!”

The crystal suddenly flew out of Phoebe’s hand and

away from the map of San Francisco. It couldn’t

possibly be about to lead them to her, surely…? The

two pairs of sisters chased after it as it landed by

an atlas of the USA.

“Well, at least Piper’s still in the country,” Melissa

theorised, and opened the book. “Start with

California…”

“Don’t tell me my job!” Phoebe snapped.

Melissa didn’t say anything, but joined in the others

by watching as Phoebe did her job over the map of the

Golden State. Piper HAD to be there somewhere… the

crystal stopped dead over a city.

“You’re kidding,” Paige said to the crystal.

But it wasn’t. Piper had been blown clean to Anaheim.

* * * * * * * * * *

Howard kept seeing Will’s broken and bleeding corpse

in his mind as he sat in front of his terminal. Just

before Velma had left for another appointment (to see

Lisa Thompson), she and Brin had explained that he had

been commissioned, as it were, to write a very special

story with her. The sooner he got started, the better

it would be for all of them. And if he did write it,

then given Velma’s links to Hollywood she was sure

some… ah… special dates could be made for him with

some lovely ladies that he’d give just about anything

to be with. But if not, then he’d be resuming his

arguments with Will one on one in the very near

future.

He’d found himself agreeing, but with reluctance. One

of his friends had been killed purely to get him to go

along, and he couldn’t tell the police because no one

would believe him if he explained all the

circumstances; as far as they were concerned, it had

been an accident.

“Think of this as one of your teamups,” Brin had

suggested. And indeed, Howard had written on the

screen “Fantasy Crossovers” as the first two words of

this opus. Velma had specified which characters he

should use, and given him the plots that he had to

use. He hated writing to order – requests were usually

kept to specific ladies, letting him make up the

actual stories, which he liked – but under these

circumstances… the boy started to write.

* * * * * * * * * *

“Da-da daa-daa-daa-daa DAH-da-da-da DAH-da-da-da…”

Penelope threw Jennifer Garner a cross look as the

tall woman sang the “Amok Time” battle music after

taking her place in the ring alongside Jessica Alba

and facing her fellow combatants Sarah Michelle Gellar

and Xena. “You want music? You’ll hear your stuff if

you or Alba get the upper hand. Rules are rules.”

“Yeah, but you gotta admit that stuff’s still pretty

cool after thirty-something years,” Jennifer laughed.

“You won’t be laughing after we’re through,” Xena told

her. “BATTLE ON!”

And with a whirl through the air to land directly next

to Jennifer, Xena opened the fight by whipping her arm

up to catch the actress across the face. Sarah kicked

out at Jessica, who dodged the blow and tried to jab

at Sarah’s side, but Sarah retaliated with a blow to

her body. Jessica quickly bounced back and landed two

rapid punches to her opponent’s stomach, but Sarah

grabbed Jessica and twirled her through the air onto

the ground.

Though things weren’t going Jessica’s way, she was at

least fairly evenly matched with Sarah; Jennifer, on

the other hand, was up against the actual character,

not Lucy Lawless. Xena’s impossibly high leaps weren’t

being achieved here via wire fu – they were the real

thing. They were, at least, not using weapons, but

that wasn’t much help; though Jennifer fought hard,

Xena was bigger and tougher than she was. Plus she had

died and come back more times than John Travolta; all

of which was no help to Jennifer on finding herself

flying through the air from one kick to the chest from

Xena. She scrambled to her feet and whacked Xena in

the neck and the chest, but Xena’s blows were harder

and faster. Damn, she wished she carried a gun all the

time…

“Kick her ass, Xena!” Alex crowed from the crowd.

“Come on, Garner, you can do it! She was never up for

an Emmy!” Kim shouted.

“Give her one for me, Buffy!” shouted Penelope.

“Don’t let ‘em wear you down, Jessie!” Kirsten yelled.

Jessica, face down in the dirt with Sarah grinding her

head down, wanted to live up to it… she scrabbled

her hands behind her, searching for her opponent’s

hair. She found it, and tugged forward hard, pulling

Sarah’s head forward fast, at the same time driving a

sharp elbow backward, and hearing a satisfying crack

as it cracked one of Sarah’s (capped) teeth. “AAGH!”

SMG grunted as Jessica brought herself round, the grip

loosened, and punched her in the eyes. She then

bitch-slapped her hard and kicked her in the crotch

even harder. “That doesn’t work on — SHIIITTT!” Sarah

howled as Jessica headbutted her.

Something Xena had just done to Jennifer; it hurt the

real person more than it hurt the fictional one.

Dazed, Jennifer was grabbed by the shoulder and the

crotch by the warrior princess, and hoisted into the

air. Xena then flung Jennifer down hard; she winced as

she hit the ground, and tried to get up, but Xena

stamped on her, holding her down. “You give up, or you

want some more?” Xena sneered at her opponent.

“You’ve still got one more to go, wideload,” Jessica

said from behind her. Xena faced Jessica, standing

over a beaten Sarah Michelle Gellar.

“She might have beaten me on TV, but I got her for

real,” the ex-Dark Angel added.

Xena grinned. “Like you said, I’ve still got one

more.”

“Bring it on, bitch,” Jessica said.

“Hey, that’s my and Kiki’s line!” Eliza laughed, as

Xena brought it on…

* * * * * * * * * *

Ellen/Shego was thankful that she wasn’t required back

on the set immediately; it would give her time to

track down Sydney and ask her what she thought she was

doing messing up the Threesome. She was even more

thankful that Tracy/Luanne had won the toss deciding

who’d leave the apartment first; having the place to

herself instead of that stir-crazy slapper gave her

time to think before it would be safe for her to leave

(there was no way the two of them should or could be

seen together).

Sydney and that black cunt Union would almost

certainly be on their way back home to throw a spanner

in the works. She needed to get in touch with her

“sister,” and she prayed that they hadn’t messed

things up on their end – Ellen dialled Sara’s number,

theorising that she’d be in her trailer or something.

“Howdy,” Sara answered.

“Sara? We’ve got a problem – Bristow’s not playing

along…”

“That might not be much of a problem,” Sara Hathaway

said from her apartment. “We’ve got the writers on our

team now. One matchup is in the works, and when the

other two are done…”

“So you got Lisa?”

“Well, Evil Piper did. She’s very cooperative – she’ll

do anything for another shot…”

* * * * * * * * * *

Holly batted Tinkerbell away, but the fairy was

glowing brighter, preparing for the final assault. HMC

had seen the effect those explosions had; if she was

in the vicinity of one of those things it would be

goodnight, God bless.

Then she got an idea, as the fairy rushed towards her,

giving off heat as she glowed, preparing to blast

Holly Marie Combs into atoms. She had to time this

just right… Holly flung herself aside as far as she

could at the last possible second, as Tinkerbell

smashed into the courtyard wall with a tiny

high-pitched cry.

The explosion was heard all throughout the castle

grounds, echoing into the afternoon. Xena and Jessica

heard it. Everyone heard it.

Holly heard it and felt it, with chunks of wall

landing on and all around her. She was surprised she

hadn’t been injured as she looked behind her;

Tinkerbell had also survived, and was buzzing by the

hole furiously… THE HOLE! Her hunch had paid off; a

gap had been blasted by the explosion, through which

she could see the buildings of the grounds. Holly

didn’t waste any time scrambling for it, as Tinkerbell

sprinkled her dust on the pieces of the wall.

The pieces of the wall began to fly off the ground and

reassemble themselves inside the hole as Holly

frantically squeezed herself into it; she had to get

through before it sealed up, or even worse before it

sealed her inside. But Tink’s magic was fast and true;

the masonry was healing itself even as Holly

scrabbled.

The hole was soon repaired, and it was as if the

little mishap had never happened.

But by then Holly Marie Combs was safely on the other

side, and in view of a crowd of people among whom were

some very familiar faces.

* * * * * * * * * *

“How come they all look alike?” asked Gabrielle, as

their flight took off.

“Because Sara was the original,” Sydney explained,

“and any cartoon characters who follow have to be in

her image – sort of one disguise for all. Live action

ones can go as they are because they wouldn’t stand

out so much.”

“Guess we’re lucky we haven’t had Top Cat or Team

Rocket come over yet,” Gabrielle laughed.

“Oh yeah, Jessie and James pretending to be girls.

Wouldn’t make any difference in his case…”

“That reminds me, I’ve always wondered – you know Bert

and Ernie?”

“Not again,” Sydney sighed to herself. Scott had asked

her that as well.

* * * * * * * * * *

Scott Foley sat there shocked, as he had done for the

past ten minutes; he had gotten to Michael Weatherly

as Sydney had suggested, and he had found him alive.

Unlike Scott, Michael had not become a toon as a

result of his business with Max – but he had taken on

a few characteristics of Logan Cale. The reason Scott

was sitting there shocked was that Michael was unable

to walk; “I guess it could have been worse; she could

have broken my neck like that killer in the first

season. Or made me vanish like Lydecker,” Michael

added ruefully.

“And this came on after you and her did it?” Scott

asked. Michael nodded.

“So are we going to jump her on set?”

“No… we’ll jump her afterwards.”

“How come yours was so nice and mine wasn’t?”

“I don’t know,” Scott answered, getting up to help

Michael out of his room – they had studios to get to

and women to capture. “Maybe if Fox had brought her

back for a third year, or if she won a Golden Globe

and was up for an Emmy…”

Michael demonstrated that his middle fingers weren’t

crippled.

* * * * * * * * * *

Ultimately, Howard Johnson always threw himself into

his fiction, no matter what the premise…

“‘Oh, come on,’ she entreated softly. ‘We’re all part

of the same network. Besides, he wants you as well.’

Noticing the wide grin and nods of her co-star, the

blonde teenager started to undo her top…’” and then

he heard his father tap on his door.

“Howie? You okay?”

“Uhhhh… not really,” Howard admitted. “I still can’t

believe it…”

“About Will?” The news about his friend’s tragic

accident had reached the ears of the Johnsons that

evening; no one had found out about Howard’s presence.

“Yeah,” Howard continued. “I mean, this morning he was

alive and now…”

“You writing?” his father asked as he entered. Howard

nodded, expecting/hoping to be given the third degree

- he would welcome it; any excuse to not continue.

“We all lose people,” his father continued. “We all

have to deal with it the best way we can. Better to

write your way through it than to drink.” He patted

Howard’s shoulder affectionately. “It’ll be okay…

you come down when you’re ready.”

Howard nodded again. Will’s death had upset him, and

writing was a way for him to get over it… but he

still wished he could do something else. Even if Velma

had some good taste in subjects.

* * * * * * * * * *

Faith sat back, going over the script pages for next

day in her mind. Tomorrow was the day she had been

waiting for; Tracy had set her mind on a big gangbang

with her co-stars, but she had insisted on waiting

until Max got through shooting her scenes.

That suited Faith, especially since Gabrielle would be

along for the ride; the Slayer-in-reserve thought

about the well-built darkie and smiled to herself. SHE

would be the one doing the riding, if she played her

cards right. And there was also another fight scene to

do; Faith wouldn’t need any stunt doubles. Of course,

Gabrielle would, but those were the breaks. And she

could always kiss it better afterwards. Setting down

the script and sure she was ready, Faith switched her

lights out and went to sleep, the last thing on her

mind being how Eliza was doing. Badly, she hoped.

* * * * * * * * * *

The crowd could see Holly Marie Combs coming towards

them, stumbling across the field as she did. Even

Jessica was watching her making progress; what was

wrong with her…? Then she felt a stinging pain; Xena

had slapped her.

“Get your autographs later, I’ve got a fight to win,”

the tall black-haired fighter snarled.

Jessica whacked Xena across the face, and the battle

began again; Xena was fast, and was wearing Jessica

down. Bruises were starting to build up, and Jessica

battled back, but Xena could go on forever it seemed

like. Jessica was fit, but up against a TV

character… that was it! Xena was a TV character, she

had her own tricks that people could get familiar with

- Jessica feinted, and Xena soon had her on the grass,

her face up close to the younger woman’s. “Don’t

worry, it’ll be quick,” the Warrior Princess breathed.

“You’ll be back here before you can say – ”

Suddenly she felt a sharp pain in her neck; Xena’s

face contorted and she staggered back, gagging and

choking as she realised what had happened – Jessica

Alba had cut off the flow of blood to her brain, and

Xena would be dead in thirty seconds. She had used one

of Xena’s own, most familiar tricks.

Unable to speak because of the choking, Xena tried to

bring her hand up, but Jessica grabbed both hands and

held tight. “Don’t worry,” Miss Alba assured her,

“you’ll be back here before you can say…” as the

Warrior Princess collapsed. Jessica raised the index

and middle fingers of her right hand to her lips and

blew imaginary smoke off them, and not waiting for

Xena to revive, the winner and reigning champion

joined the others, giving Jennifer Garner the

high-five and SMG the finger.

“I guess you guys get to go home,” Penelope told them.

“But I don’t wanna go!” Eliza shouted.

“Don’t fight it,” Penelope told her, as Holly reached

them, “Jessica won it fair and true; and we’ll be

showing you the way back as soon as Piper here tells

us what’s going on… what are you doing here, Piper?”

“I’m not Piper…” was all Holly Marie Combs had time

to say before finally collapsing, her journey at an

end.

* * * * * * * * * *

“Try to relax, Hol,” Kirsten Dunst told her. “You look

like you’ve been through hell.”

Holly looked around her; she was inside the Castle

now. Nice bedroom, she had to admit. She had also been

cleaned up, and her cuts were taken care of; she would

be okay. And she could finally tell someone her secret

- assuming this was all not a dream.

“Not a dream, Combs,” Kim Possible assured her.

“I was hoping it was,” Holly said ruefully. “I’ve had

to play Piper for real for I don’t know how long -

ever since Lisa Thompson introduced me to those twin

sisters…”

“Twins?” Jessica Alba interrupted. “Black hair, big

smiles, bodies like – ”

“Yeah, that’s them… I go to the bathroom, when I

come back they’re making out and I’m thinking ‘Oh

shit, not INCEST’ but then they’re talking about a

threesome, I say OK, one of them pops her head out

from under the sheets and it’s that green girl you’re

always fighting on your show, and they say ‘Uh-uh, not

you,’ and the next thing I know I’m being pulled onto

the bed and Shego’s eating me out and the bed opens up

and I’m stuck down here; so when I see Rose she calls

me Piper and I have to go along with it… listen.”

Holly cocked an ear out. There were some definite

groans from the room next door.

“Oh, that’s just Eliza,” Tara assured her. “She’s

gotten a taste for how things work around here.”

“That’s why she doesn’t want to go back,” Sarah

Michelle Gellar added. “The little slut.”

“You know, it would be easier if two more of you could

agree with her,” Kim suggested.

As she explained, Eliza found herself getting impaled

on Xena’s sword. The good news is, it was by handle

only. In training for the apparent position of the

town hussy, she was being entertained by Xena, Daphne,

Clover and Peter Perfect, who was joyously being

fellated by Miss Dushku; she was an infinitely better

lover than SMG. Being the youngest, Clover was last,

but while she waited to get hers, she entertained

herself by thinking over the last time she and Kim

Possible had met…

* * * * * * * * * *

No matter how many combinations the villains took, Kim

always managed to stop them; she listened to Drakken

and Lord Monkey Fist quarrelling over whose fault it

was as the ship the two of them were trapped in went

hurtling downriver. Now all she had to do was get Ron

out of that trap he was in and they could go home.

Kim hurtled towards where she had seen him last; she

could have rescued him but he told her to go on and

stop the baddies. She figured that he was maybe a bit

more resourceful than she had thought. And here she

was at the site where he had been trapped – “had been”

being appropriate. The trap was busted open, and he

was gone. “Don’t tell me he got out without my help!”

she said to herself in an admiring tone, before she

looked closer.

It was busted in an inward direction; meaning he

HADN’T gotten out by himself. Someone had helped him.

And as Kim sniffed the air, she knew who that someone

was. “Shego…!”

Drakken’s power behind the throne was indeed close to

Kim Possible’s sidekick when she caught up to them; he

was unconscious, strapped down, and nude. Kim’s wide

eyed widened even more at the sight of what he had

down below – she hadn’t expected him to pack something

that big – before she whirled on the sneering Shego.

“What did you DO to him?!”

“Actually, it’s more what HE did to ME,” Shego

answered. “He’s got more going for him than you give

him credit for – you should try it sometime.”

“Eeeewww! Friends don’t do friends, missy!”

“I didn’t want to at first, but I was talked into it.”

“Someone talked the great Shego into doing something?

I am so sure.”

“A lot easier when you’re on the same side,” Sam

announced, tackling Kim. The teenager started to fight

back, but was taken by Clover and Alex. Struggling and

kicking, Kim was dragged to her unconscious friend and

sidekick, his limp and shining cock coming closer and

closer.

“First, you’re going to eat each of us out,” Clover

ordered. “Then you’re going to swallow Jewboy here

while we get out of here.”

“Something that big ought to keep you occupied for a

while,” Alex added, ripping her skirt off.

“And what if I don’t?” Kim snapped as the other spies

forced her to her knees in front of Alex. “You’re

gonna kill me?”

“Not a chance,” Clover answered. “You get to stay

alive – it’s everyone else in Middleton that gets to

find out what death’s like. Starting with your

brothers.”

“NO!!!” Kim screamed. She didn’t want them to

experience it, not even once. She dived right into

Alex’s thatch and began to munch half-heartedly, the

thoughts of all her family and friends being wiped out

by these things filling her mind.

“Do it like you mean it,” Alex said coldly. Kim

slipped her tongue into Alex’s cunt, a bit more

passion involved this time. And with each movement of

her tongue, Kim threw herself into it more, the only

positive side of it being that there were only three

of them…

Clover had stayed behind for a few moments after Kim

had eaten out all three of them; she had wanted to

watch little Miss Possible suck off Mr. Stoppable. The

look on Kim’s face as she put her best friend’s penis

in her mouth had been priceless. PRICELESS! She didn’t

look like she was enjoying it in the slightest, unlike

Eliza, who was sucking off Peter Perfect while rubbing

her hands in the cunts of Daphne and… and Clover.

Oooooohhhhh, boy this felt good. Clover started to

stroke Eliza’s hot body in delight – she wanted to

join Xena in tonguing the brunette’s back door, but

only room for one at a time. Reportedly Gabrielle

didn’t go for anal sex while Xena did, which was why

the Warrior Princess looked so damn happy.

Eliza arched herself into the air with all these

people screwing her; she was blissfully happy. She

surveyed Daphne’s sweaty nude form as she masturbated

her, and trembled with delight at the thought of

getting her to herself. But first she had to take care

of Peter; she sped up her sucking, looking up at his

face. He was on the verge of melting with joy, eyes

bugging and mouth dribbling as she blew him. The guy

had probably never had one from a woman before or

something… Eliza managed not to laugh on hearing him

cry “OH FIDDLE!!!” The man was getting his cock sucked

and he couldn’t bring himself to swear even then? She

figured that this was as close as she’d ever get to

having sex with Ned Flanders, as she felt Peter’s

sperm shoot into her mouth.

Clover shoved the pretty boy aside impatiently -

“You’re lucky I don’t believe in hitting women,” Peter

said stiffly. “Why do you think I did it to you,

Perfect?” Clover cracked – and squatted on Eliza’s

face. The live one instantly lapped away at the spy’s

box, helped no end by Daphne and Xena nuzzling at her

jugs; Eliza started to play with Daphne’s own lovely

mammaries, while Xena wielded the sword handle and

pressed it against Eliza’s ass. Her eyes shot open as

she felt it start to work inside; Xena had done this

with some of her male lovers before, and it had been

her proud boast that none of them ever begged her to

stop.

Neither did Eliza…

* * * * * * * * * *

The others had filled Brittany Murphy in on what had

happened, and Brittany had finished thanking Kirsten

for rescuing her. “But why didn’t you help me, Jess?

Or Eliza? Or Gabrielle?”

“Gabrielle isn’t here,” Jennifer told her. “Nice to

know someone’s safe.”

“We’ll all be joining her soon enough,” Jessica added.

“Even Eliza.”

“But – ”

“But nothing, Tara. Dushku’s coming back with us even

if I have to tie her up and drag her along behind us.”

“She might like it,” Tara laughed.

* * * * * * * * * *

Gabrielle was indeed safe, and back on set, but her

thoughts were on Sydney; she had escorted her back

safely, and she’d been welcomed back by the others,

with all the shop talk on the surface – but she could

see a little mistrust in her co-stars’ eyes. They knew

that something was up, and she knew that they knew.

She just hoped that Sydney Bristow could do her job.

Sydney had to keep up the pretence of being Jennifer

Garner for a while longer, and that meant getting

ready for her next shot. Luckily she could get through

it all professionally, and even more luckily the

appointment she had to keep was after shooting was

through for the day. Sydney hoped the person she was

meeting wouldn’t be late.

* * * * * * * * * *

At lunch, Velma – as Lisa Thompson – congratulated

everyone on a good morning’s work, and headed to her

office to work on some rewrites for a later scene. And

to find out how her co-writer was doing.

It had been nice of Lisa to create Velma alongside

Sara Hathaway, true – a sort of dream sister to go

with this dream daughter – but it had been a mistake

for Lisa to invest so much time in her. She may have

been a Creator, but the amount of time she had spent

turning her into a person meant that she had pretty

much forfeited any actual control; when Lisa had

dreamt Velma into the real world she was virtually a

Creator herself, with her own ideas of what she

wanted. Too damn bad they had to run counter to

Lisa’s.

The first thing Velma had done was to make contact

with the alternate reality Piper Halliwell that came

about in the 100th episode of “Charmed” – the twisted

one with nothing to live for. Once she had Evil Piper

on her side, the plan started to come together; she

had tracked down Alba’s Sex Slave by noticing those

fantasies of his he posted on newsgroups, comparing

them to ones that had come about in the other place,

and started to strike up a long-distance relationship

with him. He was a Fan for sure. And when he had

written that one about Alba and Milano playing Max and

Phoebe fucking in the bath, Velma had seen it happen

in the fantasy world.

She had also noticed that he was messing about with

Alba’s dreams. He was good enough to tamper with both

worlds… he was perfect for what she had in mind.

Velma read over what Howard had written; yep,

excellent. But a little polish wouldn’t do any harm

before she posted it online – she started to write.

* * * * * * * * * *

To casual observers, it looked like Brittany Murphy,

Eliza Dushku and Tracy Ryan were having a three-way

huddle.

“She knows?” Faith asked.

“Sydney Bristow must have filled her in,” Tracy

explained. “When I get my hands on her – ”

“She’ll probably shoot you again,” Tal – an older,

less plump Tal – interrupted. “Gabby’ll never let us

get her alone.”

“We might not have to,” Faith grinned. “Tomorrow Max

is back on set and we’re doing the big fight scene

without stunt doubles.”

“Wait, you’re not gonna…”

“Kill her? Too dangerous… let’s just say she’s gonna

have injuries that’ll keep her out of the way until

it’s safe.”

“You’re sure it’ll work?” Tracy asked.

“Five by five, Luanne,” Faith beamed.

* * * * * * * * * *

“I sure don’t wanna do this, don’t think I do,”

Penelope told them as she led the real world people

through the Castle, “but we keep our bargains around

here.”

She was leading them to the centre of the Castle; once

they were there they would find a door that would take

them straight back to their own world, being as it was

the only direct link. They wouldn’t end up inside the

actual Disneyland castle, of course, but each one

would arrive back in the last place they had been

before arriving here.

“Hope you manage to find the others,” Jennifer told

Kim, who like the other natives was coming along to

say goodbye.

“Oh, Middleton’ll turn up,” Sam said airily, before

realising what she said.

“We never said anything about Middleton,” Kim said

tensely. “How did you know?”

“Er… um… ”

“HOW DID YOU KNOW?”

“Oh, we might as well tell you,” Alex sighed. “We’re

in on the Threesome… they might be forgiving of

Gellar, but we aren’t forgiving of you. We know where

they’ve stashed your townsfolk…”

“Start talking,” Jennifer ordered.

“Blame one of the Fans,” Clover replied. “She wrote it

into one of her stories.”

“She?”

* * * * * * * * * *

She being Velma, who was at this moment putting the

finishing touches on her polish; at around the time

Howard started to work on the next one, listening out

for the car Velma had said she’d send around – sort of

a bribe she had promised him.

Yep, there it was – honking outside his house.

Relieved that his parents weren’t there, Howard saved

what he had written so far and went outside to see the

driver who’d be taking him to the set of “Saturday.”

Fifteen minutes after he had left, Howard’s mother

came into his room and studied his laptop. He had

indeed saved what he had written, and he had indeed

turned it off, and she knew from experience that he

changed his password regularly; but she also knew that

he was prone to scribbling rough drafts down in pencil

before committing them to the Net (she had seen a few

pages of one he had planned where Cameron Diaz, Drew

Barrymore and Lucy Liu had travelled back in time and

met Jaclyn Smith, Kate Jackson and bloody Farrah).

She started to search, and soon found in the dustbin

what she was looking for.

She shook her head – the boy was never going to learn.

* * * * * * * * * *

“Oh, come on,” she entreated softly. “We’re all part

of the same network. Besides, he wants you as well.”

Noticing the wide grin and nods of her co-star, the

blonde teenager started to undo her top for the older

woman. They were all three safely away from any prying

eyes, and if everything went well it wouldn’t even

take that long.

“If you knew how long I’ve been waiting for this…”

Martin Spanjers sighed as Kaley Cuoco stripped.

“Why’d you wait until now?” Kaley asked, giggling.

“You know, I have no idea… but anyway…”

Kaley stood naked and willing before her companions,

demonstrating just why some wags called her show “8

Simple Rules For Fucking My Teenage Daughter.” “You

too,” the older woman instructed Martin. “Unless you

only want to watch.”

He didn’t; removing his clothes he was less appealing

to look at than the other two, but it didn’t really

bother them. Knowing his age, he’d probably ejaculate

before he got it inside either one of them. It didn’t

help that the woman was gently stroking Kaley with a

little cane, standing tall and proud and nude herself.

Resting it on Kaley’s tuft of pussy, she started to

tap it, slowly at first then harder. She slipped the

tip of the cane into the teenager’s pussy, and twirled

it inside; Kaley’s mouth opened as she felt her cunt

tingle from the cane. “Ohhhhhhh…..” she breathed as

it rubbed against her coming out, and the woman

brought up the cane, drawing it along the girl’s

nipples.

Tapping the cane against her palm, the woman made a

circling motion with her free hand. Kaley turned,

exhibiting her excellent bubble butt, and spread it as

she bent towards Martin, taking his little penis in

hand. “Can I…?” Martin asked squeakily.

“Touch them?” Kaley finished. “Go right ahead.” And

she began to massage his cock as he felt her tender

young breasts; he’d been jacking off to them so much

after work ended each day that he had built up a

picture of them in his mind, but the real things were

even better. His prick felt wonderful under Kaley’s

fingers, stiffening and swelling in almost no time.

And behind him, he saw the older woman rubbing his

co-star’s ass with that cane; he hoped she wasn’t

going to raise blisters. Martin didn’t want any

suspicions raised by Kaley not being able to sit down

on set.

“Want it in my mouth?” Kaley beamed, her voice going

up on the last word – the older woman was introducing

her to the joys of having her butt rimmed, running her

tongue over Kaley’s asshole while stroking her lower

half. Martin nodded, and silently thanked the fates

that he wasn’t that kid from “Who’s The Boss?” as the

cute blonde opened her mouth…

* * * * * * * * * *

“Her name’s Velma Dinkley,” Alex snickered. “Not her

real name, of course…”

“That’s why we’re telling you – you’ll never find

her,” Clover added.

“Impossible, is it?” asked Jennifer. “Any more

impossible than my doing this?” And she walloped

Clover across the face.

“Oh that’s it, hag!” Clover howled, and cannoned into

the tall lady, driving her into the door as it flew

open, sending the two straight through into the real

world – but not the place Jennifer had been to last.

Instead of a ladies’ toilet, she found herself on a

street, but not a normal street. There were tourists

and stores everywhere, but it still wasn’t a normal

street… Jennifer Garner recognised it instantly. She

was in Disneyland.

And judging from the crowd gaping and pointing at the

person next to Jennifer, so was Clover…

“They can see Clover? Oh my Bill and Joe, it’s

started…” Penelope bleated, indicating that the

others should stay inside the doorway – going through

would mean the crowd would see them all.

“Is this to do with the Threesome?” asked a nervous

Kirsten. “Has it started?”

“One part of it, yeah,” Tara replied.

“Oh, this is bad,” Kim moaned. “This is season finale

bad.”

* * * * * * * * * *

“This is great!” Kaley shouted as she pulled on

Martin’s throbbing cock, all damp from being in her

mouth. She could feel it about to explode over her

face; it was going to be his first time, she could

tell.

The pleasure was all Sydney Bristow’s, her cunt

rubbing against Kaley’s upraised one from behind as

she forced the cane deeper inside the girl’s

tenderized rump. It was warm from the spanking, but

she was going to massage and kiss it better… and as

Kaley felt Martin’s hot come crash onto her face like

a tidal wave, she knew there’d be more fun later when

Jennifer Garner back there kept her end of the bargain

and got her a guest spot on “Alias.” Like she had

said, they were all part of the family.

At the same time, Velma finished reading the story she

and Howard had done about Jennifer Garner seducing

Kaley Cuoco on the set of her sitcom. She could sense

that it had come to pass, and she settled back with a

cup of tea (if there was one thing she and the late

Lisa had agreed on, it was that booze was a no-no).

“One down, two to go,” she said merrily, and chugged

the drink back. “Crossover, here we come…”

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